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The Kevin Conundrum: Why Do Some People Try to Walk Through Living, Breathing Humans?

A cinematic scene of a person directing traffic, with confused individuals attempting to walk through them.
In this cinematic illustration, the challenges of guiding others come to life. Watch as the protagonist navigates the daily chaos of directing people, highlighting the humorous yet frustrating encounters with those like Kevin, who seem to miss the point entirely!

Have you ever stood in a hallway, clearly pointing out directions, and watched in disbelief as someone attempts to walk straight through you—as if you’re made of mist, or perhaps a ghostly projection from a malfunctioning holodeck? If you’re nodding yes, you’re not alone. According to a recent post on r/StoriesAboutKevin, Redditor u/agizzy23 has been living this bizarre reality on a daily basis. Their job? Directing people. Their challenge? Dodging the relentless advance of Kevins who refuse to acknowledge the immutable laws of physics… or the existence of other human beings.

It’s an experience that’s both hilarious and a little terrifying. Welcome to the world of the Kevin, where common sense takes a backseat and personal boundaries are mere suggestions.

Attack of the Kevins: When You’re More Hologram Than Human

Let’s set the scene. You’re working your shift, standing in a hallway, maybe at a hospital or a busy office building. Your job is simple on paper: help people by telling them where to go. You gesture. You speak clearly. You even point, just in case language is a barrier. You’ve made yourself as obvious as a neon sign at midnight.

And yet… here comes Kevin. Kevin locks eyes (or not), and instead of following your helpful directions, Kevin forges ahead, aiming straight for your center mass. No hesitation. No detour. Just pure, unadulterated confidence that you—mere mortal—are nothing more than an illusion to be passed through.

As u/agizzy23 so eloquently puts it: “Please stop trying to walk through people. That’s not how solid matter works.”

The Psychology of the Perpetual Pedestrian

So, what’s going on here? Why do some people act like the laws of matter and space-time simply don’t apply to them? Is it an advanced form of denial? A belief in their own intangibility? Or are some folks just so deep in thought that they literally forget that other people exist?

Let’s break down the possible categories of Kevin:

  1. The Oblivious Kevin: Head down, in their own world, possibly composing a mental shopping list or reliving that embarrassing moment from high school. You, my friend, are but a speed bump on their path to enlightenment (or Starbucks).

  2. The Overconfident Kevin: This Kevin assumes that if they just keep walking, everyone else will get out of their way. It’s a power move, really. The sidewalk equivalent of “I’m walking here!”

  3. The Perpetually Lost Kevin: Directions? Signs? Human beings pointing and speaking? Too much information. This Kevin is so bewildered that all sensory input is tuned out, replaced by a single, overriding instinct: move forward at all costs.

The Laws of Physics, Now with More Common Sense

To all the Kevins out there: we regret to inform you that, contrary to what video games may suggest, you cannot clip through walls, doors, or—most importantly—other people. Despite advances in technology, humanity has yet to perfect the art of holographic projection (outside of Tupac concerts, anyway).

If someone is standing in a hallway, arms outstretched to point you in the right direction, that person is not an NPC waiting to be phased through. They are made of matter, just like you. Please adjust your trajectory accordingly.

How to Avoid Becoming a Kevin

For those who fear they may be a Kevin (or know one), here are a few handy tips:

  • Engage your senses. Look up! Make eye contact! Acknowledge the existence of other people!
  • Listen carefully. If someone is giving you directions, pay attention to both words and gestures.
  • Respect personal space. If you find yourself on a collision course with another human, it’s time to pivot, not plow ahead.

Share Your Kevin Stories!

Have you ever played the unwilling role of “invisible wall” to a determined stranger? Or maybe you’ve been a Kevin yourself (no shame, we’ve all zoned out before). Either way, we’d love to hear your tales of accidental human bumper cars. Comment below with your funniest, weirdest, or most baffling encounters with Kevins.

Let’s help spread the word: solid matter is real, and so is personal space. Stay safe out there—and remember to steer clear of the Kevins!

Found this post entertaining? Share it with your fellow hallway warriors and let’s build a world where no one has to fear being walked through ever again!

Original Reddit Post: Kevin keeps trying to walk through me