The $5 Uber That Could Have Made Us Famous: A True Tale From the Front Desk at 4AM
If you think you've seen it all in hospitality, just wait until a “celebrity” tries to barter his way into your hotel at 4:10 in the morning. Picture this: You’re alone at the front desk, the city is dead quiet, and your only company is the soft whir of the copy machine. Then the phone rings with the kind of request that makes you question if you’re still awake—or if you’ve slipped into an episode of Fawlty Towers.
This, dear readers, is the bizarre, caffeine-fueled world of the night audit shift. And sometimes, you’re just one $5 Uber away from superstardom—or, depending on your perspective, a world of trouble.
When Opportunity Knocks…With a Sales Pitch at 4AM
Our intrepid front desk hero, u/Sharikacat, was wrapping up some paperwork in the predawn hours when a call came in that would leave most of us speechless. On the line: a man, breathless with urgency, claiming to represent a “celebrity” just two blocks away. The ask? Could the hotel send its shuttle to pick up this VIP, who was, for reasons left tantalizingly vague, unable to make the treacherous two-block pilgrimage to the hotel on foot.
Now, the hotel does have a shuttle—sort of. But COVID-19 did a number on guest services, and the van is now reserved exclusively for airline crew contracts, not spontaneous celebrity rescues. The front desk agent politely explains this. But instead of a thanks-anyway and quick hang-up, the caller pivots into full-on Shark Tank mode.
The Celebrity Residency Nobody Asked For
“Listen,” the caller insists, “my guy loves your hotel’s vibe. He’d be willing to perform in your lobby—weekly, maybe even daily!” The implication: regular performances in exchange for a room. Was this the next big residency deal? The birth of a Vegas-style legend? Or just a desperate (and possibly inebriated) attempt to score a place to crash until sunrise?
Let’s pause for a reality check: If your “celebrity” is negotiating a place to stay at 4AM, chances are he’s not exactly on the A-list. But the story doesn’t stop there.
The $5 Uber Gambit
With the shuttle a nonstarter, our enterprising caller suggests the next best thing: Why not have the front desk agent personally order an Uber for them? It’s only a couple of blocks, and hey, it’s just $5. When our hero points out that, surely, the “celebrity” or his rep could use their own phone, the caller admits: “We don’t have Uber.” Not on their phones. Not for the celebrity. But if the front desk agent would kindly step up, there might be a “cut” in it for them. A percentage of…well, something.
Never mind that the front desk is, you know, chained to the desk. Never mind that this is, at best, a $5 favor and, at worst, a breach of every possible hotel policy. The real kicker? The caller accuses our agent of costing the hotel a “massive opportunity” over a measly five bucks.
Would You Have Hung Up?
Let’s recap the key decision points:
- Would you have agreed to send the shuttle for a mystery VIP at 4am (despite it being against policy)?
- Would you have entertained a vague promise of lobby performances in exchange for a room?
- Would you have called an Uber on your own phone for a guest not yet checked in, for a “celebrity” whose name is never revealed?
- Would you have accepted a mysterious “percentage” of…well, who knows what?
Our front desk hero, faced with this fever-dream negotiation, finally bows out and hangs up, returning to the far more glamorous task of prepping deposits for the day’s arrivals.
Lessons From the Night Shift
Hospitality is full of wild stories, but this one holds some classic truths:
- If a deal sounds too good (or too weird) to be true at 4am—it probably is.
- “Celebrity” is in the eye of the beholder, but policy is policy.
- The real VIPs are the night auditors who keep their cool (and sense of humor) when the world gets weird.
So next time someone accuses you of missing a “lucrative opportunity” over a $5 Uber, just remember: Sometimes, the best service you can provide is drawing the line—with a smile and a story for your GM you may or may not ever tell.
Over to You!
Ever had a bizarre celebrity (or “celebrity”) encounter on the job? What’s the wildest request you’ve fielded at the front desk? Drop your tales in the comments below—bonus points if they involve mysterious sales pitches or late-night negotiations!
And remember, your “big break” might just be a $5 Uber away…but maybe, just maybe, it’s better missed.
Inspired by u/Sharikacat’s unforgettable night shift on r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk.
Original Reddit Post: Lucrative opportunities are missed