The Art of Malicious Compliance: How “Not Making a List” Sparked Corporate Chaos
If you’ve ever worked for a company that merged, downsized, or “streamlined” operations, you know the chaos that can ensue. But few stories capture the true spirit of corporate shenanigans quite like the tale of u/Think-Committee-4394, who turned a simple directive—“don’t make a list”—into a masterclass in malicious compliance. What happens when you follow instructions to the letter, and everyone else expects you to have broken the rules? Grab your (possibly rehomed) Aeron chair and settle in for a ride through the wild world of abandoned assets, corporate forgetfulness, and just a hint of poetic justice.
When Corporate Mergers Meet Malicious Compliance
Our story begins in the stormy waters of a company acquisition. As is often the case in the world of specialized technology, a “big fish” company swallowed up two smaller ones, combining them under one roof. Cue the drama, the memos, and, eventually, the closing of the original production facility. The move was messy but—here’s where things get spicy—when it came time to relocate equipment, the higher-ups at “big co” decided only to cherry-pick what they wanted. The rest? Written off and left in a sad jumble on the shop floor.
Here’s where the instructions were crystal clear: “Don’t bother listing any of it. We’ll sort it out at the new facility.” For anyone who’s worked in inventory, this sounds like being told to ignore the fire alarm while the office fills with smoke. But our hero took them at their word. No lists. No tracking. Just a pile of expensive, specialized gear and test equipment left to its fate.
“What List?”: The Aftermath of Not Noticing
Predictably, as soon as the dust settled and trucks rolled away, the questions started rolling in. “Did the multimeter make it?” “Did the screwdriver set get shipped?” “What happened to the racking?” Each time, our diligent buyer/material controller could only shrug and reply, “No idea. I was told not to track any of it.”
This is where the story transforms from compliance to comedy. As u/Wilbur-Petera put it, “That’s kinda poetic—they told you don’t track it, don’t list it, don’t worry about it, then acted shocked when nobody knew where anything was.” The disconnect between management’s directives and their later expectations is a thing of beauty—a perfect example of what the internet lovingly dubs “corporate karma.”
And, as the original poster slyly noted, “I had specifically not noticed if any staff or engineers dropped by to see the sad end of our production floor & I made a point to not see them walking off with anything.” In other words: plausible deniability, with a side of “I see nothing!” As u/Illuminatus-Prime quipped, it’s the Sgt. Schultz defense from Hogan’s Heroes: “I saw NOTHING! I heard NOTHING! I know NOTHING!”
Office Scavenging: The Unspoken Perks of Downsizing
Of course, no tale of office closures would be complete without the legendary phenomenon of “corporate scavenging.” When companies downsize, what happens to all that high-end office furniture and gear? According to the r/MaliciousCompliance hive mind, it often finds new, loving homes.
Take the top comment from u/sevesteen, who’s still sitting pretty in a Herman Miller Aeron chair rescued from a shuttered workplace 15 years ago—already 15 years old at the time! “The managers were about as strict as you’d expect during their last few weeks,” they reminisced. The Aeron chair thread quickly turned into an ode to quality office chairs, with users like u/Different_One265 and u/CoCham vouching for their durability (and sharing repair tips). “You basically secured a generational heirloom off end of days management vibes,” marveled u/Wilbur-Petera, perfectly encapsulating the unspoken tradition of “re-homing” abandoned office assets.
One commenter, u/Equivalent-Salary357, summed up the unwritten rule: “That is synonymous/corporate speak for ‘take what you want before we move it.’” Even the OP coyly admitted to possibly “rehoming” a few items, much to the delight of the crowd.
Corporate Memory Loss: Why Instructions Matter
But behind the laughs and the scavenged Aerons lies a lesson in corporate memory and accountability. When management gives an instruction—especially in writing—it pays to follow it to the letter, but also to keep a copy. As u/FlyingFlipPhone warned, someone will always try to assign blame when things go missing: “Short of this, I would have written proof of the instructions to NOT keep a list.” The OP confirmed, “Oh I had that… Always keep the receipts 😆.”
The beauty of malicious compliance is that it exposes the absurdities of bureaucracy. When higher-ups expect rules to be bent for convenience, but you play by the book, their own system turns on them. As one commenter mused, “You followed instructions and let the chaos be their problem, not yours. That’s corporate karma at its finest.”
Conclusion: Have You Ever Not Seen Something at Work?
Whether you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of such “compliance,” there’s a certain satisfaction in watching bureaucracy tie itself in knots. So next time someone tells you to “just stop tracking things,” remember this story—and maybe grab that Aeron chair before someone else does.
Have you ever witnessed (or participated in) office scavenging? Did your company’s “out of sight, out of mind” approach ever backfire? Share your own tales of corporate chaos and not-so-malicious compliance in the comments below!
Original Reddit Post: What list?