How a Marine Outwitted a Power-Tripping MP—And Taught a Lesson in Petty Revenge
Picture this: It’s the 1980s. The moon is high, the base is quiet, and a Marine is just trying to drive home without getting blinded. Suddenly, a white truck blasts up behind him, bathing his rearview in enough light to interrogate a spy. Within minutes, that blinding light turns into flashing police lamps, and our hero—let’s call him Dad—is pulled over by a military police officer determined to ruin his night. But as you’ll soon see, this wasn’t just another tale of bad luck and bureaucracy. This was the origin story of some truly delicious, Marine-grade petty revenge.
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix a stubborn MP, a seasoned Marine range coach, and a generous helping of karma, buckle up—because this story is about to fire on all cylinders.
The Night of the Blinding Truck: When MPs Attack
According to u/Alert_Attention_5905, Dad’s late-night cruise took a sharp turn when a white truck, headlights blazing, started riding his bumper like a remora on a shark. “For five minutes, I couldn't even see his grill,” Dad recounted. Who wouldn’t nudge the gas to escape that retina-searing harassment?
But tailgating wasn’t the endgame. The white truck turned out to be a Lance Corporal Military Police officer (or “Lance MP” for short), who promptly lit him up for speeding—the very behavior the MP’s aggressive driving had caused. When backup arrived in the form of a higher-ranking Corporal MP, Dad explained the situation. Thus began a classic Marine standoff: the junior MP insisted on a ticket, while the corporal, siding with reason, refused. After a heated five-minute argument (a lifetime in military protocol), Dad was allowed to go, ticket-free.
Commenters like u/CoderJoe1 summed up the Lance MP’s brilliance: “Lance MP wasn’t very bright.” OP [u/Alert_Attention_5905] dryly replied, “He was perfect for the Marine Corps.” This set off a hilarious wave of Marine jokes, including the time-honored “Marines: Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential,” courtesy of u/SPerry8519, and the ever-popular crayon-eating memes. Clearly, the community had seen a few Lance MPs in their own time.
Revenge Served at 500 Yards: The Range Coach’s Karma
Fast-forward a few months. Dad’s on the shooting range, doing his usual coach duties—making sure every Marine qualifies safely. Who should show up needing to qualify that day? You guessed it: Lance MP.
Dad, sensing an opportunity for some poetic discipline, swapped coaching assignments to oversee his nemesis. When Dad asked if Lance remembered him, the answer came with a sheepish nod. Dad didn’t mince words: “You have one fucking time, one fucking tiny mistake and your ass is done.”
It was a tense, sweat-soaked qualification. Lance MP shot well, but at the end, he committed a cardinal sin: closing his rifle’s chamber before his coach (Dad) could inspect it—a clear safety violation. That was all Dad needed. “Get the fuck off my range!” he barked. Lance MP was disqualified, and, as OP noted, probably faced some serious trouble with his command.
The Reddit crowd ate it up. As u/BrassCityNikki pointed out, the MP actually “committed a safety violation on the range and walked off from it, unlike Dad who was basically entrapped into speeding.” Sweet, justified revenge.
Speeding Tickets in the Corps: More Than a Slap on the Wrist
For those unfamiliar with military life, a speeding ticket isn’t just a minor inconvenience. As OP explained, “If my dad had gotten that ticket, he would have been in far more trouble than Lance MP for unqualifying.” One follow-up edit clarified that a single speeding ticket halted OP’s own promotion for over a year. On base, traffic violations are a big deal—sometimes bigger than they deserve to be.
Commenters flooded the thread with tales of overzealous MPs and arbitrary ticketing. u/Marmmoth reminisced about getting tagged for a measly 5 kph over the limit by an MP eager to use a new radar gun. Meanwhile, u/Infinite-Land-232 described a courtroom showdown where a speeding ticket was dismissed thanks to expert testimony about acceleration curves—proving that sometimes, nerds win the day.
It wasn’t all laughs, though. Many, like u/Ok-Day4899, remembered that “everyone in the service hates military cops, I mean everyone. Just the biggest group of self important dickheads…” Others, like u/ForwardPromise9974, added that even civilians working on base weren’t safe from relentless MP ticketing and lost driving privileges.
Power, Petty Revenge, and the (Not So) Thin Green Line
What really resonated with readers was the theme of unchecked authority—and the rare, satisfying moments when karma strikes back. Many, like u/Striker2054, were amazed the Lance MP would argue with a superior in public, risking far more than a routine traffic stop. “Arguing with a superior, even one so close in rank. That Marine has no brain,” they noted, echoed by many others riffing on Marine stereotypes and the infamous “Lance gods.”
And, as u/Guinnessman1964 cynically mused, “That Lance is probably now a cop in the public who probably has a hot head dealing with the public. I can only imagine him in a cruiser tailgating someone then pulling them over.” The cycle, it seems, is hard to break.
But petty revenge isn’t just about payback. Sometimes, as Dad’s story shows, it’s about restoring balance—teaching those who abuse their power that, eventually, the range coach comes for everyone.
Conclusion: Share Your Own Military (or Petty Revenge) Tales!
So, the next time you’re tailgated by someone with a badge—or a bossy junior officer with something to prove—remember Dad’s story. Sometimes, the universe gives you a chance to even the score, and if you’re lucky, you might just get to serve up some justice—one safety violation at a time.
Got your own tales of military shenanigans, overzealous authority, or deliciously petty payback? Drop them in the comments. After all, as the Marines say, the tip of the spear can be dull—but the stories are always sharp.
Original Reddit Post: A Marine military police tried to wrongfully give my dad a speeding ticket, but my dad got his revenge.