The Abomination Hat: How a Petty Christmas Prank Became a Family Holiday Tradition
Picture this: It’s the height of pre-Christmas chaos at your local supermarket. You’re navigating a cart through throngs of equally frazzled shoppers, your kids are tossing the wildest items into the cart, and then you see it—the most garish, over-the-top holiday accessory known to mankind. A Santa hat, but not just any Santa hat. This one wiggles, it flashes, and yes, it blares Jingle Bells at decibel levels surely outlawed by the Geneva Convention.
Most parents would shudder and move on. But for one Reddit user, u/statisticus, this was just the beginning of a legendary tale of petty revenge—served up fresh under the Christmas tree.
Let’s set the stage. Our protagonist, a dad of about 50, is doing his annual duty: the all-important pre-Christmas grocery run, accompanied by his eager (and mischievous) children. The fateful encounter happens in the seasonal aisle, where the kids discover what can only be described as the Frankenstein’s monster of holiday headwear—a bright red, battery-operated Santa hat that not only lights up and dances but serenades you with “Jingle Bells” at the press of a button.
His reaction is swift and certain: “No, no, that hat is an abomination!” The offending article is banished back to the shelf, and the shopping continues. End of story? Not quite.
Fast forward to Christmas morning. In this family, a cherished tradition unfolds: one person is chosen as Santa to hand out gifts, and this year, Dad’s the lucky elf. The kids, brimming with anticipation, select the first gift: a mystery box addressed to him. Inside? None other than The Abomination Hat itself, lovingly wrapped and ready for festive humiliation.
Here’s where the magic happens. Forced to don the hat—wiggling, blinking, and jingling for all—Dad becomes the star of his own slapstick holiday comedy. But what started as a cheeky, light-hearted act of petty revenge by his children quickly snowballs into something far greater: a new family tradition. Year after year, the hat makes its grand reappearance, transforming from “abomination” to “iconic holiday relic.” Even Dad admits a tinge of disappointment when, years later, the family cat delivers the fatal blow—rendering the abomination hat forever silent (and, well, unsalvageable).
Why Petty Revenge is the Secret Ingredient of Family Traditions
There’s something wonderfully universal about this story. It’s not just about a silly hat—it’s about how the quirkiest moments, born from playful defiance, often become the glue that holds our holidays together.
Kids are masters of petty revenge, and honestly? Sometimes they’re onto something. That hat, hideous as it was, became a symbol of shared laughter and togetherness, a running joke that everyone was in on. It’s a reminder that the best family traditions aren’t always planned; they’re forged in the fires of ridiculousness and resilience (and, occasionally, battery-powered jingle machines).
From Abomination to Adoration: Own Your Holiday Embarrassments
Let’s face it: every family has its own “abomination hat”—maybe it’s a ghastly sweater, a rubber turkey, or a singing fish plaque. These artifacts, initially sources of embarrassment or annoyance, often become the most treasured parts of the season. They give us permission to be silly, to let our guard down, and to create stories we’ll retell for years.
So next time your kids (or your in-laws, or your prankster partner) bestow upon you a holiday monstrosity, lean in. Wear it with pride. Let it become the stuff of legend. Who knows? It might just outlast your dignity—and become the highlight of your family’s festivities.
The Legacy of the Abomination Hat
As for u/statisticus and his family, the abomination hat may have met a tragic (and slightly smelly) end, but its spirit lives on. It’s a testament to the power of petty revenge and the unexpected joy found in embracing the absurd.
Have you ever had a silly tradition take hold in your family? Did a prank or “petty” act evolve into something you now cherish? Share your stories in the comments—because if there’s one thing we can all use more of during the holidays, it’s laughter (and maybe a little light-hearted revenge).
Happy holidays, and may your abominations be legendary!
What’s your family’s abomination hat? Tell us below!
Original Reddit Post: The Abomination Hat