Petty Parking Revenge: How One Book Lover Trapped a Parking Jerk at Barnes & Noble
It’s a story as old as the parking lot itself: you return to your car, arms laden with treasures from Barnes & Noble, only to find some "parking Picasso" has wedged their vehicle so close to yours that not even a stick insect could slip between the doors. For most of us, this is a moment of pure, impotent rage. But for one Redditor, it was the perfect opportunity for a deliciously petty act of revenge—and the internet loved every minute of it.
The Art of Petty Parking Revenge
Our hero, u/No_Employee2238, had just enjoyed what should have been a peaceful mall outing (and, as they admit, spent a "ridiculous amount of money on books I’ll never read"). But upon returning, they found their car was practically fused to a neighbor’s vehicle, making the driver’s side completely inaccessible. Instead of fuming and moving on, they executed the classic crawl-across-the-seats maneuver, but this time, with a plan brewing.
Why should the jerk who parked like an a-hole get off easy? With a gleam in their eye and a phone full of Reddit, OP (original poster) decided to wait for the perfect opportunity. As soon as the spot next to the offending car opened up, our protagonist expertly wedged their own vehicle so close that only a contortionist could hope to enter. Then, they waited for karma to take the wheel.
When the bad parker finally arrived—a tall, not-so-nimble guy—he was forced to clamber in from the passenger side, legs flailing and dignity in tatters. OP watched, basking in schadenfreude, then capped it off with a triumphant smile and a well-timed middle finger. As u/Wpbmommy summed it up: “It took some effort to park that shitty. Some people are so natural with their shittiness but the rest of us require effort, but no worries, the shitty parkers help us descend to their level.”
Parking Jerks: A Universal Annoyance
What’s clear from the Reddit comments is this: parking lot etiquette is a hot-button issue, and everyone has a story. The thread quickly filled with tales of double-parkers, door-dingers, and creative comeuppance.
Take u/1000thatbeyotch’s saga of a habitual two-spot hog at their workplace. Tired of the offender’s antics, they and a coworker boxed her in (legally, mind you), forcing her to crawl through the passenger side. “She parked in one space for a few days after that, but has started using two spaces again,” they lamented—a reminder that some people never learn.
Others chimed in with their own creative solutions. There were zip-tied shopping carts, snarky notes (“The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad had pulled out”), and tales of keying gone awry—though u/Ghawain86 wisely cautioned, “Careful with the keying part. Cameras everywhere, lawsuits and criminal charges suck.”
And it’s not just about revenge. As u/iamonewiththecheese pointed out, sometimes a tiny car and a flexible friend can reclaim “unusable” spots, much to the frustration of line-ignoring neighbors. Meanwhile, u/PepperAnn1inaMillion confessed to missing her Smart car purely for its ability to slip into spaces left by poor parkers: “If the idiot who couldn’t park straight struggled when they returned to their vehicle, so much the better.”
When Instant Karma Parks Next to You
One of the thread’s most satisfying takeaways is the joy of witnessing instant karma. As u/Tremenda-Carucha put it, “Karma's got a sense of humor... everyone's been there.” Whether it’s people being forced to perform vehicular gymnastics or discovering their car booted or ticketed at campus, there’s something universally satisfying about seeing thoughtless behavior meet its just reward.
That said, the community also showed some empathy for genuine edge cases. A few, like u/No_Acanthaceae3518, admitted to taking up extra space out of necessity (“so I can get my kids in and out of their car seats without hitting another car door”), but always tried to park far from the crowd.
And sometimes, the best revenge is just letting the system do its thing. As u/naranghim noted, some universities and shopping centers will boot or tow cars that flout the lines—no need for vigilante justice, just a little faith in the rules (and a phone call to security).
The Joy (and Danger) of Petty Justice
While these stories are undeniably entertaining, it’s worth remembering that parking lot revenge walks a fine line. Most commenters agreed that as long as you’re parked legally, you’re free to let karma run its course. But as the stories of keying, booting, and creative “gifts” in door handles show, things can escalate quickly—and not always in your favor.
Still, as u/DemophonWizard (a self-described 6’-4” parking victim) said, “I thank you for your service and effort to eliminate the scourge of close parkers!” Most of us just want a fair shot at getting into our cars without contorting like Olympic gymnasts. If a little bit of petty revenge helps educate the worst offenders, maybe it’s justice after all.
Conclusion: What’s Your Petty Parking Story?
Parking lot pettiness is a tale as old as time, and the Barnes & Noble showdown is just the latest chapter in an epic saga of asphalt justice. Whether you’re the avenger, the victim, or the reformed offender, we all share the same hope: that someday, everyone will learn to park between the lines.
Have you ever enacted (or suffered) parking lot revenge? What’s your favorite method of dealing with parking jerks? Share your story in the comments—because in the end, we’re all just looking for a spot.
Happy (and considerate) parking!
Original Reddit Post: Wanna park like an a-hole? Get trapped like an a-hole.