Broomsticks, Bus Doors, and a Dash of Snark: The Art of Petty Revenge on Public Transit
If you’ve ever ridden public transportation, you know the unwritten rules—let folks off before you try to get on, keep the aisle clear, and, above all, have patience. But sometimes, chaos reigns and etiquette flies right out the bus window. In a recent gem from r/PettyRevenge, Redditor u/Either_Coconut shares a story that’s part public service announcement, part stand-up comedy, and 100% relatable for anyone who’s braved the morning rush.
Let’s set the scene: Downtown Philly, a packed bus, and a throng of riders eager to swap places. What could possibly go wrong?
The Great Philly Bus Bottleneck
Picture it: You’re standing by the bus door, mentally preparing your exit strategy as the vehicle hisses to a stop. You know this is the busy stop—one where a tidal wave of humanity will try to disembark and embark simultaneously. The doors swing open and, as if by magic (or mayhem), the crowd outside surges forward, forming a human barricade that would make even the most determined linebacker pause.
Our protagonist, caught in this scrum, does what any reasonable commuter would: tries to squeeze through, uttering polite “excuse me”s as they go. But public transit is not always a haven for manners. In the jostle, our hero brushes against two women—one unbothered, the other, let’s call her Ms. Grouchyface, takes offense and unleashes a string of curses.
Snark to the Rescue
Instead of sulking away or firing back with equal hostility, u/Either_Coconut channels their inner stand-up comic:
"What do you want me to do? FLY over the crowd? My broom's in the shop! If my broom were working, I wouldn't need to take the bus!"
The crowd erupts in laughter, and Ms. Grouchyface is left to stew in her own saltiness. The moment is pure Philly: tough, witty, and just the right amount of petty. Our hero walks off, victorious and unbothered, proving once again that the pen (or, in this case, the tongue) is mightier than the sword.
Why Does This Happen—And Why Is It So Satisfying?
Crowd dynamics on public transit are a social experiment in real time. The urge to rush onto the bus is strong—everyone wants a seat! But when that urge blocks people from getting off, it creates a bottleneck that slows everyone down. It’s a classic case of “me first” thinking, and it’s universally annoying.
That’s why stories like this resonate. We’ve all been there—stuck behind oblivious passengers, or jostled by someone in a hurry. Most of us just sigh and move on. But when someone delivers the perfect zinger, it’s cathartic for everyone who’s ever had their toes stepped on during the morning commute.
The Art of Petty Revenge
Petty revenge isn’t about causing harm; it’s about restoring balance, often with a wink. It’s the verbal equivalent of holding up a mirror to someone’s behavior, with just enough exaggeration to make it memorable. “My broom’s in the shop” isn’t just a comeback—it’s a gentle reminder that we’re all in this together, and a little humor goes a long way.
Plus, let’s be honest: Sometimes the only thing that gets us through the daily grind is the hope of witnessing—or delivering—a moment of perfect, harmless sass.
Your Turn: Share Your Transit Tales!
Next time you’re wedged between a backpack and a baby stroller, remember: a little snark can turn frustration into entertainment. Have you ever had a similar run-in on public transit? Did you dish out a clever comeback, or witness one that made your day?
Share your best (or worst!) bus and train moments in the comments below. Let’s swap stories—and maybe, just maybe, inspire a better commute for us all.
Stay sassy, stay polite, and remember: if your broom’s in the shop, the bus is always an adventure.
Read the original story on Reddit: Block me from leaving the bus? Here, have some snark!
Original Reddit Post: Block me from leaving the bus? Here, have some snark!