Seven Sins of Kevin: How One Mom Survived Thirteen Years of Epic Fails (and Finally Got Free)
If you ever thought your family gatherings had drama, wait until you meet Kevin. For thirteen years, Redditor u/RedditKillsMySoul’s mom was trapped in a marriage that can only be described as a cross between a Jerry Springer episode and a “Don’t Do This At Home” PSA. But—rejoice!—she is finally free, and Reddit is collectively cheering.
Let’s take a wild ride through the most jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud, and occasionally infuriating moments that defined Kevin’s reign of chaos. Trust me, you haven’t heard anything quite like this.
Meet Kevin: The Anti-Handyman and Accidental Anarchist
It’s easy to joke about someone’s quirks, but Kevin didn’t just march to the beat of his own drum—he tripped over it, set it on fire, and then blamed the neighbors. The highlights? Shooting through his own ceiling in a drunken stupor (and refusing to fix it), letting rainwater create a bathroom swamp, and reinforcing a collapsed floor with some two by fours. When the rats moved in to enjoy the new ecosystem, it was Mom who had to pay for the eviction.
One top comment, u/redbucket75, cut through the comedy with a dose of reality: “That's not Kevin behavior, that's alcoholic behavior. Might be a Kevin too, but that was the least of his problems.” And honestly, it’s hard to argue when the “fix” for a rat-infested, rain-soaked bathroom is a couple of nails and some hope.
When Kevin Met Chaos: The Chronicles of Calamity
Kevin’s greatest hits read like rejected scenes from a slapstick sitcom. Tried to cook—lit the kitchen on fire, and “smothered” the flames with a towel (bye-bye eyebrows). Locked keys in the car, so he smashed the window…just before remembering the spare under the bumper. Sold his wife’s engagement ring for $40, then played dumb when she asked where it went.
Redditor u/7LeagueBoots tried to give Kevin the benefit of the doubt about the fire fiasco: “The towel over the grease fire was actually the right idea, just used the wrong thing or waited too long…” But as the original poster clarified, “I can’t imagine Kevin doing anything right so I doubt it lol.” Sometimes, you really do have to laugh to keep from crying.
And don’t forget the camping trip where Kevin wiped with poison oak. As u/Renbarre put it, “5 made me laugh aloud. Kudo to your mom and a toast for her freedom.” If there’s a Darwin Award for marriage stories, this one’s a contender.
Not Just a Kevin: When Comedy Crosses the Line
As the stories pile up—drunken nudity for the police (“Nobody’s home, little piggies!”), infidelity so blatant it left tire marks in the driveway, and a string of DUIs—Reddit’s tone shifted from laughter to concern.
Multiple commenters, like u/shanthor55, wondered how anyone could endure thirteen years of this. The OP responded candidly: her mom wasn’t in a financial position to leave, and the house was Kevin’s inheritance. “She’s on her own feet now though thank God.”
It’s a sobering reminder that behind every “Kevin” joke, there’s real hardship. The OP later edited to clarify that Kevin was abusive, but the stories have become a running joke between mother and child. Sometimes, the only way out is through—and with a sense of humor intact.
The Reddit Peanut Gallery: Hot Takes, Helpful Tips, and Howls of Laughter
Redditors did what they do best: roast, empathize, and—of course—debate. Some, like u/Kratzschutz, insisted, “Kevins are more stupid than malicious,” while others thought “Kevin was actually just also an asshole,” as u/xebt1000 bluntly put it.
There were also practical tips buried in the madness. On the car window debacle, u/Tera_Geek shared, “If you're even slightly handy with tools... [replacing a window] is not always a mental (or Kevin) one.” Advice for Kevin? Maybe too late.
And then there’s the community’s favorite line: “Nobody’s home, little piggies!” u/genasugelan said it best: “really made me laugh, lmao.” When your life is a circus, sometimes all you can do is put on a show.
Cheers to Freedom (and Better Days Ahead)
After seven Kevin-class disasters (and countless more unlisted), it was DUI number six that finally sent Kevin to prison. The divorce? Free. The relief? Priceless.
So here’s to u/RedditKillsMySoul’s mom—for her resilience, her sense of humor, and her newfound freedom. As the OP wrote, “Here’s to my beautiful, wonderful mother. I love you, Mama. You truly deserve so much better.”
Have a wild Kevin in your life? Got a story that tops poison oak or a naked jailhouse greeting? Drop it in the comments below—because if the internet’s taught us anything, it’s that laughter (and a solid community) really is the best medicine.
To freedom, to healing, and to never letting a Kevin near your ceiling with a firearm.
Original Reddit Post: After 13 years of being married to Kevin… My mother is finally free!