The Petty Power Move That Made a Teen’s Dad Think He Was Secretly Smoking
Picture this: two teens at their first jobs, a supermarket humming with fluorescent lights and the constant beep of checkout scanners. The year? Sometime in the 1980s, that golden age of mall hair, cassette tapes, and, apparently, workplace rivalries as unforgettable as they are… well, forgettable.
Our protagonist, u/WardOnTheNightShift, was just a bag boy—one of the unsung heroes of grocery shopping. He had a coworker, similarly aged, with whom he shared the kind of mild, inexplicable antagonism that only teenagers can truly master. Decades later, Ward has no memory of the original offense. That’s how petty this story is. But what he does remember? The day he struck back with a masterstroke of mischief so subtle, so brilliant, that it still makes him chuckle forty years on.
Let’s set the scene: it’s payday. Ward’s just nabbed his hard-earned cash and, indulging in a vice that he’s since kicked, bought two packs of cigarettes. As fate would have it, he spots his nemesis in line with his dad waiting for his own paycheck. An idea—equal parts petty and ingenious—strikes.
Ward strolls over, holds out a pack, and says, with perfect timing: “Here’s that pack of cigarettes I owe you.”
Cue immediate, frantic denial from the coworker. Cue a dad’s face clouding over in suspicion and disappointment. Mission accomplished.
Petty, Pointless, and Perfect
Let’s be honest: everyone loves a little harmless mischief, especially when it’s wrapped in a neat package of poetic justice. What makes this story so delightful is its relatability. Who among us hasn’t fantasized about a sly, non-violent way to get back at a frenemy—especially when you can’t even remember what started the beef in the first place?
What’s so genius about Ward’s move is its utter harmlessness. No one got hurt. No jobs were lost. No lifelong scars inflicted—just a few seconds of uncomfortable squirming for his coworker and a lifetime of giggles for Ward. It’s the kind of revenge that doesn’t actually cause any harm, but delivers maximum impact: embarrassment, confusion, and a moment that’s probably still legendary in that guy’s family lore (“Remember the time you almost got grounded for cigarettes you never even smoked?”).
The Art of Petty Revenge
There’s something almost artful about this flavor of pettiness. Unlike grand gestures of vengeance (think: slashing tires, reporting to the boss, or orchestrating elaborate takedowns), a truly petty revenge is quick, unexpected, and leaves no lasting damage—just a delicious aftertaste. It’s the equivalent of a perfectly timed zinger or a well-placed whoopee cushion.
The best petty revenges are also personalized. Ward knew his coworker’s parents were anti-tobacco, and that the coworker was, as far as he knew, a non-smoker. He exploited that tiny nugget of information for maximum effect, turning a mundane payday into a minor family drama. It’s a gentle reminder that, when it comes to getting even, sometimes knowing your target is more important than the scale of your scheme.
Why Do We Love These Stories?
It’s not just schadenfreude (though, let’s be real, that’s part of it). Petty revenge tales let us vicariously enjoy a world where small injustices can be righted with a wink and a nudge. They’re the antidote to all those times we bit our tongues, let things slide, or were simply too polite to act. In a way, these stories are wish fulfillment for the little guy—or, in this case, the bag boy.
And let’s not overlook the nostalgia factor. There’s something charming about a story set in a pre-digital world, where reputations could be made or marred in the checkout line rather than on social media.
The Lasting Power of Petty
So, what can we learn from Ward’s tale of supermarket shenanigans? Maybe that it’s okay to indulge in harmless mischief now and again. That the best stories aren’t always about grand gestures, but about the little moments that make us laugh years down the line. Or maybe, simply, that if you’re going to exact revenge, make sure it’s clever enough to be remembered—and petty enough not to be regretted.
Got your own tales of small-time vengeance? Share them in the comments—sometimes the tiniest pranks make for the biggest laughs!
Original Reddit Post: So petty I don’t even remember the offense.