Muffin But Revenge: The Delicious Art of Pretending Not to Know Your School Bully
Picture this: you’re standing in line at a Greggs (the UK’s beloved bakery), scanning the pastry case, when the person behind the counter is none other than your old school nemesis. But this isn’t just any former classmate—it’s the guy who cruelly bullied your best friend, misgendered him, and made school life hell. What do you do? Smile and make small talk? Or, as one Redditor brilliantly did, serve up the coldest, most satisfying dish of all: pretending you have absolutely no idea who he is.
This is the story of u/VoreAllTheWay’s “petty revenge”—a tale that blew up on r/PettyRevenge, delighted thousands, and sparked an avalanche of hilarious, heartfelt, and even thought-provoking community commentary.
The Sweetest Muffin: How to Serve Petty Revenge (and Why It Works)
When u/VoreAllTheWay ran into “Brad,” the transphobic bully, at Greggs, there was no dramatic confrontation, no shouting match. Instead, our hero responded to Brad’s friendly “Oh hey OP, you alright?” with the deliciously blank “Sorry, do I know you?” Brad, ever the oblivious ex-tormentor, kept trying to jog OP’s memory, but was met with polite bewilderment. OP’s family, in on the joke, barely suppressed their laughter as they left with their muffins—proof that sometimes, the best revenge is equal parts subtlety and awkward silence.
Why does this work so well? As one commenter, u/PrettyPurplePuppy, put it: “It’s the best way to get revenge because it’s so embarrassing for them but you’re not being rude enough to get called out for it. It’s the perfect revenge!” And really, what could be more maddening for a former bully than realizing they’re so insignificant to you, you’ve erased them from memory?
Community member u/StockAdhesiveness351 even suggested leveling up: after the initial “who are you?” hit them with, “‘OH YAAA! You’re that transphobe that used to bully my friend! I remember you now!!’” (Now, that’s a plot twist worthy of a soap opera.)
Why Bullies Never Change (Until They’re Ignored)
One of the biggest themes in the comments was the baffling way bullies act like nothing happened, years later. As u/scarletwellyboots insightfully pointed out, “That’s cause to them it was just some silly mistakes they made as a kid—if they even remember it. To them it wasn’t a harrowing, traumatizing experience, it was just fucking around.” For victims, the pain lingers. For the bully? It’s just a blip.
But as many commenters shared, pretending not to know your bully is a surprisingly universal move—and one that hits hard. From u/subtleglow87’s story of a “friend” who ignored her when she was a server (then came crawling back when she was the cool bartender), to u/Winnie_Sanders0n’s tale of a drunk ex-bully getting shut down at a college party, the consensus is clear: nothing deflates a bully’s ego quite like social invisibility.
Others, like u/mermaidpaint, opted for no-tip revenge when their bully became their server. “That’s the ultimate revenge,” said u/BoysenberryFinal9113. “It saves you money and you get a little even.”
Schools, Systems, and the Long Game of Petty Justice
A major thread running through the discussion? Frustration with how schools (and even workplaces) handle bullies. As u/TwoPopular1542 put it, “Revenge against bullies stories are always great because schools never do anything to stop or punish them.” Several commenters, including u/guestpassonly and u/biguntatas, pointed out the infuriating tendency for schools to punish the victims instead—especially if they dared to fight back.
The OP chimed in with their own experience: “The school was awful in so many ways, they let me down on helping with my autism, rigid gender roles, and other general queerphobia… but it was better than my primary school where I got beat up regularly and taunted specifically to cause meltdowns cuz the kids found it funny :/” The community rallied in support, with many sharing their own stories of bullies, both at school and in the workplace, who got away with it—until life, or karma, caught up.
Perhaps the most moving comment came from u/kathyboling100, who described overcoming childhood bullying by her own siblings. Decades later, her greatest revenge is a life filled with love, family, and happiness: “Truly the best revenge is a life well lived,” echoed u/freya_of_milfgaard.
Is Petty Revenge “Enough”? The Debate
Not everyone was convinced that this act truly counted as revenge. Some, like u/SleepyZ92 and u/Tall-Mango4759, argued that the bully probably forgot about the encounter minutes later, while u/DreadThot420 pointed out that the bully hadn’t targeted OP directly. But as OP themselves responded, “I mean… this is petty revenge. Also, he bullied my best friend for being trans and I’m trans soooo yeah he’s a fucking prick. A bully is a bully regardless of who they target and I won’t like them.”
And that, perhaps, is the magic of petty revenge: it’s not about grand gestures. It’s about reclaiming a small piece of power, for yourself or those you love. As u/CoderJoe1 quipped, this was “muffin but vengeance”—and sometimes, that’s enough to make your muffin taste just a little sweeter.
Conclusion: Would You Pretend Not to Know Your Bully?
Whether you’re a fan of subtle social sabotage or prefer your revenge with a side of public call-out, the Reddit hive mind agrees: sometimes, the coldest, quietest moments are the most satisfying of all. So next time you bump into someone who made your (or your friend’s) life miserable, remember—you don’t owe them your time, your energy, or even your memory.
Have you ever run into an old bully, ex, or frenemy? What would you do if you had the chance for a perfectly petty, zero-calorie revenge? Share your stories below—because as this thread proves, sometimes the best justice is served cold. And maybe with a muffin.
Do you think ignoring a bully is the ultimate payback, or would you go for something bolder? Let’s hear your best (and pettiest) tales!
Original Reddit Post: I got revenge on a school bully by pretending to not know him