Petty Train Justice: When a Cough Sends a Message to a Stealthy Vaper
There are few places more claustrophobic than a packed commuter train at rush hour. Elbows in your ribs, strangers’ breath on your neck, and absolutely nowhere to escape. Now imagine, amid this sardine can of humanity, someone decides it’s the perfect place for a sneaky hit of strawberry-scented vape. The result? A cough heard (and felt) around the Reddit world, and an entire community debating whether it was justice served or just a little too gross.
If you’ve ever been forced to inhale someone else’s “fruity” fog in a public space, you might already be cheering. But, as with all great tales of petty revenge, there’s more nuance (and a lot more laughs) once you dig into the wild world of Reddit comment threads.
Strawberry Clouds and Petty Crowds: The Scene of the Crime
Our story, courtesy of u/FromLondonToLA, unfolds on a jam-packed commuter train in London. Picture it: everyone is squished shoulder-to-shoulder, when a fellow passenger—thinking himself sly—whips out a vape and takes a quick, forbidden drag just inches from OP’s face. The air instantly fills with an artificial berry aroma that triggers an involuntary cough reflex. But instead of struggling to cover their mouth (and lose balance), OP lets the cough fly—directly at the offending vaper, from six inches away.
Was it a calculated move or an honest reflex? As OP cheekily clarifies later, “Under normal circumstances I'd have let go of the rail and covered my mouth but I chose not to on this occasion.” The train stops a minute later, and the vaper, perhaps humbled by the world’s wettest cough, doesn’t try again.
Internet Court in Session: Is This Passive-Aggressive Art or Just Aggressive?
Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge community exploded with opinions—many supportive, some critical, and a few simply hilarious. The top comment, by u/welding-guy, declared, “Wow, you have hit peak passive agressivetiness.” But was it really passive? As u/YeshuaSnow quipped, "This doesn’t seem all that passive to me," sparking a mini-debate on the taxonomy of public coughing-as-justice.
Some saw it as the perfect case of cause and effect. “Good job redirecting this justified reaction into the proper abysmal receiver,” applauded u/Ordinary_Meal536. Others, like u/USS-Virginia, got straight to the point: “Did he stop?” (Spoiler: he did.)
Meanwhile, the vaper community chimed in too. u/Cherry-girl-18, a self-confessed vaper, found it hilarious and even called for more public shaming of inconsiderate vapers: “If I ever vape somewhere I shouldn't, I hope somebody smacks me fr.” Another commenter, u/FightmyFatAss, highlighted that some vapers genuinely try to be considerate, keeping their distance—but as u/Steelexxe noted, “10ft isn’t enough. We can still smell your vape cloud.”
Of course, not everyone was Team Cough. Some pointed out that, in such a crowded space, the cough likely sprayed more than just the intended target. “I’m just over here sympathizing with everyone else on that packed train who had to get vaped on AND coughed on,” observed u/LeafLore. There’s no such thing as a precision cough, after all.
The Science (and Etiquette) of Public Space Vices
Beyond the laughs, a deeper conversation emerged about respect for shared spaces—and the hazards of chemical clouds in close quarters. Several commenters, like u/curtludwig, described genuine allergic reactions to vape chemicals, ranging from nausea to jitteriness: “If they make a big deal out of it I usually say ‘Hey no problem, but when I barf I’m pointing at you.’” Others shared similar frustrations with public vaping and even perfume or nail polish on public transport (shoutout to u/inderu for the nail varnish bus saga).
Many vapers and ex-smokers in the thread agreed: vaping where it’s banned is a jerk move. As u/CdnBison put it, “Even as someone who replaced cigarettes with vaping—good. They were being an ass.” And as u/marsjackremous so eloquently said, “Nobody consented to breathing your cotton candy cloud.”
Still, a few found the whole scene a bit much. “You’re way more disgusting than the vape guy tbh,” grumbled u/gothiclg, while u/ILoveAllSupernatural voted for “the sweet scent of strawberries” over “airborne diseases.” But the majority opinion was clear: if you break the rules and force people to inhale your vape, don’t be surprised if karma comes back as a wet, juicy cough.
Petty Revenge or Public Service? You Decide
Was OP’s cough a petty act of revenge or a justified defense of personal airspace? The beauty of Reddit is in its diversity of perspectives, from those who see every cough as a chemical counterattack (“You were providing him with immediate, wet feedback on his life choices,” as u/Vin-DicktiveDiaries wrote), to those who call for greater maturity on all sides.
One thing’s for sure: in the packed, fragrant battlegrounds of public transit, the battle between vapers and the rest of us rages on. Whether you’re Team Vape, Team Cough, or just Team “Please Let Me Commute in Peace,” this story has something for everyone.
So next time someone tries to sneak a forbidden puff in your personal bubble, remember—sometimes, the pettiest revenge is also the most effective.
What’s your take: justified justice or just plain gross? Would you have done the same, or do you have your own story of petty transit heroics? Jump in below and let’s keep the debate rolling!
Original Reddit Post: Coughed on a vaper