'Sorry, Sir—We’re Not Setting Every Clock for You: The Hilarious Reality of Retail Closing Time'
If you’ve ever worked retail, you know the sacred ritual of closing time. The lights dim, the music softens, and employees everywhere pray for a smooth, uneventful end to their shift. But as anyone who’s donned the retail apron knows, there’s always that one customer—the hero who believes the world runs on their clock, not yours.
Reddit user u/DisastrousTarget5060 recently shared a story on r/TalesFromRetail that perfectly encapsulates the chaos (and comedy) of the final minutes before a store closes. Spoiler alert: it involves a stubborn customer, a smartphone, and a timeless dose of sass.
Clock Wars: When Time Becomes a Customer Complaint
Picture this: It’s Saturday evening. The doors are locked, the tills are counting down, and the scent of freedom is in the air. Suddenly, a customer appears at the window—one minute after closing. He gestures frantically, phone pressed against the glass, his device declaring the store should still be open for precisely "two more minutes."
Our hero, the retail worker, stands firm, refusing to unlock the doors. The customer, undeterred, continues his time-traveling crusade, insisting the phone clock reigns supreme over the store’s clocks. The ultimate showdown: iPhone vs. wall clock.
Fast-forward to next Saturday. The ticking time traveler returns—this time five minutes before closing. He accuses our protagonist of closing early, brandishing his phone once more. When told the store closes at the same time every week, he demands the staff “fix their clocks.” After a long day, our hero responds with the ultimate retail mic drop: “Maybe you need to fix your clock.”
Cue the applause.
The Universal Truth: Your Phone Clock Is Not the Law
Let’s get real for a moment. In the age of smartphones and atomic clocks, we all like to believe our devices are infallible. But here’s a retail secret: stores typically set their closing times based on their own clocks—sometimes synced to the register, sometimes set by whoever last changed the batteries, and sometimes just a little bit off after daylight savings.
Is it an exact science? Not always. But no one is reprogramming a dozen clocks just because a customer’s phone says it’s 6:58 and not 7:00. Imagine the chaos: “Excuse me, can you sync all your clocks to the atomic time server in Colorado? I have an app.”
Entitlement at Closing Time: A Retail Rite of Passage
Anyone who’s worked in a store knows the frustration of “just in time” customers. There’s always someone who considers closing time a friendly suggestion rather than a hard line. They’ll slip between the closing doors, argue about the definition of “closed,” or, in this case, insist that every timepiece in the building is wrong except their own.
What makes u/DisastrousTarget5060’s story so relatable—and so hilarious—is how it captures the retail worker’s eternal struggle: maintaining composure and professionalism in the face of increasingly absurd demands. The customer’s insistence that the store’s clocks must be reset to match his phone is peak entitlement. The worker’s retort? Peak retail sass.
A Love Letter to Retail Workers (and Their Clocks)
Let’s take a moment to appreciate all the retail employees out there, standing their ground at closing time. They’ve heard every excuse, dodged every last-minute shopper, and, yes, probably dealt with more than one “time enforcer” wielding a phone.
To the customer who needs every clock changed for their convenience: maybe, just maybe, it’s time to adjust your expectations instead.
Closing Time: Not Just a Suggestion
So next time you’re racing to the store at the last minute, remember: closing time isn’t a challenge, it’s a boundary. And for the love of all things retail, leave the clock-watching to the staff. They’ve earned it.
Have your own story of clock confusion or closing time chaos? Drop it in the comments below! Let’s give a virtual high five to every retail worker who’s ever said, “Have a good day, sir,” and really meant, “Please, just go home.”
What’s your best (or worst) closing time tale? Share it and let’s keep the laughter (and empathy) going.
Thanks to u/DisastrousTarget5060 for giving us a reason to smile (and maybe check our clocks) today!
Original Reddit Post: I am not changing all the clocks in our store for you