The Golden Throne Gets Baptized: A BBQ, a Food Allergy, and the Ultimate Petty Revenge

In this photorealistic illustration, we see a young diner overwhelmed by a meal that doesn’t sit well with them. The expression captures the frustration of dealing with food intolerances, a theme central to the story of unexpected culinary surprises.

Picture this: You’re at a lavish lakeside BBQ, surrounded by friends and the kind of new-money opulence that includes, yes, a bathroom with a literal “golden throne.” (No, not Game of Thrones, but a gilded toilet so precious, the host gave his guests a tour and a warning: “Don’t touch my fancy potty.”) Now imagine that, thanks to a reckless act of culinary defiance, you end up christening that throne in the least regal way possible.

This isn’t the plot of a dark teen comedy. It’s the real-life tale of Reddit user u/Lickawall483, who, at age 16, learned what happens when adults don’t take food intolerances seriously. Spoiler: There’s vomit, family drama, and a friendship that never quite recovers.

The Golden Throne and the Gluten for Punishment

Our story begins with a friendship: OP (original poster) and “Anna” have been inseparable since childhood, their families sharing countless BBQs. Everyone knows OP’s unique dietary needs—no red meat, pork, fish, or melons—because these foods cause immediate, violent reactions. For OP, “bird meat and seafood” are safe, but everything else is a digestive minefield.

Enter Anna’s dad: proud owner of a new lakeside mansion and, more importantly, an ostentatious golden toilet. He’s the kind of guy who gives a bathroom tour before the burgers hit the grill. “Don’t mess with my golden throne,” he warns. Foreshadowing, anyone?

As the BBQ kicks off, Anna’s dad places a suspiciously pale piece of meat on OP’s plate, assuring them it’s chicken. OP, trusting and hungry, digs in. The taste is “weird,” the texture off, but the reassurance persists—until the stomach pain hits like a freight train. Only then does Anna’s dad confess: it was pork all along.

Cue OP’s mad dash to the nearest bathroom—the forbidden throne—just in time to unleash a torrent of revenge that no cleaning product could erase.

Allergies, Entitlement, and the Art of Not Listening

Here’s where the story gets both infuriating and hilarious. As OP empties their guts into the golden bowl, Anna’s dad appears, not to apologize, but to scold: “You’re ruining my expensive toilet!” Anna, bless her, immediately calls out her father’s reckless disregard for OP’s health. As u/bn40667 astutely comments, “Sounds like dad gaslit Anna into thinking it was YOU who ruined her birthday. But it was dad all along.”

The Reddit crowd was quick to rally behind OP, with many pointing out how dangerous food allergies and intolerances can be. “Yet another adult who thinks he knows better,” lamented u/badmind88, capturing the frustration of anyone who’s ever had to defend their dietary restrictions to a skeptical host. u/Sad-Librarian-5179 shared the exhausting reality of chronic food intolerance: “It sucks when people don’t believe you. Like why would anyone intentionally deprive themselves?”

The community’s consensus? Whether it’s allergy, intolerance, or medical mystery, “You DO NOT try to furtively test that theory,” as u/needsmorecoffee succinctly put it.

The Throne’s Final Reckoning (And a Friendship Down the Drain)

After an hour of non-stop vomiting (and one furious call to OP’s parents), the saga reaches its climax: as OP is about to leave, another wave of nausea hits—and this time, Anna’s dad gets a faceful. OP’s mother, equal parts furious and amused, lets loose on Anna’s dad, warning him of both medical and social consequences.

Redditors called this “the chef’s kiss to the story” (u/nyrB2), and even OP’s mom couldn’t help but laugh. But the fallout was real: Anna’s birthday was ruined, and the friendship eventually fizzled. Anna, convinced OP was at fault, started plotting “pointless revenge schemes” straight out of a teen drama, which OP later described as “not that interesting”—think schoolgirl gossip and petty threats.

Medical Mysteries, Melons, and the Internet’s Diagnosis Game

The Reddit comments section became a surprisingly informative forum on rare allergies and food intolerances. Several users (u/different-take4u, u/jignha, u/GeekynGlorious) pointed out the possibility of Alpha-gal syndrome—a tick-borne allergy to mammal meat, which might explain OP’s reactions. Others suggested FPIES (Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome) or lingering effects from childhood surgeries.

But as u/RuggedHangnail wisely noted, “OP could have Alpha-gal syndrome and separately be allergic to melons. They are not mutually exclusive, just unfortunate.” The collective takeaway: food issues are complex, and no one else gets to decide how your body reacts.

Still, the story’s silver (golden?) lining? At least, as u/Wittusus joked, “the unused throne was clean for you”—or, as another put it, “more like a gold lining.”

Closing Thoughts: Don’t Mess With Dietary Restrictions (Or Golden Thrones)

This tale is a cautionary epic for anyone who’s ever doubted a friend’s food issues, or tried to sneak a forbidden ingredient onto someone’s plate “just to see.” Not only is it disrespectful—it’s dangerous, and sometimes, deliciously karmic.

So next time you’re at a BBQ, remember: the golden throne you save may be your own.

What’s the pettiest (or most epic) food revenge you’ve witnessed? Have you ever had to defend your dietary quirks to a stubborn host? Let us know in the comments—just don’t serve any pork.

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Original Reddit Post: You gave me the wrong food? I will throw up all over your golden throne