How 67 Breakfasts Became the Pettiest Bill in Navy History: A Chow Hall Tale of Revenge
There are few things more sacred in the military than breakfast—except, perhaps, the art of well-timed, perfectly executed petty revenge. Today’s tale, straight from the hallowed halls of Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge, serves up both in heaping portions, with a side order of camaraderie and just desserts.
Picture this: a group of Navy sailors, road-weary and hungry, stop at an Air Force base for a quick refuel and a much-needed breakfast. Among them is “Dan,” the textbook overachiever—good at his job, but perhaps a little too convinced of his own indispensability. When Dan jumps to the front of the chow hall line under false pretenses, his shipmates decide it’s time for a little payback. What follows is a masterclass in military mischief and teamwork, proving once and for all that in the Navy, revenge is best served with eggs and bacon.
The Setup: When Breakfast Lines Become Battle Lines
Every military unit has a “Dan”—the guy who never misses an opportunity to remind everyone just how needed he is. On this fine morning, Dan cuts the chow line, claiming urgent business with their aircraft. But as the original poster (u/Kuronekosmom) and his buddy “Lee” both knew, Dan’s story didn’t hold water: “Had there been a problem radioed in ahead, we all would have been aware.”
At this Air Force chow hall, protocol required everyone to sign in with their name, rank, and unit number to pay for their meal. Dan, in full self-important flourish, proudly scrawled, “Small, Dan A. AE2 VF-*,” complete with his unit and last four digits of his social. Lee, catching the whiff of opportunity (and perhaps a touch of mischief), signs in with Dan’s details too. The OP? He keeps the joke rolling with another “Small, Dan A. AE2 VF-*.” Laughter ensues, and they think nothing more of it.
The Petty Payback: When One Breakfast Tab Feeds 67
Fast forward a couple of weeks. At quarters, an unexpected announcement: Dan has been charged for 67 breakfasts. Turns out, nearly the whole unit had “borrowed” Dan’s identity at the chow hall sign-in, and the Payment Services Division (PSD), in true bureaucratic fashion, simply shrugged and charged Dan’s account for every single meal.
For a brief moment, Dan was on the hook for about $235—no small potatoes in the early 90s. As u/Economy-Dirt-1668 commented, “It’s got everything: humor, intrigue, horror, revenge, food, even a happy ending!” The entire unit erupted in laughter, and even the Commanding Officer couldn’t help but see the funny side, suggesting everyone chip in to pay Dan back.
Community Chow: The Comments That Make the Story
Reddit’s military regulars and civilians alike had a field day with this story. As u/Silverheart117 quipped, “I'm gonna guess you were all ‘Petty’ officers,” to which the OP replied, “VERY ‘petty’ officers, LMAO. Yeah we were all second class P.O's. They were AE2, I was AMS2.” Sometimes, the best revenge is in the job title.
Others saw the heart behind the hijinks. u/WildMemoir loved that the story was “a nice, petty revenge but also a heart warming ending bc Dan might've been annoying but he was not an a-hole lmao.” OP chimed in, confirming, “Nah, he was a good guy. Just had to be taken down a notch now and then.” That’s the beauty of military camaraderie: you can roast each other mercilessly, but it’s all love in the end.
Some, like u/JeffTheNth, even suggested, “Should be submitted to Reader's Digest 'Humor in Uniform' if that's still a thing.” And for those who’ve served, the tale feels especially familiar. As u/Marine__0311 put it, “As a Marine guilty of a few things myself, I appreciate military shenanigans.” Semper Fi, indeed.
More Than a Breakfast Bill: Lessons in Humility and Humor
If there’s a moral to this salty saga, it’s that no one is too important to wait in line—or to be on the receiving end of a little friendly fire. As u/GreyGnome observed, “I hope our enemies see this post as we have very clever people in the military. Thank you for your deviousness.” Military life is full of rules, but just as often, it’s the unwritten codes—like never letting a buddy’s ego go unchecked—that shape the culture.
And let’s not forget the pure, unadulterated joy of a well-played prank. u/buddymoobs summed it up: “Don’t start none, won’t be none.” In the end, everyone paid Dan back, and the story became one more legend in the squadron’s growing anthology of “Remember when…?” moments.
Conclusion: Got a Taste for Petty Revenge?
Whether you’re a sailor, a civilian, or just someone who appreciates a good comeuppance, there’s a universal truth here: sometimes the pettiest acts of revenge are the sweetest—and they’re best enjoyed with friends (and a side of hash browns).
Have your own military mischief or workplace prank story? Drop it in the comments! And if you’ve ever picked up a breakfast tab for your entire squadron—by accident or design—let us know how you served up your own slice of petty revenge.
Original Reddit Post: Enjoy your breakfast.