The Unwritten Laws of Tech Support: A Hilariously Accurate Survival Guide
If you’ve ever worked in tech support—or simply called the helpdesk in a moment of panic—you know there’s an unspoken set of laws governing the universe. Some are funny, some are painful, and nearly all are true. Recently, the r/TalesFromTechSupport community compiled the ultimate “Rules of Tech Support,” a master list that’s part field guide, part therapy, and all-too-relatable for anyone who has ever tried to explain “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” to a user for the hundredth time.
But what makes these rules sparkle isn’t just the wisdom of the list itself—it’s the rich, sometimes exasperated, often hilarious commentary from the techies who live this every day. Let’s dive into the rules, the reactions, and why tech support truly deserves hazard pay and a lifetime supply of coffee.
Rule 1: Users Lie (But Maybe Not on Purpose)
Rule 1 is the North Star for tech support: “Users lie.” But as the list’s creator, u/morriscox, clarifies, “It may not be malicious or willful, but Rule 1 is always in effect.” This is less an accusation than a survival mechanism. People forget, misremember, or are just plain wrong. As one commenter, u/tessler65, shared, their team had to implement audit trails simply because “it got so bad that we programmed in audit trails on critical data so we could look up user, date/timestamp and what was changed.” Miraculously, just mentioning the existence of an audit trail was enough for users to “suddenly remember” they made the change—proof that memory is a slippery thing, especially when tech is involved.
If users aren’t lying, they’re likely just mistaken (see Rule 1F). And yes, sometimes, as Rule 1G notes, you have to “lie” a little yourself—usually to coax a user into trying the fix you know will work. It’s a dance, and everyone has two left feet.
The Perpetual Blame Game (And the Printer Is Always Guilty)
Tech support is the only field where your fault is both the problem and the solution. If something breaks, “it is your fault” (Rule 4). If it works? “You had nothing to do with it” (Rule 4A). As u/MCPhssthpok quipped, “If anything goes wrong, what are we even paying IT for? If nothing goes wrong, what are we even paying IT for?” It’s a lose-lose that every IT pro knows all too well.
And nothing embodies this more than printers. Rule 30 is practically a novella on why printers are evil. “It’s always the printer. Printers are evil,” the list declares, and the community agrees. Users will send a document to print 50 times, mash every button in sight, and when all 50 copies finally burst forth in a paper avalanche, guess whose fault it is? Yours, of course. As u/Geminii27 points out, “When the print queue suddenly dumps the 50 copies they sent to the printer to the actual printer, this will be your fault.”
Users vs. Error Messages: An Epic Miscommunication
If there’s a single universal constant in tech support, it’s that users never read error messages (Rule 8). Or, if they do, they remember everything except the part that matters. u/AKADAP shared the all-too-familiar: “Actual error messages: ‘An error has occurred.’ That’s it.” Sometimes, you’re lucky if the software says anything at all—other times, it’s just a mysterious exclamation mark and an “OK” button. When asked what the error said, expect responses like, “I don’t know, just an error. I closed it,” or the classic, “Isn’t it YOUR JOB to know that?”
This communication gap leads to a vicious troubleshooting cycle. As the rules (and the comments) highlight, even highly educated users are often the worst offenders—Rule 8B notes, “The more advanced degree a user has, the less likely they are to read anything.” And as u/Geminii27 adds, “Users will be AMAZED at the thought that they should do what the error message tells them to do.”
The Survival Guide: Coffee, Cunning, and Never Volunteering
The rules aren’t just about what users do—they’re also about how techs survive. “Start the day with coffee or tea and end with whiskey or scotch or bourbon or beer...” (Rule 57) is less an adage and more a lifeline. And when all else fails, “Never volunteer” (Rule 61). If you reveal you’re a tech outside of work, you risk being roped into a lifetime of “free IT support”—a fate so dreaded that the rules warn, “Never, EVER, give out personal contact information” (Rule 27A), with u/Geminii27 suggesting you be ready to change your number if necessary.
But the community also finds camaraderie in these shared struggles. As u/yoippari declared, “I think I’m printing this out to put on my office wall.” It’s not just a list; it’s a badge of honor, a reminder that you’re not alone in the madness.
Conclusion: Share Your Pain (and Your Rules)
The “Rules of Tech Support” aren’t just for venting—they’re for survival, solidarity, and a little bit of sanity in a world where every day can bring a new flavor of chaos. Whether you’re in the trenches or just calling the helpdesk, these rules are a reminder: empathy, patience, and a sense of humor are your best tools.
Got your own tech support war story or a rule to add? Drop it in the comments—because as Rule 86 almost mythically suggests, somewhere out there is a user who reads error messages, follows instructions, and never blames the printer. But until you meet them, these rules (and your fellow techies) have your back.
Original Reddit Post: Rules of Tech Support - Main - 2026-02-07