How One “Senile” Hero Outsmarted Persistent Medicare Scammers (and Had a Blast Doing It)
If you’ve ever been tormented by the relentless ring of scam calls—especially those infamous “Medicare” pitch artists—you’re not alone. For many of us, the phone has become less a tool of connection and more a battleground, where spoofed numbers and overzealous callers test our patience daily. But what if instead of hanging up or blocking, you fought back with a little… creative chaos?
Meet u/CanadianDeathMetal, a Redditor who decided enough was enough—and chose to wage psychological warfare against his Medicare scam tormentors. His weapon of choice? The art of becoming the most delightfully senile, confusing, and infuriating “old man” a scammer could ever hope to meet.
The Scam Call Gauntlet: Why We’re All Fed Up
Let’s face it: scam calls have become a plague. No matter how many times you block them, report them, or ignore them, they seem to multiply like rabbits (evil, phone-wielding rabbits). Medicare scams are especially pernicious because they prey on vulnerable seniors, using fear and confusion as their favorite tools.
Typical calls go something like this: “Hello, I’m calling about your Medicare benefits. Did you know you qualify for a free back brace/rainbow unicorn/retirement yacht, all covered by Medicare? Just give me your Medicare number and Social Security, and we’ll get it shipped today!” If you’ve got a pulse and a phone, you’ve probably heard some variant of this, often delivered in a suspiciously unconvincing American accent.
The Petty Revenge Playbook: Confusion Is Key
But u/CanadianDeathMetal flipped the script. Instead of hanging up or getting angry, he decided to become the most challenging mark possible. When a scammer called to pitch a “flexible back brace,” he didn’t just play along—he played up. Every question about his Medicare number was met with the 1-800-MEDICARE customer service line, recited with all the seriousness of a goldfish reading Shakespeare. When pressed for the “letters” in his ID, he continued to spell out the phone number with dogged persistence.
The scammer, expecting an easy mark, quickly found herself in a bureaucratic Bermuda Triangle. When she finally asked for his Social Security number, our hero doubled down, offering her the Social Security Administration’s 800 number instead—and suggesting maybe she should call them! As the minutes ticked by, the scammer’s frustration grew palpable, and our senile alter-ego began accusing her of “playing games” and even called her a “stupid weevil” (a criminally underused insult, if you ask me).
After nearly 20 minutes of this verbal merry-go-round, the scammer—probably on the verge of a headset-flinging meltdown—finally hung up. Victory was sweet, if a little petty, and possibly earned our hero a spot on the scammer’s own personal blacklist.
Why This Works: Wasting Scammers’ Time Is a Win
There’s a certain poetic justice in giving scammers a taste of their own medicine. Every minute you waste of theirs is a minute they can’t spend targeting someone more vulnerable. Sure, most of us don’t have the time (or patience) to string along every scammer, but even a few moments of confusion can slow their operation.
Plus, let’s be honest: there’s something cathartic about turning the tables. We’re so often told to simply hang up, block, and move on. But a little mischief—delivered safely, with no personal information divulged—can bring a smile to your face and maybe even make the scammers think twice next time they dial your number.
A Word of Caution: Stay Safe
While it’s tempting to go full performance artist on scam callers, remember: never give out real personal information. Not your Medicare number, not your Social Security, not your “mother’s maiden name.” Keep your guard up and your answers ridiculous.
And if you ever get tired of playing the senile old man, know that reporting scam numbers to the FTC or your phone carrier actually does help (if only a little).
Join the Battle—What’s Your Scam Call Defense?
Have you ever strung along a scam caller or pulled off a prank that left them speechless? Or do you have a go-to fake accent, character, or routine? Share your stories in the comments below—let’s turn the tables together, one “stupid weevil” at a time!
And if you’re reading this, u/CanadianDeathMetal, thanks for giving us all a new weapon in the ongoing war against phone scammers. May your phone ring less, and your revenge always be this sweet.
Original Reddit Post: Revenge against annoying Medicare scammers!