Conspiracy Theory Kevin Strikes Again: The Never-Ending PTO Panic at the Drugstore
Picture this: It’s another day in retail paradise. The beeping of price scanners, the faint smell of hand sanitizer, and the eternal hum of fluorescent lights are your soundtrack. Just as you’re mentally tallying how many times you’ve restocked the cough drops this week, in strolls Kevin—your favorite workplace conspiracy theorist—on a mission. What’s the crisis this time? A PTO policy that’s been dead, buried, and fossilized for over six years.
Welcome to the world of “Conspiracy Theory Kevin,” a 70-something shift supervisor whose dedication to workplace rumor-mongering is matched only by his refusal to retire. Today’s episode: The Case of the Phantom PTO Cap.