When “Schmooking dot Shit” Promises Free Breakfast—But the Pancakes Are a Lie

Picture this: It’s Saturday morning at a swanky hotel, the kind with marble floors and a restaurant so high-end you need to Google half the menu. You’re the front desk agent, coffee in hand, and in marches a guest, eyes wide with expectation, stomach growling louder than a Harley. “But Schmooking said breakfast is included!” they declare, brandishing their phone triumphantly like a golden ticket to Wonka’s factory.
You steel yourself for battle. Because you know what’s coming—and it’s not eggs Benedict.