The Man Who Thought Time Zones Were a Conspiracy (and the Internet That Tried to Help Him)
Imagine gearing up for a big trip with your friend. You’re browsing flights, dreaming about adventure—and then your travel buddy leans in, furrows his brow, and calmly suggests that time zones are a global scam invented by airlines to make flight schedules look prettier.
Meet Kevin: the hero (or anti-hero) of one of Reddit’s most memorable “Stories About Kevin.” When confronted with the oddities of crossing time zones, he didn’t just get confused—he confidently declared the entire concept was an elaborate ruse. Airlines, he explained, just fudge the clocks to make travel less daunting. And who benefits from this grand deception? The airlines, of course.
If you’re already rubbing your temples, you’re not alone. As the story unfolded, Reddit’s collective jaw hit the floor—and then the community did what it does best: dissected, debated, and meme’d it into legend.
Kevin vs. The Clock: A Battle for (Un)Reason
Let’s set the scene: You’re booking a flight. You spot a five-hour duration, but the arrival time is only two hours after departure. Most of us would sigh, “Ah, time zones.” Not Kevin. He gazes at the numbers, then declares, “That’s fake math.”
The original storyteller, u/CommercialDot708, handled it with grace—no sarcasm, no eye rolls. But Kevin wasn’t biting. “Time zones are more of a suggestion,” he insisted, “just formatting airlines use.” To him, the whole world is in on a collective agreement to pretend time works differently in different places, and airlines are the biggest beneficiaries of the lie.
The kicker? When asked why people in other countries are asleep at different times, Kevin replied, “Because they choose to be.” In Kevin’s world, the sun isn’t dictating our rhythms—social convention (and possibly Big Airline) is.
Redditor u/NotPrepared2 chimed in with a question we were all thinking: “Does Kevin also believe the world is flat?” The answer doesn’t come, but the comparison stuck. Many pointed out that this “I don’t understand it, so it must be fake” mindset is alarmingly similar to flat-earth logic. As u/winter_laurel recounted, sometimes the most confident people get it the most wrong—especially when science is involved.
Community Commentary: Laughs, Facepalms, and Philosophy
If Kevin’s theory had Reddit in stitches, the comments section was a masterclass in reaction. Some tried to reason, others despaired, and a few went full philosopher:
- u/weaver_of_cloth speculated that Kevin’s phone must have changed to local time when he landed, “which probably helps him maintain the delusion.” The automated magic of smartphones—gaslighting, or just helpful?
- “Kevin invented time travel!” joked u/kevlarus80, picturing a world where flight duration and clocks are untethered from reality.
- Others, like u/Andante79 and u/Mustangbex, dove into the existential: “Time is a human construct, so on one level he’s not wrong…” True, clock time is something we agree on—but as u/Secret_Map countered, “Time is a ‘real’ thing, a real aspect of reality. It’s like saying distance is manmade. Distance is real; a meter is a manmade concept.”
- China came up repeatedly as an example of how time zones really are a choice. As u/rosuav explained, China runs on a single time zone, meaning sunrise and sunset can be wildly out of sync depending on where you are.
- And for the practical-minded, u/Cuavas shared, “I always have my watch set to UTC and just convert to local time in my head,” a level of organization Kevin would probably find suspicious.
The community’s consensus? Time zones are a weird, imperfect solution to a spinning planet. We all agree to keep our clocks in sync, even if it means accepting the occasional temporal oddity. Or, as u/Suppafly summed up, “Time zones sorta are collectively agreeing to lie about time, just not in the way [Kevin] assumes.”
The Confidence Conundrum: Why Kevin’s Not Alone
One of the most insightful threads came from u/throwaway387190, who pointed out that confidence often trumps accuracy in debates like this. “So because [anti-science folks are] confident, a lot of people automatically think they’re right.” This “confidence game” is why flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, and—apparently—time zone deniers can sometimes win arguments, even when the facts aren’t on their side.
But as many commenters observed, there’s a difference between questioning the system and refusing to learn. Demonstrations with globes and flashlights were suggested (thanks, u/merpixieblossomxo), but the community was skeptical about whether it would make a difference. As u/Frazzledragon put it, “Some stupid is impenetrable. And comfy in its stupidity.”
The Final Boarding Call
The story has a happy-ish ending. Kevin got on the plane, arrived on time, and (miraculously) didn’t challenge the clocks at airport security. But for u/CommercialDot708, the experience was draining enough to swear off future travel planning with Kevin—not because of the time zone debate, but because arguing with someone who thinks time is a suggestion is just too much emotional labor.
So what do we take from Kevin’s adventure? Maybe it’s a reminder that the world runs on a fragile web of shared assumptions—about time, about money, about reality itself. As one commenter quipped, “Money is fake anyway.” But unlike time, at least money doesn’t make your flight land before it takes off.
What’s your weirdest encounter with time, travel, or “creative thinking”? Drop a comment below—just don’t tell Kevin we’re all in on the conspiracy.
Original Reddit Post: Kevin doesn’t believe time zones are real and thinks airlines are just gaslighting us