The Goose is Loose: When Hotel Security Meets a Full-Fledged Fowl Emergency
Picture this: You arrive at your hotel shift expecting the usual—maybe a few early check-ins, a lost key card or two. Instead, you’re greeted by a pint-sized grandma, fists pounding the desk, voice raised to a near-feathery frenzy: “You’re killing the geese! Your guy threatened me with a broom and I am calling the cop on everyone here!”
You blink. Did you just land in a slapstick comedy, or is this just another day at a hotel with a “lake” (read: retention pond) and a goose problem? As it turns out, when feathered foes and dramatic patrons collide, chaos—and comedy—inevitably ensues.
Honk If You Love Drama: How Geese Became the Unexpected Villains
If you’ve ever worked hospitality, you know your day can go off the rails fast. But rarely does it involve accusations of avian homicide. Our story, as shared by u/FCCSWF on Reddit’s r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk, kicks off with a furious accusation: Grandma swears the hotel’s “big black guy” (the head of security, a respected Marine vet named W) is “beating the geese down by the lake” and, she claims, swung a broom at her.
The truth? W was simply scaring geese off the walking path—standard hotel procedure for keeping those infamous “cobra chickens” (as one commenter explained, a now-viral nickname for Canada geese) from turning the grounds into a feathery minefield. As u/HerfDog58 quipped, “If you got a problem with the Canada goose you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that marinate a bit!”
Canada geese, as many commenters agreed, are no joke. “They not only bite you but also twist at the same time for additional pain,” shuddered u/Secure-Corner-2096, a self-proclaimed Canadian. “Geese. What a bunch of bastards,” added u/RedDazzlr. Even u/KrazyKatz42 recounted a face-off with a goose taller than her car hood, admitting, “No way I was getting out to ‘shoo it’ lol.”
When Law Meets Fowl: “Did You Kill Any Geese?”
The police arrive, one professional, the other struggling not to laugh. Grandma repeats her accusations—geese murder, broom assault, the works. W, meanwhile, is baffled: “Of course not. We periodically try to scare them off the walking path.” The “murdered goose” is nowhere to be found, and the lady finally admits she never actually saw any goose violence.
One Redditor, u/sdrawkcabstiho, couldn’t resist the pun: “Ugh. Geese are fowl.” Another, u/Odd-Outcome450, chimed in: “Get the flock outta here!” The entire scene borders on absurdist theater, with security, police, and an irate grandma on a wild goose chase—literally.
But there’s a darker undertone, too. Several commenters, like u/Chickadee12345 and u/Large-Treacle-8328, noted the racial undertones of the accusation. “She had to blame him for something because he was black and she felt threatened for the sole reason of his race,” pointed out u/Chickadee12345. Even OP confirmed, “Oh absolutely. W was a big dude. Marine vet. Semper Fi…W was well known by secret service, state police, local cops, and private security. Plus he was just a good dude.” The consensus: this was a case of “scaring geese while black.”
Gooseburgers, Karen Sauce, and The Wisdom of the Crowd
Once the smoke clears (and no geese are harmed in the making of this story), OP and coworker A joke about “gooseburgers” for lunch. The Reddit crowd, never one to miss a punchline, piles on. “With a side of Karen sauce, indignant flavor,” deadpans u/HerfDog58.
The thread is littered with references to the sheer audacity—and danger—of geese. “Unless you are a trained professional, I guess,” warned u/Komiksulo. Others imagined alternate endings: “Security should’ve tried to get the geese to chase her lol,” suggested u/TheNiteOwl38, picturing an army of honking birds in hot pursuit. “I can see it now…security footage of her running and screaming into the morning light,” they added, to much virtual applause.
And for those unfamiliar: “Cobra chicken” is now the semi-official term for the Canada goose, thanks to a viral tweet recounted by u/dreamandwonder.
Tales From The Feathered Front Lines
So what’s the takeaway from this honking hotel saga? If you work front desk, expect the unexpected. Geese are not to be trifled with—unless you’re armed with a broom, nerves of steel, and backup from both security and local law enforcement. And maybe, just maybe, keep an eye out for self-appointed animal crusaders with a penchant for drama.
As OP put it, “Every day was different for sure.” And with guests (and non-guests) like these, the stories pretty much write themselves.
Have your own wild animal encounter or tales from the front desk? Drop them in the comments! And remember: when dealing with a flock, sometimes the real danger isn’t the geese—it’s the people honking louder than the birds.
Honk responsibly.
Original Reddit Post: I'm calling the cops!