The Bible Forbids Wi-Fi?! Inside the Curious Tech Rules of Conservative Communities
If you’ve ever had your phone die, only to be rescued by the sweet embrace of office Wi-Fi, you’ve probably never wondered if you were breaking a biblical commandment. But as one Redditor discovered, there are places where connecting to the Wi-Fi isn’t just a technical issue—it’s a theological one.
When u/Zoleish’s boyfriend ended up with a locked phone at his small-town mechanic job, he expected to be off the grid. Instead, a mysterious third-party service managed to get him back online, and that’s when the real shock hit: his boss’s church forbids the use of Wi-Fi. Not just at home, but at work too. “Where in the bible did they forbid the use of Wi-Fi?!” the OP quipped, tongue firmly in cheek.
Curious? You’re not alone. The Reddit hive mind dove in with a mix of bewilderment, humor, and genuine insight into why certain religious communities are wary of Wi-Fi—and what that means for the rest of us.
Thou Shalt Not Connect: Why Some Communities Ban Wi-Fi
First things first: No, the Bible doesn’t mention Wi-Fi (shocking, I know). As u/DiodeInc dryly confirmed, “nowhere in the Bible does it forbid wifi. Or anything like it.” But that doesn’t mean all technology gets a free pass. As u/jimicus explained, many Mennonite and Amish groups are “suspicious of any remotely modern technology,” seeing it as a potential disruptor of traditional values.
So why single out Wi-Fi? It’s not about radio frequencies being inherently evil—though, as u/420stonks joked, “anything involving the RF spectrum. It’s dark magic.” The real issue is how technology shapes community life. As u/MR_Moldie clarified, “It is the church’s stance that certain technology disrupts values.” For many conservative Mennonite sects, anything that can fracture communal bonds or enable “worldliness” (think: doomscrolling, TikTok rabbit holes, or even private web surfing) is suspicious.
Others, like u/PastorBlinky, pointed out the “choose your own adventure” nature of interpreting scripture and tradition: “The thing with religion and the bible is anyone can claim anything based on any passage. It’s the original ‘Choose your own adventure’ book.” In these groups, elders or leaders decide what’s allowed, and the rules can shift as new tech emerges.
If It Brings Us Closer, It’s In—If Not, It’s Out
Here’s where it gets interesting: it’s not all about being anti-tech, but about which tech. As u/billndotnet insightfully noted, “Things that support togetherness or community support are more acceptable. Something that favors individual freedom like a car is far less valuable than something that can be used to support others.” This explains why a van big enough to haul the whole church group is fine, but Wi-Fi—which empowers private, unsupervised browsing—is nixed.
This philosophy leads to some quirky exceptions. “The one exception in all of these communities is the washing machine,” wrote u/JulesDeathwish. “The time saved over hand-washing all clothes was so great they carved out an exception.” The point? If technology saves time for communal good, it’s more likely to get a blessing. Just don’t bring a “smart” washing machine—u/meitemark hopes those are still forbidden!
Not All Mennonites Are the Same—And Neither Are Their Tech Rules
It’s tempting to lump all Mennonites together, but as several commenters emphasized, there’s a spectrum. “When people hear/think ‘Mennonite’, they tend to default to what they see on tv… But Mennonite is not a singular group,” wrote u/SwimmingThroughHoney. “There are different groups ranging from progressive to ultra-conservative.”
Many Mennonites use modern tech—including Wi-Fi—without a second thought. “I am Mennonite. All my family and friends I grew up with are Mennonite. There was never any talk about technology being evil or verboten,” shared u/Endarial, who also offered the classic joke: “Why don’t Mennonites have sex standing up? It might lead to dancing.”
Even in the strictest communities, there are practical workarounds. As u/Wandering_To_Nowhere shared in a heartfelt story, a religious colleague couldn’t have Internet at home but was allowed to use it at work—leading to late-night drives for on-call IT emergencies. Their team leader covered for her, showing that respect and flexibility can bridge even the quirkiest divides.
The Devil in the Details: Wi-Fi, Printers, and the RF Spectrum
Some took the opportunity to poke fun at tech’s darker side. “Printers are indeed of the devil,” declared u/incidel, while u/420stonks referenced a textbook subtitled “advanced black magic.” Even biblical humor got a nod: “Thou shalt not cover thy neighbour’s WiFi,” quipped u/ClydusEnMarland.
But beneath the jokes, there’s a thread of real respect. As u/Sxeptomaniac, a Mennonite sysadmin, put it: “It largely comes down to protecting community itself… New technology is treated suspiciously, especially anything related to communications and travel. In this case, limiting public Wi-Fi in the business might be to reduce the ease of relying on it for quick and easy communications.”
Final Thoughts: Faith, Tech, and the Wi-Fi Commandments
So, does the Bible forbid Wi-Fi? Absolutely not. But for some communities, it’s not about chapter and verse—it’s about holding tight to values in a world that’s changing fast. Whether you’re a devout Mennonite, a tech-loving sysadmin, or just someone who hates printers, there’s a lesson here: technology is what we make of it, and every group will draw their own boundaries.
Have you ever run into a surprising tech taboo at work? Or maybe you’ve found a clever workaround for a “forbidden” piece of gear? Share your story in the comments—just don’t expect Wi-Fi at the meeting.
Original Reddit Post: The bible forbids Wi-Fi