The Gym Bathroom Gauntlet: How Petty Revenge Taught One Bro the Value of Handwashing
We’ve all been there: standing in the gym bathroom, silently judging the hygiene habits of the guy next to us. But one Redditor recently took things to the next level, wielding the power of petty revenge against a serial handwashing offender—and the internet is here for it.
Imagine finishing your workout, feeling the burn, and heading to the restroom to clean up, only to witness a fellow gym-goer skip the sinks after their bathroom break. What would you do? For u/Sn_Orpheus, the answer was simple: block his escape with a masterclass in petty bathroom etiquette.
The Petty Play-by-Play: A Bathroom Ballet
Let’s set the scene: Our hero, u/Sn_Orpheus, is at the gym, post-workout, and heads to the bathroom—because, let’s face it, gym equipment is a bacterial buffet. He finds himself by the sinks, paper towels in hand, when another guy finishes at the urinal and strolls right past without a glance at the soap dispenser.
Cue the petty revenge.
Channeling the intensity of a surgeon prepping for a critical operation, u/Sn_Orpheus begins drying his hands. Slowly. Thoroughly. With the precision of someone about to perform open-heart surgery on a hummingbird. Meanwhile, the non-washer lurks, hoping to slip by, but every attempt is thwarted by a casual—but oh-so-intentional—shift in stance.
The would-be escapee shuffles left. Our hero shifts, making the gap even narrower. The non-washer feints right. Our hero moves to “throw away” his towels, only to double back in a perfectly choreographed fake-out. The performance lasts just 30 seconds, but for the offender, it must have felt like an eternity.
The moral? It would’ve been way faster to just wash your hands.
The Dirty Truth: Gym Bathrooms Are a Battlefield
Let’s get real: Gyms are a breeding ground for all things germy. MRSA, athlete’s foot, norovirus—pick your plague, it’s probably living in the locker room. According to the CDC, proper hand hygiene is one of the simplest and most effective ways to keep yourself (and others) from getting sick.
Yet, as our Redditor points out, handwashing is far from universal. He estimates that at least 50% of guys don’t wash after peeing, and a “considerable amount” skip it even after a #2. Ladies, before you feel too smug, studies suggest that while women tend to be better about hand hygiene, there are still plenty of offenders in every restroom.
Why Do People Skip the Sink?
Let’s psychoanalyze for a second. Why do so many people choose to go straight from urinal to exit? Is it laziness? Forgetfulness? A misguided sense of invincibility? Or maybe it’s the ancient “I didn’t touch anything but me, so I’m clean” logic?
Whatever the reason, it’s a bad bet, especially in a gym. Hands touch everything from barbells to benches to water fountains—and if you’re not washing up, you’re basically turning yourself into a walking, flexing germ delivery service.
Petty Revenge: The Hero We Need
What makes this story so deliciously satisfying is the subtlety of the revenge. It’s not aggressive; it’s not confrontational. It’s just inconvenient enough to make the point: “If you can wait 30 seconds for me to finish my Oscar-worthy hand-drying routine, you could have washed your hands yourself.”
It’s the kind of low-stakes, high-impact justice that makes r/PettyRevenge such a beloved corner of the internet. No one gets hurt, but maybe—just maybe—the lesson will stick.
Wash Your Hands, Save the World (or at Least the Gym)
So, next time you’re tempted to skip the sink, remember: it takes less time to wash your hands than it does to be schooled by a petty avenger in the bathroom. Plus, you’ll be doing your part to keep the gym (and yourself) a little healthier.
Have your own petty revenge story or thoughts on bathroom etiquette? Share them in the comments! Let’s make cleanliness cool again—one paper towel at a time.
Original Reddit Post: Not wash your hands after peeing? You’ll have to wait to leave.