How One Office 'Sparrow' Made Weight-Shaming Awkward Enough to Stop—for Good
Let’s face it: office banter can sometimes go from playful to just plain awkward—especially when it’s about someone’s body. But what happens when the target of the “jokes” decides to flip the script, and does it with such deadpan finesse that the jokester is left speechless? Grab your popcorn, because this isn’t just a story of petty revenge—it’s a masterclass in making workplace bullies squirm, courtesy of a viral Reddit post.
Meet u/Spiky_Pineapple_2841, a self-proclaimed “chill scarecrow” whose high metabolism and slender frame have made him the butt of his boss’s “sparrow” jokes. But when the boss pushed one jab too many, our hero responded in a way that was so subtle, so perfectly awkward, that the entire office dynamic shifted—and the internet took notice.
The "Sparrow" and the High Septon: When Work Banter Crosses the Line
Our story unfolds in an all-male office where u/Spiky_Pineapple_2841, 36, stands tall at 185 cm but weighs only 70 kg. He’s healthy, happy, and has a metabolism most of us would trade a desk lunch for. But his boss—dubbed the “High Septon” in a nod to Game of Thrones—couldn’t resist making repeated, not-so-subtle jokes about his build. The nickname “sparrow” (read: skinny, frail) was the recurring punchline.
While the OP brushed off the teasing, he couldn’t help but wonder: what about coworkers who might not have such thick skin? As one top commenter, u/Capable_Barracuda818, pointed out, “A nice, subtle way of shutting him up without outrightly confronting or insulting him. Well played!” It’s a reminder that not everyone in the office has the resilience to just laugh it off.
The Deadpan Diet: Turning Teasing Into Tension
The tipping point? A lunchroom conversation where the boss, ever the comedian, asked, “So, are you gonna eat today, Sparrow?” Instead of rolling his eyes, OP delivered the ultimate plot twist: “Nah, I’m on a diet, trying to lose weight. Been feeling kinda bloated lately—I wanna lose like 10 kg.”
Cue stunned silence. The boss sputtered, “B-but...you can’t do that!” The reply? A casual shrug and a return to work. The effect was instantaneous: the High Septon was rendered mute, avoided OP for the rest of the day, and—best of all—stopped the weight comments altogether.
Redditors loved the move. As u/cosmic_miette summed up, “That’s the best kind of comeback. Calm, straight face, no insults. Just enough to make him rethink making comments about someone’s body in the first place.” Others chimed in with suggestions for even more awkward responses (some dark, some hilarious), but the community consensus was clear: sometimes, leaning into the absurdity is the most powerful way to shut down body-shaming.
Skinny Shaming: Why It’s Still a Problem (And How to Fight It)
The post touched a nerve for many. As u/Ecstatic-Letter-5949 lamented, “Funny how fat shaming is wrong (and it is), but people think it’s OK to ‘skinny shame.’” Stories poured in from readers who’d endured everything from “matchstick” jibes to unsolicited diagnoses of eating disorders—all for being naturally thin.
This double standard even extends to the workplace, where, as u/JeffTheNth pointed out, “All different reasons someone might be lighter... should raise concerns, not a lark to laugh at.” The post inspired a broader discussion on why commenting on anyone’s body—no matter their size—is not just rude, but potentially harmful. As the OP himself reflected, “What about the possible coworker who is sick, has an ED, or something else that would end up in the crossfire of his stupid ‘jokes’?”
Some commenters advocated for formal action—“Throw this asshole under the bus!” urged u/Ok_Development_495—while others, like u/salty_z0mbie, championed the tactic of “leaning into their stupidity with even more extreme stupidity.” The consensus? Whether you go to HR or get creative with your responses, you have every right to defend your boundaries—and help create a safer workplace for everyone.
Community Wisdom: Humor, Empathy, and the Power of Petty Revenge
Reddit’s collective wisdom didn’t stop at applause. Users shared their own stories, ranging from the witty (“I love being skinny. I worked hard for it.”) to the supportive (“Glad you beat it and you are here 💕” to a survivor of cancer-related weight loss). The OP’s willingness to consider HR and self-advocate, while also keeping things light, hit the sweet spot for many: as u/Dakduif noted, “Safe places are important and that usually starts with (politely) calling out bullshit. One way or the other.”
Perhaps the best takeaway comes from the OP’s edit: “You are all fantastic beings, and you never need to justify your body, shape, form or other part of your existence—to anyone! Never forget that.” Whether you’re a “sparrow,” a “greyhound,” or a “Shetland Pony” (hat tip to u/Dramatic_Mixture_877 for that gem), your worth isn’t defined by your weight—or your boss’s sense of humor.
Conclusion: Awkwardness as a Superpower
So, next time someone tries to make you the punchline of their tired body jokes, remember: you don’t have to play along. Sometimes, the most effective revenge is to make it so awkward that they can’t help but reflect on their own behavior. As this story proves—and as the Reddit community so passionately agrees—a little deadpan wit can go a long way in restoring dignity, diffusing bullies, and maybe even inspiring a few laughs along the way.
Have you ever had to shut down workplace body-shaming? Do you have your own story of petty (or not-so-petty) revenge? Share your experiences in the comments—let’s keep the conversation going, and the awkwardness working in our favor!
Original Reddit Post: Ask me about my weight? Let's make it awkward.