Sabotage, Sass, and Schoolyard Shenanigans: How I Outsmarted My Crush’s Crush (and Won the Pettiest Revenge)
There’s no battlefield quite as treacherous as the school hallway—and no mind games wilder than those waged between adolescent hearts. If you’ve ever nursed a crush on someone who was just a little too mean, or plotted a minor act of revenge that still makes you cackle years later, you’re in for a treat. I recently stumbled across a gem on Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge that’s equal parts relatable, ridiculous, and riotously funny.
Imagine this: a young woman, a toxic-yet-hilarious “frenemy,” and a tangled web of crushes that could fuel an entire season of a teen drama. The twist? Our narrator wasn’t after love—she was after victory. And, dear readers, she got it.
Let’s set the scene: Our anonymous storyteller (u/GodlessCity99) admits she was, by her own words, “a menace and needed to be stopped.” Years ago, she developed a crush on a girl at school—let’s call her Nia. But Nia had a mean streak, and the relationship soon soured into mutual toxicity. Feelings faded (or maybe just hid behind a wall of sarcasm and shade), and life went on.
But as all seasoned petty warriors know, the universe loves an encore. Flash forward a year, and our narrator discovers that Nia now has a crush on—plot twist!—the brother of one of their mutual friends. Here’s where things get deliciously complicated: said brother just so happens to have a crush on our narrator.
And thus, the stage is set for the greatest act of schoolyard sabotage this side of a John Hughes movie.
Petty Revenge: The Art and Science
With the finesse of a chess grandmaster (or maybe just a slightly chaotic bisexual teen), our narrator decides to “get in the way” of Nia’s budding crush. She starts spending time with the brother—not because she’s interested, but because she knows Nia is. It’s a move so petty, so perfectly unnecessary, that you can’t help but admire the audacity.
The plan works. Our storyteller becomes friends with the brother, blocking any romantic advances from Nia. In the end, she comes clean, telling him she wasn’t into him that way. And, in a refreshing twist, he takes it like a champ—no drama, no hard feelings, just a shared understanding that adolescence is a circus and they’re both here for the popcorn.
Why Do We Love Petty Revenge So Much?
Let’s be honest: stories like this resonate because we’ve all been there. Maybe you never actively sabotaged a crush’s crush, but who hasn’t engaged in a little low-stakes, high-drama maneuvering in the throes of teenage angst? Petty revenge isn’t about inflicting pain; it’s about regaining a sense of control in a world where emotions run wild and logic takes a back seat to hormones.
There’s a certain satisfaction in outsmarting someone who hurt you—even if the “victory” is more symbolic than substantial. And in this case, our narrator didn’t break any hearts or shatter any dreams. Instead, she played the game (with a wink and a nudge) and walked away with the win.
A Bi Queen’s Confession
One of the most delightful tidbits in the original post is the author’s casual, almost apologetic clarification: “I put the B in LGBTQ+.” She’s a girl, and yes, the story is about two girls and a boy—the ultimate triangle. It’s a reminder that queer stories are just as messy, funny, and full of petty drama as any others. And that sometimes, the best way to deal with heartbreak is to have a little fun with it.
The Takeaway: Laugh, Learn, and Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Looking back, our narrator calls herself “the worst”—but honestly, who among us can’t look back at our younger selves and cringe (and laugh) at the wild things we did for love, revenge, or just the thrill of the game?
In the end, no one was really hurt, and everyone (except maybe Nia) got a good story out of it. The brother was a “great sport,” the narrator moved on, and Nia…well, we hope she found someone a little less menacing.
Have you ever pulled a petty move that still makes you chuckle? Or found yourself locked in a silent battle of wits and crushes? Share your own schoolyard shenanigans in the comments below, and let’s celebrate the glorious, ridiculous tapestry of our teenage years.
Because if we can’t laugh at our own pettiness, who will?
What’s the pettiest thing you’ve ever done for revenge? Spill the tea below!
Original Reddit Post: The time I pretended to like the same boy as the girl I liked in school (I won)