Green Screens, WiFi Scans, and Lawnmower Men: Adventures of a Cybersecurity Road Warrior
You know your job is weird when you’re propping up a green screen in a convertible at a roadside café, juggling Raspberry Pis and WiFi cards, all while dodging the gaze of suspicious locals—oh, and keeping your boss from realizing you’re working halfway across the country. Welcome to the world of road-trip tech support, where the only thing more unpredictable than the hardware is the company gossip.
Our protagonist, a cybersecurity consultant known on Reddit as u/lawtechie, sets out on a multi-state journey with enough gear to make a Bond villain jealous and a plan to blend work with a splash of adventure. But in the land between big city boardrooms and West Virginia mountain highways, things never go quite as smoothly as planned.
Packing Pandemonium and the Roadside Rest-Stop Yard Sale
Let’s start with the packing list: changes of clothes (check), a wireless pentest rig the size of a carry-on (check), a toolkit for car emergencies (because who trusts a rental?), and a bonus banker’s box from a co-worker who’s flying in. The real challenge? If our hero needs anything other than sunglasses, it’s a full-on, parking lot gear explosion.
But who cares? The Appalachian Mountains are calling, the weather is perfect, and pandemic-era open roads mean smooth cruising. That is, until the first work stop: a small West Virginia town, a classic roadside café with an RC Cola menu board, and a target—an aging CopperBolt device by the local library.
The Green Screen Gambit: Zoom Calls from the Wild
Here’s where things get delightfully absurd. There’s a status call in 30 minutes, and it’s critical that nobody on the call realizes this consultant is running ops from a convertible. The solution? A towel-sized green screen, hung with the precision of a Hollywood set, so Zoom’s virtual background can conjure up the illusion of a tidy home office. It’s all fun and games until you realize the green screen is practically resting on your head and the clock is ticking.
Cue frantic WiFi scanning: Raspberry Pis, SDRs, and enough tangled cables to make an IT admin weep. The CopperBolt WiFi network is elusive, but at least the laptop now sees “Bobby’s Chevrolet.” Five minutes to showtime and the only thing reliable is the trusty phone hotspot.
Lawnmower Man and the Company Call of Doom
Just as our hero settles into the passenger seat, hair hastily combed, the Zoom call kicks off. The pre-call banter turns to last week’s infamous incident: “The Lawnmower Man.” Picture this—your company’s top salesperson, dialing into a client meeting shirtless, mid-mow, reading findings like a preacher and pitching for more business while the client winces in horror. The Slack channel aftermath? The client wants “The Lawnmower Man” permanently off their screens.
Meanwhile, our protagonist is trying to blend into the background—until a managing director joins and starts rapid-firing through a deck of new prospects. Just as our hero’s moment to shine approaches, fate intervenes in the form of a Chevy Silverado, a squeaky-braked entrance, and a very suspicious Bobby, owner of “Bobby’s Chevrolet.”
“Are You an Influencer?”: When Tech Meets Small-Town Curiosity
Bobby, all safety green and wraparound shades, is not amused by the impromptu trunk-side hardware bazaar. The exchange is classic:
Bobby: “Hey! What on Earth are you up to?”
Me: “Uh, I’m working. Can you leave me be?”
Bobby: “What? Are you an influencer?”
Me: “Look, Bobby, I’m working. I’m paid to do this.”
Guessing Bobby’s name throws him off, but he’s not convinced. He eyes the gear, locks his truck, and disappears into the café, just in time for our hero to miss their cue on the call. The CopperBolt scan comes up empty, but at least that’s a data point. And hey, there’s always time for coffee.
On the way out, a peace offering and a little geeky humility smooth things over with Bobby. Truck and consultant both roll out, adventures (and mysteries) continuing down the road.
Conclusion: More Than Just a Job—It’s a Roadside Spectacle
What’s the lesson here? In tech support (and life), things rarely go according to plan. Sometimes, you’re a cyber-sleuth in a mountain parking lot, trying to avoid detection—from both your boss and the local Bobby. Sometimes, you’re just glad your green screen held up and you didn’t get mistaken for a YouTuber.
If you’ve ever tried to work remotely in less-than-ideal circumstances, or if you’ve had a “Lawnmower Man” moment of your own, let us know in the comments! And if you see a suspicious tangle of wires and a harried-looking consultant at your local café, don’t worry—they’re just paid to do this.
Stay tuned for the next episode of cybersecurity shenanigans on the open road…
What’s your wildest remote work story? Ever had a “Bobby” or “Lawnmower Man” in your professional life? Share your tales below!
Original Reddit Post: This is my job! I'm paid to do this (part 2)