The Day My Ex-Abuser Checked Into My Hotel: A Front Desk Horror Story and the Reddit Community’s Response
Imagine this: You’re at work, brewing the first coffee of the day, ready to greet the endless stream of guests with your best customer-service smile. You’re flipping through the check-in list, making sure everything’s prepped for your coworker, when your heart suddenly drops to the floor. It’s not a spilled latte or a mystery charge on a folio—no, it’s the name on the list. The name. The one you never wanted to see again. Turns out, some ghosts don’t stay dead, and they can book a double queen non-smoking just like anybody else.
This isn’t a scene from a binge-worthy true crime series; it’s the real-life horror story that u/Competitive-Cry-9892 shared on r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk—one that left Redditors rallying around them with fierce empathy, practical advice, and a few hard truths about the hospitality world’s limits and liabilities.
Let’s break down what happened, how the community responded, and what anyone in a similar situation can learn from this chilling encounter at the check-in counter.
The Twist No One Wants in Their Hospitality Career
Our protagonist (let’s call them CC for short) has worked just about every shift their hotel can throw at them: night audit, morning, PM. On this particular morning, while prepping check-ins, CC noticed a name that made every nerve in their body tense up. At first, they tried to brush it off. After all, names repeat—maybe it’s just a John Smith situation, right? But a quick glance at the phone number confirmed the worst: it was their ex-abuser. Cue the anxiety, the flashbacks, the dread of maybe having to face the person who caused them immense trauma as a teen.
To say this wasn’t just “another day at the office” is a massive understatement. As CC shared, this ex had not only been emotionally abusive but had assaulted them and left scars that required a long hospital stay and years of recovery. Seeing his name on that check-in list wasn’t just uncomfortable—it was destabilizing, dangerous, and deeply unfair.
When Trauma Checks In: What Can You Even Do?
Most of us hope our workplaces are safe spaces, but as this story proved, the real world doesn’t always cooperate. The question CC faced was agonizing: Is there any way to get this person banned—a DNR (Do Not Rent) note—without risking more trauma or even alerting the abuser to where they work?
Here’s where the Reddit hive mind did what it does best: offering both support and savvy strategies.
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Bring in the Bosses (and HR): The top-voted advice came from u/iAMBushYT, who didn’t mince words: “Bring this up to your GM. I know it will be hard, but if your GM has any heart and backbone they will DNR this person for you.” Several users echoed this, with u/reb678 adding that HR should be included too—because if your manager drops the ball, HR’s got the paperwork (and, hopefully, the policies) to back you up.
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Legalities and Liability: But how does a hotel actually DNR someone for reasons like this? As u/iAMBushYT pointed out, “Businesses can deny ANYONE they want for any reason, and they don't have to tell you the reason. As long as it’s not discrimination.” Protecting employees from past abusers? Perfectly legal, and frankly, a no-brainer from a liability standpoint.
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Documentation is Your Friend: Several commenters urged CC to keep a record—offsite!—of every interaction and notification to management. As u/VermilionKoala put it, “Companies are shit scared of anything that could cause them to lose a lawsuit for $massive_payday.” In other words, if management ignores a documented warning and something happens, it’s their neck (and wallet) on the line.
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Focus on Facts, Outcomes, and Safety: u/kevinh456 offered a practical approach: When talking to your manager, “focus on facts, liability, and desired outcomes.” Keep it clear: what happened, what the risks are, and what you need (DNR, schedule changes, etc.). Make the decision as easy as possible for management.
The Emotional Toll—and the Power of Community
It’s easy to get lost in procedures and policy, but Reddit didn’t forget the human side. CC was painfully honest about the aftermath: “Ever since that I have been depressed, anxious and what I hate the most suicidal.” The outpouring of support was immediate and heartfelt. u/croslay summed up what so many felt: “You deserve to feel safe at work and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You aren’t alone in this <3.”
But the community also offered caution. As u/Perky214 pointed out, if the ex finds out he’s been banned and learns why, he may realize where CC works—a risk that might outweigh the reward. CC replied with their own fears: “Knowing him, if he sees me he’ll either never come back or stalk me again. High, I’m scared of.” For situations this complex, several suggested seeking help from local women’s shelters or advocacy groups—people who know the legal landscape as well as the emotional one.
What Can We Learn?
This story is a stark reminder that trauma doesn’t clock out just because you’re on the clock. It also shows the best of the Reddit community: empathy, actionable advice, and a willingness to tackle the messy realities of workplace safety. If you’re ever in a similar situation, remember:
- You have the right to feel safe at work.
- Management and HR should be your allies in keeping you safe.
- Document everything, and don’t be afraid to seek outside support.
- Don’t bear it alone—there’s a whole community (online and off) ready to step up.
Your Turn: What Would You Do?
Let’s keep the conversation going. Have you ever faced a nightmare customer—or coworker—from your past? How did you handle it? What advice would you give to someone in CC’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below—because sometimes, the best way to banish ghosts is to shine a little light on them.
Original Reddit Post: Ex abuser came to check in