Cigarettes, Cagoles & Car Chaos: How One Student Served Up the Ultimate Petty Revenge in a French Parking Garage
We’ve all been there: running late, nerves frazzled, and fate decides to throw one more obstacle in our path. For Redditor u/SureTisGrand, that obstacle came in the form of a black Nissan X-Trail and its audacious driver—a true “Cagole” straight out of the south of France. What started as a routine parking frustration quickly escalated into a masterclass in petty revenge, complete with deflated tires, a police ticket, and, yes, a potato where no potato should ever be.
Pull up a chair, grab your croissant (or popcorn), and let’s dive into a saga that proves karma sometimes needs a nudge… and a side of creative produce.
Meet the Cagole: Queen of the Curb
Picture this: It’s 2001, and our protagonist is running late for class, dreading the icy stare of a professor who already has them on thin ice. As they attempt to escape the underground garage, their path is blocked by an SUV so shiny it could double as a mirror. Out steps the local legend: the Cagole. For the uninitiated, a Cagole is a uniquely southern French phenomenon—a bold blend of bleached hair, dark roots, sun-baked skin, and enough attitude to fill the Mediterranean.
She’s got the cigarette, the gum, the swagger, and absolutely zero regard for the three massive NO PARKING signs adorning the garage door. When asked—politely-ish—to move her car, she responds with a one-finger salute and a line that deserves to be etched in the annals of French insults: “Don’t get your panties in a twist now asshole. I’ll be gone in 5 minutes anyway so chill.”
Five Minutes... and Fifteen... and Thirty
Of course, five minutes turns into fifteen, then thirty. Our student hero is now not only late, but marinating in the anticipation of an epic professor takedown. Desperate, they track down the Cagole, who is blissfully chain-smoking and chatting away over coffee inside a nearby business. Any hope for a civil resolution is promptly extinguished by another round of French expletives and a firm promise to move the car—eventually.
At this point, the story could have ended with a simple tow, but fate (and a little creative thinking) had bigger plans.
Petty Revenge: Served with a Side of Spud
When the Cagole finally saunters back to her illegally parked chariot, she finds four tires flatter than a day-old crêpe. As she attempts to process her misfortune—and perhaps get a little more sun while she waits—the police arrive, ready to add insult to injury. Not only does she get a ticket for illegal parking, but after cursing out the officers (pro tip: never a winning strategy), she’s also slapped with a ticket for disorderly conduct. The cherry on top? Her precious Nissan is towed away, leaving her to stew in the summer heat.
But wait! There’s more. Our narrator, in a final act of culinary creativity, confesses to squeezing a potato into her exhaust pipe—a move as old-school as it is mischievous. Did she ever notice? Did the potato cause chaos? The world may never know, but the poetic justice lingers like the aroma of roasted tubers.
Why We Love Petty Revenge (and Potatoes)
There’s something universally relatable about stories of petty revenge. They remind us that while life isn’t always fair, sometimes you can tip the scales just a bit. Whether it’s a parking feud, a workplace slight, or the eternal struggle for respect in the classroom, we all fantasize about those small victories that make the universe feel just a touch more balanced.
And let’s not overlook the true hero here: the humble potato. Who knew that a root vegetable could play such a pivotal role in a tale of retribution? It’s a reminder that sometimes, the simplest solutions are the most satisfying.
The Takeaway: Don’t Be a Cagole
If this story leaves you with anything, let it be this: respect the parking signs, be kind to your fellow students (especially before coffee), and never underestimate the creativity of someone with nothing left to lose. Oh, and maybe check your exhaust before you drive off.
Have you ever plotted (or enacted) your own petty revenge? Share your stories in the comments—bonus points if root vegetables were involved!
What’s your favorite petty revenge story? Let’s dish in the comments below! And if you enjoyed this tale of sweet, starchy justice, don’t forget to share it with your friends—especially the ones who could use a lesson in parking etiquette.
Original Reddit Post: 'Don't get your panties in a twist. I'll be gone in 5 minutes anyway.'