Drunk Driving, Destroyed Cars, and a Front Desk Clerk’s Worst Night Audit Ever
It’s 2 AM at your local hotel. The snow is piled high, the bar across the parking lot is finally closing, and your friendly neighborhood front desk clerk is just trying to survive their night audit. What could possibly go wrong? If your answer is “a tipsy demolition derby featuring five parked cars, a police station next door, and a cast of characters straight out of a sitcom,” you’d be absolutely right.
Welcome to the wild world of late-night hospitality, where the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is what (or who) will come through the lobby doors next.
Snowbanks, Bars, and Bad Parking Karma
Let’s set the scene: Our narrator, u/Arlenni, arrives for their shift at a hotel that shares a chaotic parking lot with a noisy bar. Thanks to a recent snowstorm, parking is even more of a nightmare than usual. After a struggle, Arlenni parks in a less-than-ideal spot near the bar, hoping the worst of the night is behind them.
Spoiler: It isn’t.
As the clock strikes 2 AM and the night audit begins, the real action starts—not at the desk, but in the parking lot. A bar staffer bursts in with the news: Some bar patron just left and crashed into multiple cars. Panic sets in. Is Arlenni’s car now modern art? Is it even still in one piece?
Cue the police, the guests with destroyed cars, and a flurry of phone calls that would make even the most seasoned hotel worker sweat.
The Drunk Driver Domino Effect
As Arlenni anxiously juggles audit tasks and disaster management, they piece together the wild saga unfolding outside. Here’s the best part: The driver—dubbed PDD (Probably Drunk Driver)—not only managed to smash into one car, but set off a chain reaction that left five vehicles battered and bruised. One guest’s car was totaled; a rental car couple racked up their second accident; other cars were so tightly wedged together, tow trucks couldn’t separate them without inflicting more damage.
Redditors were quick to marvel at the sheer force required. As u/icantswim2 exclaimed, “To be able to demolish two cars, and impact two more requires a LOT of force, and this drunk driver did it in a snowy parking lot no less.” The physics alone are mind-boggling—especially considering the snow should have made high-speed impact harder, not easier!
And yet, as u/Difficult_Wave_9326 chimed in, “If you don't have snow chains, you need to be gunning it.” Cue the debate: some insisted you don’t actually need to “gun it” on snow, lest you want to star in your own slip-and-slide crash reel. Others, like u/beef_weezle and u/icantswim2, argued city driving in snow is best tackled slow and steady, proving the only constant in winter driving is disagreement.
Why Choose DUI When a Hotel Room Is Cheaper?
Here’s the kicker: the whole scene unfolded right next to a police station. As Arlenni mused, “Why would someone drunk drive so close to a police station? There is literally a hotel right there which is much less expensive than a DUI.”
Reddit pounced on the irony. “Trying to make sense out of some people is like trying to smell the color nine,” quipped u/RedDazzlr. The thread spun into a delightful tangent about what the number nine actually smells like (cupcakes? black cats? upper-case cupcakes?), but the point stands—some decisions just defy logic.
Other users, like u/NocturnalMisanthrope, took a broader view: “Why would someone drunk drive...end of sentence.” For some, the real question was why drink at all, given the chaos (and paperwork) that so often follows.
Yet, as Arlenni later clarified, the hotel typically does house tipsy bar patrons—just not after audit hours. The bar’s late closing that night meant even that safety net was out of reach, making the outcome all the more frustrating.
Collateral Damage, Synesthesia, and the Front Desk’s Survival Instinct
The aftermath was grim: cars jammed together, shattered axles, yellow snow trailing into the police station (a subtle nod to the girlfriend’s not-so-sober state), and guests waking up to find their vehicles unrecognizable. The only silver lining? No major injuries, and—crucially—Arlenni’s car survived unscathed.
Reddit’s coping mechanism? Humor, of course. “Weird—drunk people usually exhibit such good judgment!” deadpanned u/Mookie-Boo. Meanwhile, u/RoyallyOakie summed up the night audit ethos: “It wasn’t your car...that’s all that matters sometimes.”
And if you’re still wondering about that color-nine tangent—turns out, some Redditors actually experience synesthesia, associating colors, numbers, and smells in ways that would make this whole tale seem almost normal. For u/DaneAlaskaCruz, nine smells like a black cat. For the rest of us, it just smells like a long, cold night at the front desk.
Lessons from the Night Audit Front Lines
What’s the moral of this wild winter tale? Maybe it’s that working hotel nights prepares you for anything. Maybe it’s that you should always spring for the hotel room instead of risking a DUI (seriously, it’s cheaper). Or maybe, as the community jokes and debates, some things are just as impossible to explain as what the number nine smells like.
Either way, Arlenni’s message rings clear: “Out of all the things I’ve experienced working in a hotel, this is the one I’d least like to see a repeat of.” And who can blame them?
Have your own night audit horror story—or an opinion on what number nine smells like? Drop it in the comments below. Just remember: when in doubt, park far from the bar.
Original Reddit Post: I just wanted to run my audit