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Ghosts of LinkedIn Past: How My Teenage Crush Turned Into a Weird Social Media Stalker

Young man reflecting on past relationships while looking at his phone, with a thoughtful expression.
In a photorealistic scene, a young man contemplates his past romantic experiences, particularly a bittersweet teenage crush. As he scrolls through social media, he's reminded of the complex emotions that linger long after brief encounters. This image captures the essence of nostalgia and the unexpected connections that shape our lives.

We all have that one person who, despite a fleeting encounter, manages to haunt the corridors of our memory. Maybe it’s the high school crush who never asked you to prom, or the mysterious stranger from a summer trip. For Redditor u/Prior-Emu-5918, this “almost something” turned into a digital dance that’s equal parts petty, fascinating, and just a touch unsettling.

Picture this: a teenage spark, a Virgin Mary necklace, and a guy who chose his girlfriend over a two-day whirlwind romance. Fast-forward five years, and suddenly that same guy seems to be lurking in the shadows of your LinkedIn notifications. Welcome to the strange new world of social media shadowing—where the real petty revenge is living your best life and watching your old flames scramble to keep up.

When Your Ex-Crush is Your Biggest Fan (On LinkedIn, No Less)

Let’s rewind a bit. Our heroine and her crush shared only a couple of “enigmatic” days together as teens. There was mutual interest, but alas, he had a girlfriend and nobly (or not-so-nobly, depending on your perspective) cut off contact. The relationship that pulled him away dissolved within two months, but he never circled back.

For years, this “side quest” faded into the background—until the digital breadcrumbs began to appear. First, he started wearing a Virgin Mary necklace, just like the one she’d worn when they met. Coincidence? Maybe. But then came the Spotify playlist filled with Kaivon songs—one of which directly referenced her hometown. Subtle? Not so much.

But here’s where things get truly deliciously petty: LinkedIn.

The LinkedIn Tango: Petty Revenge in a Professional Package

Now, LinkedIn isn’t exactly known for high drama. It’s the realm of humble brags, headshots, and “open to work” banners. But as u/Prior-Emu-5918 discovered, it can also be the stage for the most passive-aggressive of power moves.

She updates her profile after years of digital dormancy. Days later, so does he. She tweaks her information in May? Suddenly, he’s got a fresh new profile pic. She posts another update recently, and—surprise!—he’s uploaded yet another photo.

Coincidence? Maybe once. Maybe even twice. But three times? That’s a pattern. That’s a dance. That’s… well, honestly, a little bit hilarious.

Why Do We Stalk Our Exes Online?

Let’s be honest: who among us hasn’t done a little harmless online sleuthing? There’s a certain guilty pleasure in seeing how people from our past are doing, especially if there’s unresolved business or a little “what if” energy still hanging in the air.

But there’s something uniquely satisfying about being the one who gets watched. In the world of petty revenges, few things feel better than knowing your glow-up is giving someone else FOMO. It’s the adult equivalent of walking past your ex at the supermarket looking impossibly chic and put-together—except you’re doing it from the comfort of your laptop.

The Power of the Digital Breadcrumb

u/Prior-Emu-5918’s story is a perfect example of how our online lives can be a playground for subtle power plays. Every profile update, new picture, or playlist can serve as a little “remember me?”—or, in this case, “look at me now.”

Is it petty? Absolutely. Is it fun? You bet. Is it a little bit weird that a guy you knew for 48 hours is still watching your every LinkedIn move years later? Well, maybe. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s a harmless (and kind of hilarious) reminder that sometimes, the best revenge isn’t living well—it’s living well enough that someone else can’t help but notice.

Your Move, LinkedIn Lurkers

So, next time you update your LinkedIn and notice a certain someone popping up with a suspiciously similar change, don’t get annoyed—get amused. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and nothing says “still thinking about you” quite like a new headshot posted three days after yours.

Have you ever had an old flame (or nemesis) keep tabs on you in the digital world? Share your best stories of online petty revenge in the comments below!

Because hey—if you’re going to be someone’s LinkedIn inspiration, you might as well own it.

What’s the pettiest, funniest, or most surprising way someone has kept up with you online? Spill the tea!

Original Reddit Post: A guy I liked as a teenager rejected me. But five years later, he seems to update his social media (particularly his LinkedIn) whenever I do