Golden Justice: How One Neighbor Turned a Gas Thief’s Life Into the Ultimate Pro Revenge Story
Some neighborly disputes are settled with a firm handshake or a fence mended. Others? Well, they end in the kind of poetic justice that makes the entire internet stand up and cheer. Enter the wild true story of a gas thief, a suspicious homeowner, and a revenge so legendary, Reddit’s r/ProRevenge can’t stop talking about it.
Imagine stepping outside, ready to mow your lawn, only to find your gas can mysteriously empty—again. You know you didn’t use it all. You start to suspect foul play. What would you do? For Reddit user u/MarchCompetitive6235, the answer involved a little ingenuity, a strong bladder, and a deep well of patience.
The Not-So-Subtle Art of Gas Thievery
Our story begins in the days before cheap security cameras were as common as dandelions. OP (Original Poster) noticed a trend: his five-gallon gas can was running dry at an alarming rate, even though his lawnmower only sipped a quart at a time. Suspicion roused, he set up a makeshift security system—just a laptop with a webcam and motion detection software.
The results? As OP tells it, “Caught the guy going into the backyard literally five minutes after I left the house.” His neighbor, let’s call him Frank (because that’s probably what you’d call a guy like this), had been helping himself to free fuel—both for his mower and his car.
Sweet Revenge: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make… Gasoline à la Urine?
Here’s where the story leaves the realm of minor annoyance and accelerates straight into legendary pettiness. Rather than confront Frank or call the cops, OP decided to serve justice in a form that only the most creative minds would consider.
For an entire week, every time nature called, OP answered by peeing into the gas can. He topped it off, ensuring it still carried that unmistakable gasoline aroma (as u/Hempsox observed, the gas residue would mask any telltale scent). Science fact from the comments: as u/CatTender explained, “Gas floats on top of water,” so the smell would remain convincing, even as the can’s contents became increasingly… golden.
Now for the bait. OP made a big show of prepping for a road trip—checking his car’s fluids, packing bags, the whole nine yards—ensuring Frank knew he’d be gone for a while. Then, with the scene set, OP left for just an hour. Upon returning (with a wink—“car trouble,” of course), he found Frank in his yard, yanking his mower’s cord and cursing up a storm. Minutes later, Frank’s car sputtered and died just a couple of blocks away.
The pièce de résistance? The gas can, now conspicuously empty, sitting on OP’s patio. As u/inflatable_pickle succinctly put it, “The last paragraph is the cherry 🍒 on top.”
Double Tap: Bureaucratic Brilliance and a Sheriff’s Surprise
But our hero didn’t stop at mere urinary justice. As OP revealed—almost as an afterthought—Frank’s exploits didn’t end with stolen gas. He was, as OP put it, “a huge piece of crap… had arrest warrants.” So, in a move that left the r/ProRevenge community in awe, OP applied for a sheriff’s ride-along program—in Frank’s name.
The brilliance here is in the details. Frank, being both lazy and clueless, actually handed over all his information to OP, asking him to drop the application off. As u/jnelsoninjax marveled, “That is a massive power play there! The SO must have been really confused as to why a guy with active warrants would apply to do a ride along!” OP himself admitted, “This guy did 90% of the work for me!”
Needless to say, the authorities were delighted. As OP later quipped, “The police shouldn’t be mad at me. He had a warrant. I did their job for them.” Sometimes, karma just needs a little paperwork and a push.
Community Applause, Science Lessons, and Urban Legends
The r/ProRevenge crowd ate this story up. Top commenters hailed the revenge as “pure poetry” and “chef’s kiss” (u/Clevertown). Others chimed in with their own tales: from adding two-stroke oil to a thief’s can (u/jhj37341) to filling gas cans with water to foil campsite thieves (u/c0brachicken). Some even offered technical advice—like u/Calbinan, who warned that insurance might not cover damage caused by putting the wrong fuel in a tank.
Amid the laughter, the science lessons flowed. Fuel floats, sugar sabotage isn’t as effective as Hollywood suggests (thanks, ethanol!), and if you’re looking for real mayhem, apparently tampons in the gas tank are a mechanic’s nightmare (u/MarchCompetitive6235 [OP]).
But the biggest consensus? This was revenge done right—a blend of patience, creativity, and just the right amount of “scorched earth,” as u/Sunshine0085 approvingly put it.
The Last Laugh: When Petty Meets Pro
Stories like this remind us that sometimes, the best justice isn’t swift—it’s slow, methodical, and just a little bit gross. OP’s tale isn’t just about punishing a thief; it’s about outsmarting someone who thought they’d never get caught, and turning the tables with style.
So the next time you suspect your neighbor of helping themselves to more than a cup of sugar, remember: a little ingenuity (and maybe a lot of patience) goes a long way. And if you ever need inspiration, r/ProRevenge has plenty more where this came from.
Have you ever gotten creative with your own revenge? Or witnessed a petty act turn legendary? Share your stories in the comments below—just maybe leave the bodily fluids out of it.
Happy mowing, and may your gas cans stay full (of actual gas)!
Original Reddit Post: Gas Thief Revenge