The Great Discount Debacle: When 'Feeling Like It' Isn’t a Coupon Code
If you’ve ever worked retail, you know there are customers—and then there are “Can I get a discount because I feel like it?” customers. These are the folks who treat the price tag as a light suggestion, the checkout counter as a negotiation table, and your time as fair game for Olympic-level haggling. Today’s tale from r/TalesFromRetail is a masterclass in customer audacity, employee patience, and why sometimes, you just have to laugh (or cry) at the absurdity of it all.
Let’s set the scene: a mid-range home and gift store, the kind with shelves of candles, quirky mugs, and seasonal must-haves. It’s a quiet afternoon—quiet enough to hear the same playlist loop. Enter our protagonist: a customer in his late 30s, dressed for a casual dinner or possibly a showdown with a parking meter. What follows is a retail encounter so surreal, it deserves to be framed.
Discount Logic: Now Accepting Gas Receipts and Vibes
It starts innocently enough. The customer approaches the counter with a countertop humidifier and asks, “So what’s the discount on this?” No sale, no sticker, no reason—just vibes. The employee, ever the professional, explains that unless there’s a damage or promotion, the price is the price.
But our customer is undeterred. When told there’s no discount, he points to the sealed box: “It’s damaged. Because it’s the last one.” If retail workers got a nickel every time someone tried to turn “last on the shelf” into “obviously flawed,” they could retire by age 30. As the original poster [u/headphonesallnight] recounted, the customer’s face was “dead serious, almost offended” that reality wasn’t bending to his will.
The negotiation quickly derails into theater. He argues the item isn’t “new-new” because other people have touched the box. He pleads for a ten-dollar discount because he “drove all the way here”—in a normal suburban shopping plaza, not a remote outpost. My personal favorite: “You don’t understand. I used gas. Gas is expensive. So it would make sense for you to, like, balance that out.”
The only thing this logic balanced was the patience of the retail worker—precariously, at that.
As one top commenter, u/Gabesnake2, quipped: “What a genius. I’m sure he tried that same line at the gas station: ‘But I had to drive all the way here to buy your gas! Can’t you give it to me for free for no reason?!’” The community ran with it: imagine demanding airfare reimbursement because you “flew in from London.” Hey, if emotional labor is currency, this guy’s a billionaire.
The Art of Saying “No”—and Why It’s Necessary
But why do customers feel so empowered to haggle in places where the price is set by corporate, not barter? Some commenters speculated on cultural differences—u/buddhapipe offered, “Maybe he’s from another country where bargaining is expected.” But the majority agreed: this was just garden-variety entitlement.
The OP’s restraint was widely celebrated. As u/Madam_Apathy put it, “The amount of restraint is admirable.” Others shared their own battle-hardened tactics: from pretending not to understand (“I scan, you pay... I scan, you pay...”) to joking about a “discount processing fee” (u/PeorgieTirebiter: “I can give you ten percent off, but in order to do that I have to charge you an extra twenty percent to cover the discount processing fee.”). Some even fantasized about an “idiot tax” for serial hagglers, like the legendary tent sign at a feed store described by u/Best_Ferret1134: “Insist on a discount, we add 10%! Hit it again if they protest.”
Frontline retail is often a battle of wits and patience. As u/SaerisFane admitted, “LOL good job staying professional, I definitely would have cracked.” The OP’s calm “We can’t do discounts based on promises” line has now entered the Retail Employee Hall of Fame.
Customer Service vs. Customer Sovereignty
What’s really at play here? The myth that “the customer is always right” has ballooned into “the customer should always get what they want.” The most hilarious twist: after all the drama, the customer tried to snag a candy discount for “wasting his time.” When denied, he hit the grand finale: “So you’re gonna make me leave here empty-handed.”
The community had a field day. One suggested saying, “Sorry, sir, the price on the box already includes every conceivable discount that production and marketing were able to apply. What’s left is the profit margin, and that’s what keeps this store from going out of business forever.” Others shared stories of customers bargaining for employee discounts, free upgrades, or compensation for life’s inconveniences—like the weather, or having to drive at all.
Yet, as u/Maleficent_Offer_692 summarized, “I’m not paying that price… Then I guess you’re not getting it.” Sometimes, that’s all you can say.
When the Universe Balances Itself
The punchline? Five minutes after Mr. Discount left—empty-handed, muttering about how businesses “don’t appreciate people anymore”—another customer walked in, bought the same humidifier at full price, and simply said “thanks.” No drama, no negotiation, just a transaction as it was intended.
As u/nemaihne mused, maybe that second customer was the original’s long-suffering partner, sent in to finish the job. Retail employees everywhere nodded in solidarity.
In a world where every customer’s inconvenience is a potential bargaining chip, stories like these remind us why respect and boundaries matter. As one commenter aptly put it, “Hey bud, this isn’t a flea market, pay what’s on the price tag or gtfo.”
So next time you’re tempted to channel your inner negotiator at the checkout, remember: the person behind the counter is a human, not a genie. And if you must ask for a discount, at least make it entertaining.
Have your own retail tales or discount war stories? Share them below—because laughter, after all, is the best employee benefit.
Original Reddit Post: “Can you just… give me the discount because I feel like it?”