Kevin vs. Adulting: The Autopay Catastrophe That Was Supposed to Fix Everything
Adulting. It’s that mythical realm where bills are paid on time, credit is built responsibly, and you feel like you actually have your life together. For most of us, it’s a slow climb up a mountain of paperwork and reminders. For my friend Kevin, however, it was more like running up the mountain blindfolded—tripping, falling, and somehow setting off fireworks along the way.
Let me introduce you to Kevin, a man on a mission to be “responsible” with money. Only, as you’ll see, his journey into financial adulthood went off the rails in the most Kevin way possible. Grab your popcorn, because you can’t make this stuff up.
The Autopay “Solution” (Or How Kevin Tried to Outsmart Adulting)
So, Kevin recently decided to make 2024 his year of “getting it together.” He got a new job, moved into his own place, and declared—over pizza and sodas—that he was “working on his credit.” We all cheered him on, because let’s be real, most of us have stumbled through our own awkward attempts at adulting.
But when Kevin says, “I think I messed something up but I’m not sure,” you know the wheels are about to come off.
Turns out, his big plan for financial responsibility was to set every single bill he had to autopay. Rent? Check. Utilities? Check. Phone? Check. Credit card? You bet. In Kevin’s mind, automation was the same as problem solved. Set it and forget it, right?
Not quite.
When Automation Attacks
Kevin, in his infinite optimism, didn’t bother to check dates, balances, or even if he had enough in his account to cover everything at once. So, naturally, all his bills decided to have a party on the same day—rent, utilities, phone, credit card, all marching out of his checking account like lemmings over a cliff.
The problem? Kevin did not have enough funds to host such a grand exodus. His bank, less than amused, rejected half the payments—including a crucial credit card payment. Kevin’s phone pinged with a “missed payment” alert, and he went into full panic mode.
In a move only Kevin would attempt, he called the bank and asked if they could “un-miss it” because, after all, it was just an accident. The bank, of course, said no.
“I’m Being Responsible! I Don’t Even Use My Credit Card!”
As Kevin’s friends, we tried to talk him off the ledge. He kept saying, “But I’m being responsible! I don’t even use my credit card anymore. I’ve been putting everything on my debit card.” When I asked which debit card, he shrugged: “The blue one? The one that says something about credit on the app. I think it builds credit. Maybe.”
Kevin didn’t know. He hadn’t read the app. He just figured missed payments didn’t count if you didn’t mean to miss them. In his words: “They should have a button for that.”
Adulting: More Than Just Pushing Buttons
We eventually sat him down, untangled the autopay mess, and gave him a crash course in the “basics of not accidentally making your bank hate you.” Autopay is a great tool—for people who know how much money they have and when their bills are due. For Kevin, it was like giving a toddler the keys to a Tesla.
This is a classic case of “well-intentioned, poorly executed.” Kevin wanted to do the right thing, but he skipped the fine print—and the basic math. Automation isn’t a magic fix; it’s a tool that works best when you know what you’re automating.
Lessons from Kevin’s Chaos
Kevin’s story is hilarious, but also super relatable. How many of us have tried to simplify our lives with a new app, only to make things worse? Here are some takeaways (so you don’t pull a Kevin):
- Check your payment dates and make sure you’ve got enough cash in your account.
- Understand what each card does before you use it—debit and credit are not the same.
- Missed payments count, even if they’re “accidents.”
- Read the fine print, or at least ask a financially savvy friend for help.
Could Kevin Accidentally Buy a House Next?
After we helped Kevin fix his autopay settings, we joked that he’s just one step away from accidentally buying a house. With his luck, he’d probably do it with the wrong card and ask the bank to “un-house” him.
But hey, that’s the adventure (and misadventure) of growing up. If you’ve ever stumbled through “adulting” like Kevin, share your own stories in the comments. Let’s laugh, learn, and maybe remind ourselves to read the app before we click “autopay.”
What’s your funniest financial mishap? Drop it below and let’s commiserate!
Original Reddit Post: Kevin thought he was being “responsible” with money… it did not go how he planned