How One Employee Became Full of “Rich Man’s Nut” to Thwart Their Snack-Stealing Boss
There are a few universal truths in office life: the printer will always jam when you’re stressed, there’s never enough coffee, and the best snacks will mysteriously disappear before you get a chance to enjoy them. But what happens when the snack thief isn’t your cubicle neighbor, but the company’s own VP—someone who could buy their weight in pistachios but insists on raiding your department’s meager stash?
This holiday season, one Redditor decided enough was enough. When their boss kept swooping in to snag the “rich man’s nuts” (aka pistachios) from the gift basket that their underappreciated department had finally scored, they executed a plan so petty, so hilarious, and so relatable, that thousands of people online couldn’t help but cheer them on.
Let’s set the scene: It’s the holidays, and like many companies, this one is flush with client gift baskets—crackers, sweets, nuts, and other goodies meant to boost morale. Except, as our hero (u/Fresh_Nectarine_867) explains, their department is usually last in line for these treats. So when a couple of baskets finally appear, they’re not just snacks—they’re a rare reward.
Enter the VP. This isn’t some friendly office drop-in; this is a man who, according to the post, “makes 5 times what I do,” didn’t back the team during raise negotiations, and yet, has no qualms about raiding their stash. Not only did he open a new basket, he went straight for the pistachios—declaring with astonishing self-awareness, “I love the rich man’s nut.” One can only imagine the collective eye-roll.
But the line had been crossed. As the OP put it, “This cannot continue.” And so, they did what any self-respecting, underappreciated employee would do in the face of snack injustice: they ate every last pistachio themselves. Even though they didn’t particularly like pistachios. Even though their body “doesn’t feel good,” their pride was intact. As they proudly declared, “I am full of rich man nut, while he cannot take any more.”
Reddit, naturally, went wild. The post racked up over 17,000 upvotes and more than 500 comments, with a tidal wave of support, laughter, and advice pouring in.
Some users, like u/LenaeaStone, admitted the revenge was a bit wasteful (“you could have taken them to someone who would enjoy them”), but still approved, calling out the boss’s jerk behavior. Others, like u/PurplePufferPea, reminisced about their own snack-hiding strategies—stuffing the good treats in drawers and leaving the “crap” out for the office vultures. Unfortunately, as OP revealed, “Bro thats the [messed] thing, we hid them twice and he still found it and ate our stuff.” This was no ordinary snack thief—this was a man on a mission for rich man’s nuts.
The thread took an especially hilarious turn as commenters riffed on the phrase “rich man’s nut.” u/newtonbase asked, incredulously, “You are full of rich man's nut?” to which OP responded, “Im so full of rich mans nut i might burst.” This opened the floodgates for nutty innuendos and puns, with users joking about “climaxes,” “money shots,” and even suggesting that OP was now ready to be dipped in chocolate and sold as a luxury Dubai treat (thanks, u/shroomigator).
Of course, the community had plenty of suggestions for next-level revenge. Some advocated for decoy snacks (“Decoy snacks. Genius,” praised u/WayCalm2854), while others shared their own tales of office snack warfare—like the department that forged thank-you notes to fend off greedy managers (shout-out to u/Houston970’s epic snow globe saga: “So if she happens to be reading this, suck it Joan!”). There were also more extreme suggestions, ranging from hiding the pistachios in vinegar to leaving only the shells behind, or—perhaps most diabolical—making brownies laced with laxatives (a strategy that, according to u/apecrap1, worked wonders).
Yet, not everyone was convinced the plan would make a difference. As u/KINGCOCO pointed out, “You do realize your protest is not even going to register with him right?” To which another commenter, u/ALaRequest, reminded everyone, “This is /r/pettyrevenge, not /r/effectiverevenge.” Sometimes, the satisfaction comes not from changing the world, but from knowing you’ve thwarted the snack bandit, even if only for a day.
Perhaps the best part of this saga is how it tapped into a deep well of workplace solidarity. From jokes about the “wealth differential” to people reminiscing about the urban legends of their youth (who else heard the one about celebrities needing their stomachs pumped for being “full of rich man’s nut”?), the thread became a celebration of shared struggles, petty victories, and the unbreakable camaraderie forged in the trenches of office life.
In the end, was this the most effective revenge? Maybe not. Could those pistachios have been better enjoyed by someone who actually likes them? Possibly. But as OP sat at their desk, stuffed to the gills with “rich man’s nut,” they had achieved something truly special: a moment of delicious, nut-fueled triumph over workplace injustice.
So next time your boss eyes your snacks a little too hungrily, remember this tale—and maybe keep a sleeve of decoy peanuts handy. Or, as u/Crossbell0527 so poetically put it: “Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, I eat the rich man nuts on company time.”
What’s your best story of workplace snack warfare or petty revenge? Share your tales below—preferably with as many nut puns as possible.
Original Reddit Post: I ate a bag of 'rich mans nut' so my boss would stop coming into my office and eating the 'rich mans nuts'