How Outsmarting a Zealous Mother-in-Law Ended Decades of Forced Church Visits
Picture this: you’re visiting your in-laws for a weekend of “quality family time,” but instead of pancakes and bonding, you’re strong-armed into attending not one, but two intense church services—plus a midweek encore. For one Redditor, u/parodytx, this wasn’t just a hypothetical; it was his reality. But instead of folding, he wielded logic like a sword, turning the tables on his overbearing mother-in-law (MIL) in a showdown that has Redditors both howling with laughter and slow-clapping in admiration.
It’s a tale of family, faith, and the art of not only keeping the peace, but making sure you’re not the sacrificial lamb at Sunday service. If you’ve ever felt cornered by a relative’s “my house, my rules” routine, you’ll want to read on—because sometimes, the best revenge is served rational.
“My House, My Rules” Gets a Heavenly Plot Twist
When u/parodytx first attended his future in-laws’ evangelical church, he knew he’d stumbled onto a spiritual minefield. Congregants publicly confessed their sins, including one man whose marital woes boiled down to his wife… enjoying sex. “The elders told him she was ‘wanton’ so he decided to divorce her over it,” OP recounted. “That was enough for me that I swore never to go back.” As one commenter, u/mark_likes_tabletop, joked, “Sounds like it might have been worth going, standing up, and confessing your wife liked sex also.” Others riffed, imagining confessions so spicy they’d need to bless a butt-plug “filled with the spirit.”
But the real drama began back at the in-laws’ home, where MIL insisted that, under her roof, everyone—regardless of denomination—must attend her church. “I said ‘No thank you, I am not of your faith but have a good service yourselves,’” OP recalled. MIL wasn’t having it. Cue the classic “just keep the peace” plea from OP’s wife and the kind of family standoff that could make a Thanksgiving dinner go nuclear.
That’s when OP had his holy epiphany: “I absolutely agreed with her position… BUT, because it was so correct and proper, now in the future when SHE came to visit us in MY home, ALL OF US would attend MY church of MY faith.” For MIL, a devout evangelical, the thought of attending a Catholic service was apparently worse than missing out on grandkid time. “She sputtered and deflected,” OP wrote, but with the grandkids as leverage, she folded faster than a parish bulletin.
The Community Reacts: Swordplay, Snark, and Scripture
Redditors were quick to pick up on the delicious irony of the “double-edged sword” at play. “They get grandkids but also get reminded they can’t run the show,” u/TrashBeetleSs observed, while u/penster1 waded into the classic “literally vs. figuratively” debate (because, of course, it’s Reddit).
Others saw opportunity for even pettier revenge. “Should have pulled out 1 Timothy 2:12—‘I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet,’” quipped u/justmitzie, imagining the chaos of quoting scripture at a zealot on her home turf. The hypothetical confessions only got wilder from there, with users like u/Baguetele dreaming up tales that would have MIL running for the nearest exorcist.
But underneath the jokes, many saw a lesson in boundary-setting and the importance of standing up to family bullies. “A good way to stop a bully is to stand up to them,” noted u/AdPotential1705, while others, like u/badchefrazzy, warned that narcissistic types often double down. OP clarified that, in his case, MIL quickly learned he was “not to be gainsaid,” recounting another instance where he laid down the law about interfering with his parenting.
Hypocrisy, History, and the Holy “Shut Up”
The debate didn’t stop at family dynamics. As the thread unfolded, commenters dove into the finer points of religious cherry-picking—why certain denominations ban musical instruments, pants, or even fun. “Her answer was ‘the Bible says that "they raised their voices in song" but said nothing about musical instruments, so they are not allowed in our church,’” OP recalled. He countered with a zinger: “The Bible said nothing about air conditioning or electric lights but they had THOSE in their church.” (Her response: “Shut up OP.”)
Others, like u/UptownLurker, pointed out that the Bible actually does mention praising God with instruments: “Psaltry, harp, trumpet, and drums.” The conversation drifted into church history—how Protestants got their name, the pick-and-mix approach to Old vs. New Testament rules, and more. “Because the old testament has all the stuff that allows them to judge/control others,” explained u/justmitzie, while u/MNConcerto shared the joys (and eye rolls) of a Catholic school education.
When Logic Wins (and Family Survives)
In the end, OP’s logic prevailed—not just once, but for years to come. Even the father-in-law had to tip his hat: “I had been the only SIL to EVER stand up to her.” The rest of the family? They hid their booze and weed at the neighbor’s house.
This isn’t just a story about religious differences or petty revenge; it’s about the power of boundaries, the art of the comeback, and the importance of standing your ground—even when the opposition claims divine right. As u/Minflick put it, “It takes strength to stand up for your religious beliefs (or the lack thereof)… I’m impressed as hell.”
So the next time someone tries to enforce “my house, my rules,” remember: sometimes the best counter-argument is to hold up a mirror—and maybe threaten a swap of Sunday obligations.
Have you ever had to stand your ground with a pushy relative? How did it go? Share your story—or your best petty revenge—in the comments!
Original Reddit Post: MIL tried to force me to attend their church services - I responded with logic instead