How a 'Crazy Witch' Curse Ruined a Bully and Sparked a Petty Revenge Revolution
Picture this: you’re a high schooler, just trying to survive the social jungle, when a 6’5” human brick wall is suddenly terrified of you—not because you threatened him, but because he thinks you might actually be a witch. For one 5’1” teenage girl, this wasn’t just an urban legend—it was a masterclass in psychological warfare, sparking a wave of applause and creative stories from the internet’s favorite pettiness hub, r/PettyRevenge.
The internet loves a good revenge story, especially when it’s served with a side of wit and a sprinkle of “witchy” mischief. But what happens when the mere suggestion of supernatural power is enough to topple a bully? Let’s break down why curses are as real as you think they are—at least if you’re named Matthew.
The Petty Art of Psychological Warfare
Our protagonist, u/maraschinominx, recounts a high school lunch date with Matthew—a guy she quickly realized she had zero chemistry with (“talking was like pulling teeth with no anaesthetic”). When she casually mentioned being pagan, Matthew’s friendly demeanor flipped faster than a light switch during a power outage. Suddenly, he was gone, citing an “urgent call,” and the next thing she knew, he was spreading rumors that she was a “batshit crazy witch” who might curse him. Little did he know, he was about to become the star of his own spooky story.
But the real magic happened two years later, when Matthew—now a performer in a band—turned up at her new school. OP spotted her opportunity: she locked eyes from the back of the room and unleashed her best “Kubrick stare,” silently mouthing nonsense with the most unhinged look she could muster. The results? Spectacular. Matthew sweated, stumbled, and turned beet red on stage, the fear of a curse sabotaging his every move.
As u/josephmethew1988 pointed out, “This is basically the placebo effect in social form: he already believed witch = danger, so you gave him one creepy stimulus and his brain filled in the whole curse narrative... it’s a perfect example of how fear makes people sabotage themselves with zero magic required.”
When Witchcraft Becomes the Ultimate Self-Defense
The comments section quickly became a cauldron of creative tales and supportive applause. u/CoderJoe1 summed up the mood: “You used your power wisely.” But the most popular response came from u/ZookeepergameWise774, whose teenage daughter mastered the art of psychological deterrence against bullies. Her recipe? Accidentally drop a bag full of black candles and herbs, mumble cryptic things, and ask unsettling questions about her tormentors’ health and middle names—leaving them terrified of her alleged “powers.”
By week’s end, the bullies were too scared to come to school. The headteacher was “impressed,” but warned against “psychological terrorism.” As several commenters pointed out, bullying itself is psychological warfare—so why not fight fire with fire? u/dellaevaine nailed it: “Bullying is psychological terrorism, so she was fighting fire with fire in my book. Well done for her.”
The OP agreed, lamenting that teachers and authority figures often make bullying worse, and lauding the daughter’s creativity: “That was a brilliant plan... I hope she’s proud of herself, that’s hilarious.”
The Power of a Well-Timed Curse (and a Shopping List)
The genius of these stories isn’t in actual magic, but in knowing your audience and playing into their fears. As OP confessed, “What was I actually mouthing? F— if I know. Probably something about the weather or a shopping list.” The power wasn’t in the words, but in the spectacle. It’s the ultimate placebo: if they believe you’re dangerous, you don’t need any spells—just a killer Kubrick stare and a bit of boldness.
Other Redditors chimed in with their own hex-adjacent escapades. u/Msmellow420 shared how she got a flaky houseguest to pay up by pouring black salt in his slippers and threatening to “make him walk a life of hell” if he didn’t cough up the cash—money arrived within minutes. As she put it, “He called me the devil. I told him he can call me what he wants, but let it be known if I didn’t get the money I was burning them shits in the fire pit!!” Sometimes, the true spell is just good old-fashioned intimidation.
Why “Witch” Is the Best Reputation to Have
There’s a deeper current running through the laughter: for many women, being labeled “crazy” or “witchy” isn’t an insult, but a shield. As u/KindaKrayz222 put it, “I always like to take the crazy lady road. It's kept me outta harm's way. So far...” Others pointed out the historical context: u/cleon80 mused, “Makes you think if those crazy witches in history apparently are just women who stood up to men.” The OP agreed, and u/anikah- added, “It was mostly women who were smarter than men, and men couldn’t believe that was possible, so they had to be witches.”
From Monty Python references (“A witch! A witch!”) to practical advice on using psychological tricks as a defense mechanism, the thread became a celebration of cleverness, resilience, and the occasional bit of pettiness that makes life just a little more interesting.
Conclusion: Revenge Is a Dish Best Served with a Side-Eye
In the end, OP’s “curse” wasn’t a supernatural force, but a masterstroke in understanding human psychology. When you play into someone’s deepest fears—with nothing more than a look and a little confidence—you might just topple the biggest bully in the room.
So, next time someone underestimates you, remember: the real magic is knowing how to make them believe. Have your own stories of petty revenge or psychological warfare? Share your “witchiest” moments in the comments below—because sometimes, the best way to fight back is with a little mischievous imagination.
Ready your Kubrick stares, and may your shopping lists always sound like ancient spells.
Original Reddit Post: curses are as real as you think they are, matthew