The Curious Case of Kevin at the Chocolate Factory: A Sweet Tale of Confusion and Coffee
If you thought Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was the wildest workplace in the world of cocoa, wait until you meet Kevin. He’s not a candy-making genius or a golden ticket winner—he’s the new guy at a real-life chocolate company, and his confusion is so pure, so sweet, it might just send you on a sugar high.
In a viral Reddit post on r/StoriesAboutKevin, user u/Hozenrider shared tales from their fiancée’s workplace—where Kevin, the rookie, has already become legendary for his “Kevinisms.” From baffling questions about chocolate’s origin to his oddly intense interest in coffee-making, Kevin’s first week has the internet howling and head-scratching in equal measure.
Bean to Bar: The Journey (and the Detour)
The story begins with Kevin’s introduction to the chocolate factory. Like all new hires, he was treated to a guided tour detailing the sacred process: bean to bar. The company, proud of its craft, emphasized this point repeatedly—cocoa beans arrive, chocolate bars emerge. Simple, right?
Kevin, however, was not so easily convinced. As u/Hozenrider recounted, when the floor opened for questions, Kevin unleashed his: “Does the company get the chocolate from premade drops or do they grind pre bought chocolate bars?” The guide was, understandably, left speechless.
The Reddit community dove right into Kevin’s confusion. As u/BJntheRV wondered, “Did they actually show the cocoa beans in the tour?” OP clarified: yes, beans were shown, and Kevin was “quite confused the whole way.” For some, like u/racheljessie91, the process seemed obvious (she credits living near Hershey, PA for her knowledge), but the consensus was clear: working at a chocolate factory should come with at least a basic understanding of chocolate’s humble beginnings.
But perhaps Kevin is not alone. As one commenter, u/Hminney, mused, “Chocolate (well pretty much everything) was formed that way by the creator, and we just change its shape. So we buy bars of chocolate, grind them up, and pour them into molds to make different bars.” Maybe the world is just full of Kevins—people for whom chocolate is as mysterious as the moon.
The Coffee Conundrum: Brewing Suspense
If you thought chocolate was Kevin’s only puzzle, think again. The break room became the stage for his next act. As u/Hozenrider’s fiancée made coffee (the Turkish way, for those keeping score), Kevin entered and watched… and watched… and watched.
When asked if he wanted a cup, Kevin declined, opting instead to observe the entire coffee-making process in silence. Was he studying a new art? Was he waiting for chocolate to magically appear in the cup? The Redditors couldn’t resist. u/DamnitGravity quipped, “Are they making coffee in some mystical way that he may never have before encountered?” (For the record, it was just Turkish coffee, but as DamnitGravity admitted, “I legit have no idea how Turkish coffee is made.”)
Community members riffed on the scene: was Kevin on the precipice of another existential revelation? Would the realization that coffee also comes from beans send him spiraling? As u/United_Gift3028 joked, “Once he understands chocolate beans, imagine his confusion over coffee beans in the break room.”
Chocolate Mysteries and Kevinisms: Community Reacts
The thread quickly became a treasure trove of wit and wisdom. Some commenters, like u/RubyTuesday425, imagined a world where Kevin believes “chocolate milk comes from brown cows.” Others, like u/lapsteelguitar, simply wondered: “And he’s employed there why?”
Meanwhile, the beverage debate reached fever pitch. Tea loyalists, led by u/DamnitGravity and u/entropylizard2, playfully squared off over the correct hierarchy of warm drinks (spoiler: hot chocolate remains a favorite, but tea is a strong contender for “any occasion”). Their banter, quoted below, added a touch of whimsy to the already delightful thread:
“Tea (herbal for me) is best for any occasion, then hot chocolate. It feels like it's for special occasions or moods.” —u/entropylizard2
“*raises fists* *listens* *lowers fists* You may pass.” —u/DamnitGravity
Of course, the original poster promised more Kevin tales to come, replying to eager readers: “Will keep you posted.” Given Kevin’s first week, the internet is ready for a whole chocolate box of updates.
Lessons from the Chocolate Line
So, what do we learn from Kevin and his chocolate (and coffee) confusion? For one, never underestimate how mysterious everyday things can be. As u/fseahunt wisely put it, “I would hope the people who work at the chocolate factory have an idea of the origin of cacao!” Apparently, not always—and that’s okay. Sometimes, a fresh pair of eyes (however befuddled) can remind us that the world is full of wonder, even in a pile of cocoa beans.
And if you ever find yourself explaining your craft to a Kevin, remember: patience, humor, and maybe a PowerPoint on “Bean to Bar” can go a long way.
Do you have a Kevin in your workplace? Or have you ever been hilariously confused by something everyone else seemed to know? Share your stories in the comments below—and if you want more sweet tales from the chocolate factory, keep an eye out for updates from u/Hozenrider. The adventure (and the confusion) has only just begun!
Original Reddit Post: Kevin and the Chocolate factory