How One Bored Jobseeker Became Every Car Salesman’s Worst Nightmare
Let’s face it: buying a car is right up there with root canals and tax audits on the list of “Things We’d Rather Avoid.” But what happens when someone, armed with nothing but free time and a taste for petty vengeance, decides to flip the script on car dealerships everywhere? Enter u/MaxHappiness, a Redditor who turned the tables on the auto industry’s shadiest tactics—in the most delightfully mischievous way imaginable.
Strap in, because this story isn’t about negotiating a good deal. It’s about weaponizing boredom and giving car salesmen (and their frenemies in finance) a taste of their own medicine. If you've ever left a dealership feeling slimy and swindled, you’re going to want to read on.
The Art of Petty Revenge: Weaponizing Free Time
It all began during a particularly bleak winter, when our hero found himself between jobs and, as he puts it, “bored, petty, and with time on my hands.” For most of us, that’s an excuse to binge-watch Netflix or rearrange sock drawers. But for MaxHappiness, it was the perfect storm for some low-stakes, high-entertainment revenge.
His target? The local car dealership—more specifically, the cluster of salesmen and finance managers who make every dealership experience feel like a cross between a poker game and a hostage negotiation.
The Master Plan: A Test Drive Down Petty Lane
Here’s how the operation went down, once a week, all winter long:
- Walk in on a quiet weekday—when salesmen are bored enough to pounce like hungry wolves at the sight of a customer.
- Chat up a salesman, test drive a car, and get a trade-in estimate—playing the classic “serious buyer” role.
- Make an offer, proceed to the finance office, and whip out a used-up prepaid credit card for the deposit. (Pro tip: the finance guy handles deposits, so the card’s uselessness stays hidden until the last moment.)
- Argue furiously about bogus “add-on” fees—the mysterious charges that magically appear on every car purchase.
- After 10-15 minutes of escalating chaos with sales, finance, and management, deliver the pièce de résistance: “F@ck you and your deal!” before strutting out, leaving behind a trail of confusion, dashed commissions, and interdepartmental warfare.
The Hidden Drama: Sales vs. Finance
What MaxHappiness discovered—and gleefully exploited—is the simmering rivalry between salespeople and finance managers. See, every car deal is a delicate dance of egos and incentives. Sales staff want to close deals (and get their commission), while finance folks are hungry for add-ons and markups.
By nuking the deal at the last possible moment and loudly blaming the finance guy, our hero managed to sow discord in the ranks. Salesmen would storm the finance office, demanding to know why their sure-thing sale just vaporized. All over a few hundred bucks in “fees.”
It’s the dealership equivalent of slipping a stink bomb into the staff meeting.
Why Is This So Satisfying?
Let’s be real: Car dealerships are notorious for leaving customers feeling manipulated, frustrated, and financially bruised. For every honest salesperson, there are a dozen who will try to sneak in a “documentation fee,” “paint protection,” or “lifetime blinker fluid” surcharge.
Most of us just grit our teeth and try to survive the ordeal. But MaxHappiness decided to fight fire with fire, bringing a little chaos to the very people who make car buying so infuriating for the rest of us.
Is This Petty? Absolutely. Is It Brilliant? Also Yes.
Could you argue that this is a waste of everyone’s time? Maybe. But in a world where customers are routinely nickel-and-dimed, there’s something cathartic about throwing a little sand in the gears of the machine. Besides, those salesmen probably had a better story to tell at the bar that night—assuming they weren’t still yelling at their finance manager.
Your Turn: Have You Ever Gotten Petty Revenge?
So, what do you think? Is this harmless fun or just another layer of dealership misery? Have you ever found yourself on the giving (or receiving) end of petty revenge? Drop your stories in the comments below—because sometimes, the best justice is just a little bit petty.
Have your own revenge fantasy you’d love to see played out? Or maybe you’re a car salesperson with war stories from the other side of the desk. Either way, we want to hear from you. And remember: The next time you’re feeling bored, you might just be one “test drive” away from a legendary story of your own.
Original Reddit Post: Bored, Petty, and Time on My Hands - Bad Combination