Sorry, Sir—We’re Not Reprogramming Reality For Your Phone’s Clock
Let’s set the scene: It’s Saturday evening. You’re a retail worker, already counting down the minutes to closing time—maybe even dreaming about your couch, a tub of ice cream, or sweet, sweet silence. You dutifully lock the doors at the designated time, only to have a lone figure appear, pressing his face (and his phone) against the glass. He wants in, and he’s brought “evidence” that you’re violating the sacred laws of time itself.
Welcome to another episode in the never-ending sitcom that is retail life, starring a customer so convinced of his own smartphone’s infallibility, he’s ready to drag you—and your store’s clocks—into a battle for temporal supremacy.
When Time Is Up… But The Customer Isn’t
The original tale, shared by Reddit user u/DisastrousTarget5060 on r/TalesFromRetail, reads like a scene lifted straight from “The Office.” After a long Saturday, our hero locks up right on schedule, only to be confronted by a customer who arrives a minute late. This customer, who we’ll call “Time Traveler,” insists—by holding up his phone to the glass—that the store should still be open for two more minutes. The doors remain locked. The retail worker stands firm.
You’d think this would be the end of it. But no! Fast-forward one week, and Time Traveler returns, five minutes before closing, ready to escalate. Now he’s alleging the store closes early and demands that all the clocks be fixed. The employee, already running on retail fumes, quips, “Maybe you need to fix your clock.” Mic drop.
Smartphones vs. Store Clocks: Who Wins?
Let’s be honest: In the age of the always-correct digital clock, we’ve all grown a bit too reliant on our phones for the “truth” about time. But here’s the real truth—when it comes to store hours, the clocks that matter are the ones inside the store. Retailers have strict policies, and workers aren’t exactly eager to risk their jobs for a customer’s two-minute shopping spree.
But Time Traveler’s insistence is a classic example of retail entitlement. “If my phone says you’re open, you must be open!” It’s a funhouse mirror version of “the customer is always right.” Suddenly, the store is expected to synchronize every clock, register, and break room microwave to match one man’s iPhone—ignoring the store’s posted hours, the employees’ schedules, and, frankly, reality itself.
The Closing-Time Gauntlet
Anyone who’s worked in retail knows the stress of closing time. You’re racing against the clock to tidy up, count registers, and lock up, all while hoping no last-minute shoppers try to squeeze in. There’s a special brand of anxiety that comes from being asked, “Are you still open?” just as the gate is halfway down.
And let’s not forget: Those last few minutes are for closing tasks, not shopping. Employees aren’t paid to wait around for stragglers who want to argue about time zones. The “one minute” grace period isn’t a challenge—it’s a courtesy that can’t be abused.
Why Store Hours Aren’t Negotiable
Here’s the thing: Store hours are posted for a reason. They’re not a suggestion; they’re a boundary. Changing all the clocks in the store for one persistent customer isn’t just unrealistic—it’s absurd. Imagine asking a bank to stay open because your watch is running slow, or demanding a flight wait for you because your phone says boarding is still underway.
The truth is, retail workers have heard every excuse in the book. From “I just need one thing!” to “But I’m a regular!” to, now, “My phone says you’re open!” It’s a wild world out there, and sometimes the only defense is a perfectly-delivered “Have a good day, sir,” followed by a strategic retreat.
A Final Word: Don’t Mess With The Closer
So, next time you’re rushing to grab groceries or a last-minute gift, spare a thought for the folks on the other side of the counter. They’re not guarding the door out of spite—they’re just trying to end their shift on time. And if you find yourself about to wage a battle over a minute or two, maybe check your expectations… and your clock.
Have you had a similar run-in with a time-obsessed customer or manager? Or do you have a retail tale that deserves the spotlight? Drop your stories and thoughts in the comments below—let’s commiserate and celebrate the unsung heroes of Closing Time!
TL;DR: If your phone says you’re early but the doors are locked, it’s not a conspiracy—it’s just closing time. Don’t ask the staff to change every clock for you.
Original Reddit Post: I am not changing all the clocks in our store for you