Revenge Is a Dish Best Served… Bloody? The Brownie Backfire That Kept a Roommate at Bay
There’s nothing quite like sharing a kitchen with a roommate to test the limits of your patience, culinary creativity, and, sometimes, your dark sense of humor. But what happens when your roommate crosses the line—twice? In a deliciously twisted tale from Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge, one woman serves up a lesson her “Kevin” roommate will never forget, using nothing but a batch of bloodied brownies and a well-timed fib.
Imagine: you’re broke, newly married, and living in a tiny Victorian servants’ quarters. Your brownies are a little stale, your husband is accident-prone, and your roommate is… well, a Kevin. You’d think the worst thing that could happen is a ruined dessert. But as this story proves, sometimes a little pettiness is exactly what the recipe calls for.
When Kitchen Karma Strikes
Let’s set the stage: It’s the mid-90s, HIV/AIDS stigma is rampant, and every penny counts. Our heroine loves to cook, her husband is skinny (a detail that will come back to haunt someone), and their roommate, Kevin, is the kind of person who burns eggs in a brand-new pan and thinks food in the sink is fair game. One day, a kitchen mishap leaves brownies soaked in blood—literally. The couple rushes out for stitches, only to return and find half the brownies missing and Kevin suspiciously quiet behind his closed door.
Now, any reasonable person would have thrown away the brownies (preferably with a dose of bleach for good measure). Not Kevin. He sees brownies in the sink and thinks, “Why not?”—a decision he’ll soon regret.
But the real cherry on top comes a week later. After scrimping and saving for a shiny new nonstick pan, our heroine discovers it scratched and used. Enough is enough. A plan begins to bake.
The Bitter Truth—Served Cold
Fast forward to an artfully casual confrontation. Our chef blocks the only doorway, her timing impeccable. She asks Kevin if he ate the brownies in the sink. He cheerfully admits it, adding that he figured they were up for grabs since they’d already made it to dishwater limbo.
Cue the gory details. She lays out the story: the knife slip, the blood, the ER trip. Kevin’s face shifts from cocky to queasy faster than you can say “cross-contamination.” Then, in a panic only the ’90s could inspire, he blurts out, “Can you get AIDS from eating blood?” Oof.
Here’s where our storyteller’s pettiness shines: she leans in, feigns concern, and says, “I don’t know, but I guess it’s possible.” Kevin turns green, runs to the bathroom, and spends a quality eternity with his regrets. After that, he barely speaks to them—and, crucially, never touches their food again.
Why This Petty Revenge Is So Satisfying
It’s the perfect blend of justice and creativity. Kevin got a memorable (and harmless) lesson about boundaries, kitchen etiquette, and making wild assumptions about his roommates. And while the AIDS panic might sound over-the-top today, the story’s set in a time when misinformation thrived and stigma ran deep—making Kevin’s freak-out both believable and biting.
But what really makes this story so delicious is the restraint: our heroine never confronted him about the pan. She let the natural consequences of his own grossness do all the work. It’s a masterclass in letting karma handle your dirty dishes.
The Universality of “Kevin” Roommates
Let’s be honest: almost everyone has lived with a “Kevin” at some point. Maybe your Kevin finished your leftovers, used your razor, or left mysterious stains on your favorite mug. But not everyone gets the chance to serve up such poetic justice—and do it with a straight face.
This tale reminds us that sometimes, the pettiest revenges are the most lasting. Kevin’s fear of tainted brownies might fade, but you can bet he’ll think twice before raiding someone else’s snacks again.
What’s Your Petty Revenge?
Have you ever gotten sweet (or slightly salty) revenge on a roommate, sibling, or coworker? What’s your “Kevin” story? Share your best petty revenge in the comments—just keep the blood to a minimum!
Who knows? Your story might just inspire the next great kitchen legend.
If you enjoyed this slice of schadenfreude, hit share and let your friends know: sometimes, the best way to teach a lesson is to let karma do the cooking.
Original Reddit Post: Oh no! Did my brownies give you AIDS?