Never Call Chicks Broads: A Front Desk Tale of Audacity, Accusations, and '80s Slang
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that anyone who works the hotel front desk has stories. Stories of wild demands, midnight emergencies, and—every now and then—a guest whose attitude would make even Basil Fawlty consider early retirement. But few tales are as rich in accidental comedy and retro word choices as the Reddit classic, “Never call chicks broads.”
Let’s set the scene: A hotel, an irate guest, and a front desk worker just trying to survive the night shift with their sanity and sense of humor intact. And somewhere in the mix? The word “broad,” straight out of a 1940s detective novel, dropped with all the subtlety of a foghorn at a silent retreat.
The Setup: When ID Checks Become Battlefields
Our story, courtesy of u/Gogo726 from r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk, kicks off with the guest’s first interaction—a refusal to hand over her ID at check-in. In the world of hospitality, this is the equivalent of refusing to show your boarding pass at airport security. Eventually, she relents, but not before setting the tone: prickly, suspicious, and ready for combat. The night shift inherits the situation, and that’s when things get spicy.
She marches up to the desk, brandishing a printout and an accusation: “This is not my address and I’ve never lived in Connecticut. This is fraud.” Now, there are few things front desk workers love more than being accused of fraud within thirty seconds of meeting someone. But our hero maintains composure, explaining that the address belongs to the third-party booking site, not some nefarious Connecticut address-swapping ring.
The Glorious Use of “Broad”
But the moment that elevates this tale from standard hospitality headache to instant classic is the guest’s choice of words: “The broad who checked me in already got a copy of my ID.” Now, “broad” is a term with a chequered past—vintage slang that’s best left to noir films and, perhaps, your grandpa’s poker night. Hearing it hurled across a hotel counter in 2024? It’s both baffling and hilarious.
Front desk workers are trained to let a lot slide. Lost keys, noisy neighbors, the occasional overzealous “continental breakfast” critique. But being reduced to a “broad” is a special kind of retro insult. It’s like calling the night auditor “dame” or asking if the bellhop can “scram.” Somewhere, Groucho Marx is smiling.
When Comedy Meets Customer Service
Of course, things escalate. When asked for her actual address (to correct the “fraudulent” Connecticut printout), the guest refuses to share it. Logic, apparently, took an early checkout. “Then maybe you need to get new glasses,” she snipes, before threatening once again to report the hotel for fraud.
Our protagonist does what any seasoned front desk worker would: draws a line, ends the conversation, and doles out the silent treatment. But the guest is undeterred, returning for names—first names only, mind you, because as the author cheekily notes, “you never want a demon to know your full name.” (Practical advice for both hospitality and supernatural encounters.)
Lessons From the Lobby
So, what can we learn from this tale of misplaced accusations and misplaced slang?
- Never Underestimate the Power of Words: “Broad” might sound harmless to some, but language has power—and sometimes hilarity—especially when it’s 70 years out of date.
- Front Desk Workers Are Saints: The patience, diplomacy, and dry wit required to handle situations like this deserve medals (or at least unlimited access to the staff snack cupboard).
- Always Know Who You’re Dealing With: If you’re going to come in hot with fraud accusations, at least be ready to provide your address. It’s a hotel, not an espionage thriller.
This story is a brilliant reminder that, behind every counter, there’s a human being balancing customer service, common sense, and—when necessary—a razor-sharp sense of humor.
Your Turn: Share Your Front Desk Fails
Have you ever encountered a guest with a flair for old-school insults or unreasonable demands? Or maybe you’ve survived your own “fraud” accusation over a typo on a reservation? Drop your wildest front desk (or customer service) moments in the comments below. And remember: kindness goes a lot further than calling anyone a “broad”—unless you’re auditioning for a role in a classic screwball comedy.
Stay courteous, stay witty, and always keep your full name to yourself—just in case.
Have a tale of hospitality hilarity? Sound off and let’s share a laugh—no broads allowed.
Original Reddit Post: Never call chicks broads