'The Secret 'Screw You' Button: Confessions of a Petty Customer Support Hero'
Let’s face it: nobody likes calling customer support. Whether your satellite TV is stuck on a static-filled rerun or your bill looks more like a mortgage payment, the whole ordeal can feel like an endless loop of elevator jazz and robotic apologies. But have you ever wondered what it’s like on the other end of the line? Well, buckle up, because today we’re diving into the confessional of one ex-satellite provider employee who found the ultimate “petty revenge” for those less-than-courteous callers.
Imagine you’re fuming at your TV, dialing in with steam coming out your ears, ready to unleash a tirade on the poor soul who dares answer your call. Now, picture that person, cool as a cucumber, quietly grinning as they send you straight back into the call queue with the press of a magical, mischievous button. Oh yes—the “screw you” button is real, and this is its story.
The Fine Art of Customer Support… and the Untold War Stories
According to u/unknowable_stRanger on Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge, working for a major satellite provider was less dream job and more survival course. With a staggering 60% turnover rate in the first year, it’s easy to see why. Imagine fielding endless calls from customers who treat you like the villain in their personal tech tragedy, all while navigating a workplace so toxic you’d need a hazmat suit just to clock in.
But what really takes the cake are the “super entitled” customers—the ones convinced their time is worth more than yours, and that every tech hiccup is a personal affront. You know the type: they start the call with a roar, sprinkle in some creative insults, and expect you to fix everything with a wave of your magic customer service wand.
Enter: The "Screw You" Button
But our hero wasn’t entirely powerless. Hidden among the sea of call center screens was a glorious little button—a digital ejector seat. When a caller crossed the line from frustrated to full-on rude, all it took was a polite, “Let me put you on the briefest of holds while I review your records,” and poof—back into the call queue they went, forced to start their journey all over again. Cue the smooth jazz and looping “your call is very important to us” message—music to any agent’s ears.
While this act of petty revenge might not have fixed their satellite dish, it certainly served up a hearty slice of karmic justice. As the Redditor gleefully recalls, “I still giggle at what I imagine was their confusion and then super angry disgust when they end up back at the call queue.”
Why This Story Hits Home
Let’s be real: we’ve all been annoyed at customer service at some point. But stories like this are a perfect reminder that there’s a real human on the other end—one who didn’t break your equipment, raise your bill, or invent the concept of hold music. They’re just trying to get through the day (and maybe keep their turnover stats from hitting 100%).
And if every agent had a “screw you” button, just imagine the improvement in phone etiquette. Maybe “the customer is always right” needs an asterisk: “*if they aren’t a raging jerk.”
The Takeaway: Kindness Costs Nothing
This little tale of call center mischief is more than just a laugh—it’s a life lesson in disguise. When you’re the next person dialing in, remember: a little patience and courtesy can go a long way. Not only will your issue get solved faster, but you’ll avoid the dreaded fate of the infinite hold loop.
So, next time you’re about to unleash your inner Hulk on some unsuspecting customer support rep, pause, take a breath, and remember: somewhere out there, a “screw you” button is just one click away.
Have your own customer service horror story or secret revenge tactic? Share it in the comments below! And don’t forget—next time you hear that jazzy hold music, smile. You might just be making someone’s day a little easier.
Be nice. It’s the best way to avoid the queue of doom.
Original Reddit Post: Be nice to customer and tech support people!