The Stairwell Stalker: Why You Never Do In-Calls at the 9th Circle of Hotel Hell
If you’ve ever thought working at a hotel was a snooze fest, think again. Picture yourself on the graveyard shift, eyes glued to security cams, caffeine running through your veins, and drama lurking around every corner. Now, throw in slippery guests, long-term “professionals,” and—just for flavor—a stairwell scene so absurd you’ll never look at hotel corridors the same way again.
Let’s take a trip to the Stupendous (Not Quite) 9th Circle of Hell Hotel, where the floors are smoky, the residents are colorful, and the stairwells… well, they’re a whole new level of weird.
Life on the Front Desk: Not for the Faint of Heart
Our hero, hotel night auditor extraordinaire, is running on 72 hours a week, living on the infamous drama-filled 5th floor. But tonight’s tale doesn’t take place in her smoky sanctuary. No, this story unfolds in that liminal space between floors—the stairwell. And trust me, what happens in the stairwell does NOT stay in the stairwell.
This hotel is the kind of place where long-term residents include a few well-known sex workers. Everyone’s in on the secret, but as long as nobody’s shouting from the rooftops, the unspoken rule is: keep your head down (some further than others, apparently). Our narrator’s built a rapport with a few of these women—solidarity, after all, is a powerful thing during a 3am shift.
One such resident, a woman on the second floor, gives the front desk a heads up: she’s expecting “company.” No big deal, right? If only.
The Slimeball Makes His Entrance
Enter the “client,” whose attempt at casual is so poorly executed, it’s like watching a raccoon in a tuxedo sneak through a backyard wedding. He meanders past the front desk, tries to act like he belongs, and then—rather than heading to the elevator—slips into the stairwell. Hmm.
Cameras only cover the hallways, not the stairs, so our desk warrior keeps a close eye. The guy bounces between floors, evades every camera, and eventually vanishes like the world’s worst magician. Is he lost? Plotting? Preparing for a Mission Impossible-style heist? No, friends. It’s much, much weirder.
The (Un)Great Reveal
Not about to let a potential creeper roam unchecked, our brave narrator heads up to her floor and works her way down, Sherlock Holmes style. Nothing on 5, 4, or 3. But on the 2nd floor, near the last room—the “company” girl’s room—she finds the missing man.
There he is, just out of camera range, pants around his ankles, sweat dripping, “entertaining himself” with a vigor reserved for marathon runners and… well, very lonely men in stairwells. Oblivious to the world thanks to the hum of a nearby fan, he’s in his own little universe.
Our hero doesn’t miss a beat—she kicks the door open and shouts, “SIR! Hey asshole! You need to put that away and get the fuck out of my hotel!” Sometimes, you just have to shock the system and hope for the best (or at least, avoid an even bigger mess).
The man, without so much as a glance, yanks up his pants and sprints out, setting a new personal best in “shameful hotel exit.” The front desk savior gives herself a well-earned chuckle and calls the resident to explain why her guest won’t be knocking.
Lessons from the 2nd Floor
Turns out, she did the resident a huge favor. The guy had been creeping her out for days, ignoring her attempts to cancel and sending a barrage of messages that screamed “unhinged.” She didn’t want him to know where she lived, but he insisted on the in-call. Our narrator moved the woman to another room for safety—because sometimes, you don’t know how close you are to being stalked until your front desk guardian angel steps in.
And thus, the golden rule emerges: If you’re in this line of work (or any situation where privacy matters), “Out-calls only!” Never let someone know where you lay your head—especially in a hotel with more stories than rooms.
Never a Dull Moment: Your Turn!
Hospitality work isn’t just about mints on pillows and polite smiles. Sometimes, it’s about handling weirdos in stairwells, protecting your residents, and keeping your sense of humor intact—even when the universe throws you sweat-drenched curveballs.
Got a hotel horror story? Or maybe a time you had to think on your feet at work? Share your own tales in the comments—because as we’ve learned, the best stories are the ones too wild to make up.
Stay safe, stay sharp, and always check the stairwell before you clock out!
Original Reddit Post: This is why you don't do in calls