Coloring Outside the Lines: How a Teen’s Petty Revenge Turned Into His Dad’s 20-Year Church Gig
When you’re thirteen, the world is full of injustices: pop quizzes, curfews, and, for one Redditor, the dreaded Sunday School coloring hour. But what happens when that teenage rebellion gets channeled into the most unexpected—and hilariously long-lasting—form of payback? Enter: “A lifelong payback,” the viral r/PettyRevenge tale where a son’s petty act echoes for decades, binding his father to the most sacred of all commitments: church usher duty.
It’s a story that has everything—puberty-fueled angst, classic parental stubbornness, and a twist worthy of a sitcom. Let’s dive into how one simple signature turned into a twenty-year saga of holy obligation, family lore, and the kind of petty revenge that truly stands the test of time.
The Art of Petty Revenge
Our story begins in the early 1980s, at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, where a young Redditor (u/Dontimoteo726) is facing the weekly torment of Sunday School. Picture this: you’re thirteen, your voice is cracking, your patience is thin, and you’re being forced to color pictures of Jesus with a pack of stubby crayons. Torture, right?
When he pleads with his father to let him skip the coloring marathon and actually stay for the main church service, Dad gives a resounding “No.” Like any self-respecting teenager, our protagonist is not just disappointed—he’s incensed. But instead of sulking, he listens to the church announcements and spots an opportunity: the church is looking for ushers, and it’s a lifelong commitment.
And so, with the cunning of a teen who’s forged a parental signature or two, he marches to the sign-up table and signs up… not himself, but his dad—using their shared initials and last name for plausible deniability. It’s a stroke of petty genius.
From Coloring Duty to Usher Duty
Fast-forward two weeks, and Dad receives a formal notice: congratulations, you’re now an usher every third Sunday, forever. The best part? He can’t back out without admitting his son’s trickery—an unthinkable blow to his dignity in a congregation he’s belonged to since 1933.
Thus begins a two-decade journey. Every three weeks, rain or shine, Dad dons his usher badge and fulfills his sacred (if slightly coerced) duty. The son? He gets a legendary “ass whooping” that, as he puts it, “today’s kids would never understand.” But the real punishment is the story itself—a family legend, retold at gatherings, with Dad (now 92) still grumbling about his son’s masterstroke.
What Makes This Petty Revenge So Satisfying?
There’s something universal about the petty revenge story. It’s not about destruction or cruelty—it’s about cleverness, timing, and the delicious satisfaction of poetic justice. In this case, the punishment fit the “crime”: Dad wanted his son to commit to Sunday School, so the son committed him to usher duty. For twenty years.
It’s also a testament to family dynamics. The son’s act didn’t break the family; it became a running joke, a story that connected generations. Even the “ass whooping” is recounted with a touch of nostalgia, a relic of a different era’s parenting style.
And let’s not overlook the church politics. The dad, unable to save face, is trapped by social expectations. He could never admit he’d been outwitted by his own offspring, so he played along—every third Sunday, for twenty years. It’s a reminder that sometimes, our pettiness can have consequences way bigger (and funnier) than we ever imagined.
Lessons (and Laughs) for Us All
What can we learn from this epic tale? Maybe it’s that the best revenge is the kind that becomes family folklore. Or that teenage rebellion, when harnessed creatively, can leave an impression that lasts a lifetime—literally. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that you should always keep an eye on the sign-up sheets at church.
So next time you’re tempted to serve up a little petty revenge, remember: you might be creating a story your family will tell for generations. And if you’re a parent? Maybe, just maybe, let your kid skip coloring hour once in a while.
Have You Ever Pulled Off a Legendary Petty Revenge?
What’s your best (or worst) story of harmless payback? Did it backfire or become a family legend? Drop your tales in the comments below—let’s keep the petty revenge spirit alive!
Inspired by u/Dontimoteo726’s legendary post on r/PettyRevenge—proof that sometimes, the best stories start with a box of crayons and a little bit of teenage cunning.
Original Reddit Post: A lifelong payback