The War for the Curb: How One Neighbor’s Petty Parking Battle Became Reddit Legend
Have you ever lived next to a neighbor who thinks public street parking is their God-given right, and everyone else is a trespasser? If not, count your blessings. If yes, grab a coffee, because you’re about to meet your spiritual sibling. This is the tale of u/spookyookykittycat, who recently shared their saga on Reddit’s r/PettyRevenge, and it’s a masterclass in neighborly pettiness, boundary-setting, and the fine art of not letting the crazies win.
It starts with a “jerking off” gesture, escalates to police involvement, and crescendos with a victorious peace sign—caught on camera, of course. But the real gold? The Reddit community’s mix of advice, solidarity, and savage humor that turns this neighborhood drama into an absolute must-read.
The “I Own This Street” Delusion
Let’s set the scene: OP (that’s u/spookyookykittycat) lives next to an elderly couple who firmly believe the curb in front of their house is private property. Never mind that it’s a public street with ample parking—these two treat it like a personal moat. Things were tense but civil until the “husband” (let’s call him Mr. Curb Control) greeted OP’s partner with an obscene gesture. Why? Because a friend parked in front of their house. For just 24 hours. With parking space left to spare.
Instead of escalating, OP and partner tried to keep the peace. “But I knew I was done pretending to be nice,” OP admits. And who could blame them? When diplomacy fails, sometimes you just have to lean all the way into the pettiness.
When Petty Meets Police: The Parking Showdown
The plot thickens on MLK Day. After an early morning knock goes unanswered (because who answers the door at 8am on a holiday?), Mr. Curb Control corners OP’s partner and smugly reveals, “We called the cops on you because you guys keep parking too close.” He claims the officer was about to ticket them, but the neighbor graciously intervened.
But, as OP wisely observes, “I wasn’t parked illegally nor was I close to the car. I was eye-estimating about 2 feet of space between us. I was also parked in front of my own house.” Sensing a bluff, OP calls the non-emergency line and gets the truth straight from the source: the cop had no intention of ticketing anyone and found the whole thing laughable. “They even offered to do house checks for us since we leave for our honeymoon soon,” OP notes, scoring a win in both neighborly sass and police rapport.
Here’s where petty becomes poetic: OP moves their car even closer—just one foot from the neighbor’s jeep—and throws a peace sign for the ever-watchful security cameras. As one popular commenter, u/ArizonaGuy59, put it: “‘Can’t be too good for his health in the long term’ - LMFAOOOOOOOOOO😂😂😂.”
Neighborhood Solidarity and Sage Reddit Wisdom
Turns out, OP isn’t the only target. The neighbor to the right (who is brown, while Mr. Curb Control is, predictably, not) has faced racially-tinged harassment. “We are on the same page,” OP confirms, showing that sometimes, adversity forges the strongest neighborhood alliances.
Redditors flocked to the thread with a blend of practical advice and dark humor. u/paintedlotusyt, with over 2,000 upvotes, offered a note of caution: “Just stay safe. People this unhinged have no boundaries anymore.” Others, like u/Wakemeup3000, urged OP to get their own cameras: “Racist people seem to be pretty emboldened lately and you should cover your bases to catch anything he does around your house.” OP took the advice to heart, updating, “I did order 2 cameras so I'm thinking one on each side of my front door? Either way, they will be covered.”
Then there’s the gallows humor: “The Blood Pressure Bandit playing the long game over here. Lol,” quipped u/No-Tap6886, while u/keepcalmandklaxon reminded everyone, “I just figure, time will win this war for me one day.” Graveyards, as they say, are full of people who were right.
The Moral: You Don’t Own the Street, But You Can Own Your Response
If there’s a lesson here, it’s that the public street is… well, public. As u/Va_cyclone succinctly put it: “Your property line ends at street or sidewalk depending on where you live. You don't own the street in front of your house. The city does.”
But more than that, this story is about not letting bullies—no matter how old, cranky, or set in their ways—dictate your life. OP’s combination of assertiveness, documentation, and a dash of performance art (the peace sign, the well-timed camera call) is the blueprint for handling neighborhood nonsense without stooping to illegal or unsafe levels of escalation.
And if you’re ever in doubt? “Start keeping a log of every single encounter… It will come in handy if you need to speak with the police regarding the ongoing harassment,” advised u/crazihac. In other words: Document, document, document.
Conclusion: Will Petty Prevail?
So what’s next for OP and the Curb Control Commanders? They’re moving in a year or two, but until then, OP works from home and, by their own admission, “takes joy in stirring pots.” The petty isn’t over—if anything, it’s just getting started.
Have your own neighbor horror stories? Tips for surviving suburban warfare? Share in the comments below! And if you’re fighting your own curb crusade, remember: Stay safe, stay smart, and—when in doubt—throw up a peace sign for the camera.
Parking wars may be eternal. But with a little wit and a lot of documentation, you can park wherever the law allows—and sleep soundly at night.
Original Reddit Post: Neighbors try to own the entire street in front of their house, I’m the first neighbor to not let them get what they want