McVengeance Happy Meal: The Hilarious Tale of Petty Justice Served with Nuggets and a Side of Payback
There are a few universal truths in life: sibling rivalries are eternal, McDonald’s fries are best enjoyed hot, and nothing tastes quite as sweet as petty revenge. In a story that has the r/PettyRevenge community both howling with laughter and nodding in solidarity, one user (u/Jack-mclaughlin89) recounts the legendary day he stole his cousin’s Happy Meal as payback for a toe-crushing betrayal. The result? A McVengeance feast that would make even the Hamburglar proud.
Hide and Seek, Toes, and the Birth of a Nemesis
It all began innocently enough: a childhood game of hide and seek at Aunt Emma’s house. Our protagonist, young Jack, chose his hiding spot with the strategic cunning of a seasoned pro—behind the living room curtains. But even the best-laid plans can go awry, especially when faced with a cousin like Gwen, who, upon finding Jack’s foot peeking out, decided to stomp on it “for laughs.” As Jack hopped in pain, Gwen cackled, and her friend looked on in shock—the seeds of revenge were sown.
The pain wasn’t just physical; it was existential. As u/bigbigdummie so aptly put it, “What’s better than free food? Stolen!” Jack’s injury was the catalyst for a plot that would soon unfold with all the delicious drama of a reality TV finale—if that finale were catered by McDonald’s.
The Golden Arches Nemesis: A Plan is Hatched
When Aunt Emma announced the arrival of McDonald’s, priorities shifted instantly (as they do when French fries enter the scene). While Gwen gabbed with her friend, nibbling idly on a few fries, Jack devoured his own meal, all the while watching Gwen’s untouched nuggets and McFlurry with a growing sense of opportunity.
Then, inspiration struck: “I said it’s her turn to hide and that I’d find her so she said ‘you’re on’ and hid with her friend and she let her McDonald’s behind,” Jack explains. With Gwen safely hidden away and counting on her meal waiting for her, Jack turned into what one commenter, u/Botchedlobotmy, christened: “the Hamburglar.” Nuggets vanished, fries disappeared, and the McFlurry—oh, the sanctity of childhood desserts—was not spared.
And as u/CoderJoe1 quipped, this was truly a “McVengeance happy meal...with a side of yelling cousin.”
The Great Reveal: McNuggets, McFlurries, and McJustice
Armed with Gwen’s last two McNuggets and her McFlurry, Jack set off to “find” his cousin. He couldn’t resist twisting the knife (and the plot): “Gwen’s nuggets are so delicious,” he called out, luring her from her hiding place like a temptress with a siren song. Gwen stormed out, aghast at the sight of her vanishing meal, and the chase was on—around the house, through laughter and shouts, with her friend trying (and failing) to hide her amusement.
The community was here for it. As u/Chaosmusic pointed out, “There is an ancient Klingon proverb that tells us that revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold in a McFlurry.” (To which u/wildcat368466 dryly added, “Bold of you to assume that the McFlurry machine is functional today lol.”)
When Gwen threatened to tattle to Aunt Emma, Jack held his moral high ground: “I told her I’d tell her what she did to me which shut her up and she never tattled.” Petty justice, served up with a side of psychological warfare.
Nuggets of Wisdom: Community Reactions and the Art of Petty Revenge
Reddit, naturally, had thoughts—lots of them. The thread is a masterclass in sibling dynamics and the universal pettiness of childhood. As u/Queenofpurplelover4 gushed, “I love this post,” and revealed that cousinly revenge is practically a rite of passage: “My cousins and I are like this. Oh you stepped on my foot while playing? I’m gonna eat your McDonald’s. Revenge fries are delicious.” Even the original poster chimed in with an update: “I ‘accidentally’ stepped on her toe at my gran’s birthday when she wasn’t wearing shoes so I got revenge twice.”
While some questioned the veracity of the tale (u/toadady: “I know this story is B.S. because the ice-cream machine is always broken”), most agreed that the true crime here was Gwen’s original stomp—and that Jack’s retaliation was a masterstroke. As u/ResidingAt42 philosophized, “Situations like this are just playing with your cousin.”
Conclusion: The Sweetness of Petty Revenge (and McFlurries)
So what’s the true moral of this story? Maybe it’s that food always tastes better when it’s snatched from the hands of a mean cousin. Maybe it’s that revenge, even when petty, is a dish best served with nuggets. Or maybe it’s simply a reminder that childhood is a wild ride, full of toe-stomps, stolen snacks, and stories that make us laugh years later.
Tell us—what’s your pettiest act of food revenge? Did you ever get even with a sibling or cousin in a way that still makes you proud? Share your stories below and let’s keep the petty party going. After all, as the Reddit community proved, nothing brings us together quite like a McVengeance Happy Meal.
Original Reddit Post: That time I ate my cousin’s McDonald’s as a kid.