The Curious Case of Kevin: Vaping, Libraries, and the 15-Foot Rule Debacle
Picture this: It’s a regular afternoon at your city library. The quiet hum of pages turning, the soft clack of keyboards, and the ever-watchful eye of the front desk staff. Suddenly, a telltale puff of vapor drifts through the air, disrupting the literary peace. Enter Kevin—the protagonist of today’s story—who’s about to discover the hard way that libraries and vaping don’t mix, no matter how many feet you are from the front door.
If you think this tale ends with a simple “please don’t vape here,” you’ve clearly never met a true Kevin. There’s debate, denial, and enough mental gymnastics to qualify for the Library Olympics. So grab your bookmarks and your best “shhh!”—it’s time to explore the wild, weird, and occasionally hilarious world of library rule enforcement.
When Kevin Met Ordinance: A Modern Library Fable
Our story, sourced from the ever-entertaining r/StoriesAboutKevin, opens with a city famous for its strict anti-vaping rules and hefty fines for those who break them. That didn’t stop Kevin, who strolled into the library and whipped out his vape right in front of the front desk. When confronted (for the umpteenth time, according to the story’s author u/Rhiannonyesthesong), Kevin responded with the classic “but I’m vaping, not smoking.”
Here’s where things get spicy. The city ordinance treats vaping and smoking as identical sins against the sanctity of public spaces. Unfazed, Kevin doubled down: “You can’t kick me out—there aren’t signs everywhere!” The staff, maintaining the patience of saints, gently pointed out that there is, in fact, a sign right outside the front door.
Kevin, not to be deterred, disappears outside, presumably to conduct research (or maybe just to squint at the sign). He returns, triumphant: “That sign says no smoking within 15 feet of the door. I was more than 15 feet away!” If you’re picturing a courtroom drama starring a vape pen, you’re not alone.
The staff, valiantly suppressing laughter, tried their best to de-escalate. As u/Rhiannonyesthesong noted, “we try to deescalate and let people know it’s not personal but that only works 50% of the time.” In Kevin’s case, it seems, the odds were not in their favor.
The Shush Heard ‘Round the Reddit
Once the story hit Reddit, the community had thoughts—lots of them. Some, like u/supershinythings, longed for the good old days of librarian authority: “Time for Kevin to get the Librarian disapproving ‘shhhhhh!’ and then tossed out for arguing. The cops might enjoy a change of pace.”
But libraries today are more than just book repositories. As u/borgcubecubed poignantly observed, “the library has become the catch-all space for unhoused people, a warming/cooling space in extreme weather, the place where community workers find clients and spread word about programs… I know it’s a lot for you librarians but I see you and your work is so valuable.” Libraries are community lifelines, making the role of the staff both more complex and more critical.
That complexity is why, as the OP clarified, shushing isn’t even allowed in some branches (it’s a safety thing!), and security guards—not the police—are the ones juggling rule enforcement. “We also have to have armed security, because cops don’t show up to our location,” u/Rhiannonyesthesong shared, highlighting the often unseen challenges of modern librarianship.
Technically Correct: The Best Kind of Wrong
Kevin’s attempt at legalese—weaponizing the 15-foot rule—sparked a flurry of commentary. “lol he was technically right tho,” joked u/Pit_27, prompting u/rorrim_narret to counter, “One of the few times ‘technically correct’ was not ‘the best kind of correct.’” It’s a reminder that sometimes, following the letter of the law can land you squarely on the wrong side of common sense (and library staff).
The rules, as OP explained, are actually posted inside: “The posted code of conduct says ‘illegal activity will result in being asked to leave’ or something. So technically it is posted, you just have to know it’s illegal (it’s pretty obvious).” In other words, yes, there are rules, and yes, Kevin, you’re still out of luck.
And, of course, the community couldn’t resist poking fun at the concept of a “heavenly fine”—a typo-turned-meme in the thread. u/copiman54 asked, “What is a heavenly fine???” to which u/meowhahaha replied, “So big you would tower on top of the stack of gold coins needed to pay it? Just like Scrooge McDuck!” Even autocorrect joined the party, with “autocarrot” making a surprise cameo.
Libraries: Sacred, Silly, and Seriously Underappreciated
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Who even tries to vape in a library in 2025?”—congratulations, you are not Kevin. But the story is more than just a comedy of errors. It’s a reminder that libraries are microcosms of society, complete with their own dramas, debates, and a rotating cast of characters.
As u/emax4 quipped, “Good new Kev! You can vape all you want outside and won't be forced to read!” An offer that, for Kevin, might be the real silver lining.
So next time you’re in the library, spare a thought for the staff working the front lines—part guardian, part peacekeeper, part rulebook interpreter. And if you see a sign about smoking or vaping, don’t try to out-lawyer it. Just grab your book, find a cozy corner, and enjoy the silence. (Or, at least, try not to get shushed by an armed security guard.)
Conclusion: Share Your Library Legends
Ever witnessed a “Kevin” moment at your local library? Or maybe you’re a librarian with tales of your own? Drop your stories in the comments below—let’s celebrate (and commiserate over) the wild, weird, and wonderful world of libraries. And remember: within these walls, the only thing you should be inhaling is the scent of old books.
Original Reddit Post: Kevin got kicked out of the library