How I Outsmarted My 'Pick Me' Bestie With One Petty, Perfect Lie

If you’ve ever worked in a bustling restaurant, you know that the real action doesn’t just happen on the floor—it happens in the drama-filled social circles behind the scenes. Between the after-shift drinks, spontaneous work parties, and “wait, they hooked up?” revelations, the restaurant world is a soap opera with a side of fries. But nothing spices things up quite like a classic “pick me” friend—the one who turns every crush into a competition.

Our story today, sourced from the r/PettyRevenge subreddit, is a masterclass in fighting back against that friend who just can’t help but chase after any guy you mention. If you’ve ever had a “bestie” who treats your interests as a shopping list, grab your popcorn. This one’s for you.

Meet the "Pick Me" Bestie

Let’s rewind to 2014-ish, in a busy two-story restaurant where camaraderie is high, but boundaries are blurry. Our narrator (let’s call her Honey) makes fast friends with a co-worker who soon morphs from after-work drinking buddy to full-on bestie. But as friendships bloom, so too does an annoying pattern: every time Honey expresses interest in a guy—at work, at a bar, anywhere—her friend swoops in like it’s Black Friday at the Boyfriend Store.

Worse yet, while Honey respectfully steers clear of her friend’s crushes, the favor is never returned. It’s as if her opinions are whispered into a void, only to echo back as someone else’s conquest. Sound familiar? You might be dealing with a “pick me” friend: someone who thrives on validation from men, often at the expense of their own friends’ feelings.

Plotting the Petty Revenge

One day, Honey has a revelation: what if she could use her friend’s predictable behavior to her advantage? Enter Sam: a notorious “player” with a reputation for cheating and a line of admirers longer than most dinner rushes. Sam once tried his luck with Honey, but she wasn’t interested—something Sam did not take well. He’s the kind of guy you warn your friends about, not the kind you bring home to meet mom.

So Honey hatches her plan. She tells her bestie, with feigned enthusiasm, “Sam’s so hot, I want to make out with him.” She knows exactly what will happen next. And lo and behold, within days, her friend hooks up with Sam—in his car, no less. The next day, her friend can’t stop complaining about how bad the experience was. Mission accomplished.

Why This Revenge Worked So Well

There’s something deliciously satisfying about watching a “pick me” friend fall into a trap of their own making. Honey’s move isn’t just petty—it’s poetic. By spinning a harmless lie, she turns her friend’s competitive streak against her, all while steering clear of any real emotional fallout. Sam gets what’s coming to him, the friend gets a reality check, and Honey gets to keep her dignity (and her sense of humor) intact.

But let’s be real: this isn’t just about one hookup gone wrong. It’s about boundaries—and the subtle ways we test, enforce, or (if you’re Honey’s friend) ignore them. While there’s a certain thrill in a little petty revenge, hopefully, it sparks a bigger conversation about respecting your friends’ feelings and not treating every crush like a golden ticket.

Lessons From the Restaurant Soap Opera

So, what can we learn from Honey’s tale of pick-me pettiness?

  1. Spot the Signs: If your friend suddenly develops a crush on every guy you mention, it might not be a coincidence.
  2. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to call out this behavior. Sometimes, honesty is the best defense against a serial pick-me.
  3. Get Creative (But Not Cruel): If you must go the revenge route, keep it harmless and funny. No hearts were broken in the making of this story—just a little pride.
  4. Value Real Friendship: A true friend won’t treat you like competition. If you find yourself constantly playing defense, maybe it’s time to recruit a new drinking buddy.

What’s the Pettiest Revenge You’ve Ever Pulled?

Everyone loves a little harmless payback—especially when it comes with a side of poetic justice. Have you ever had to outwit a “pick me” friend? Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of some creative revenge? Share your stories in the comments below. After all, the best tales are the ones we live to tell (and laugh about) later.

Let the games—and the gossip—begin!

Original Reddit Post: I lied to -pick me- friend as well