Thou Shalt Not Steal (Parking Spots): The Petty Revenge of Good Friday
You haven’t truly experienced the crucible of modern urban living until you’ve circled your apartment parking lot, teeth gritted, praying for a single available space. Now, imagine finally spotting one—only to discover it’s been nabbed by a vanload of door-knocking missionaries. What’s a weary tenant to do? As one Redditor on r/PettyRevenge discovered, sometimes divine justice comes in the form of a tow truck.
This is the tale of “Missionaries parked in our lot to knock on doors, so I had their car towed”—a story that proves that on Good Friday, karma might just wear a reflective vest and drive a flatbed.
When All Hope (and Parking) Is Lost
If you’ve ever lived in an apartment complex with fewer spaces than residents, you know the stakes: Parking isn’t just a convenience, it’s a nightly battle. For u/benihanaxmas, the original poster (OP), this wasn’t just a first-world problem—it was the law of the asphalt jungle. By 4 or 5 pm, all spots vanished, forcing tenants to seek parking far from home.
So, when a gaggle of 6-8 missionaries rolled up, parked in the lot, and fanned out to spread the gospel (and flyers for an LDS Easter service), OP’s patience was already running on empty. After watching the group leave their car behind and march off to evangelize elsewhere, OP made a move worthy of biblical parables: they alerted the apartment managers, who summoned the tow truck. Within the hour, OP snagged the last available spot. As they put it, “Happy Good Friday!”
Divine Comedy: Reddit Weighs In
If you thought this story was juicy, wait until you see Reddit’s reaction. The comments section became a confessional booth—part stand-up comedy set, part group therapy for anyone who’s ever lost a parking space to the entitled or oblivious.
“How Godly of them to steal parking spots from people who paid for the right to use them,” observed u/GalaxyGirlEtAl, setting the tone for the thread. “You let the manager know, and the manager let God know. And then God told your manager to go ahead and call the towing company.” It was Reddit’s version of “let go and let God,” with a healthy dash of pettiness.
The puns came fast and furious: “He Tows Us!” quipped u/smallfloralprince, while u/DollySheep32 anointed the situation “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Tow-ly Spirit.” There were calls for “Chevrolegs” to spirit the missionaries home, and even a suggestion for a windshield note: “God thought you were being rude and selfish, FAFO” (look it up—this is a family blog).
But Reddit wasn’t just here for holy humor. Many empathized with OP’s frustration. As u/honeylacednights confessed, “i used to live somewhere with the worst parking and one time i came home after a long day and had to park like three blocks away because people kept taking spots that weren’t theirs…there’s a point where patience just quietly runs out and you don’t even notice it until it’s gone.” We’ve all been there, debating whether we’re overreacting—or about to become “the problem” that day.
The Gospel According to Parking Enforcement
Aside from the cathartic schadenfreude, Redditors offered some fascinating context on the missionary experience. Some questioned the logistics: “I thought the missionaries only rode bicycles,” pondered u/BoysenberryFinal9113. Turns out, as several ex-Mormons and ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses chimed in, cars, vans, and even (allegedly) horses and buggies are all in play, depending on the region and the resources. As u/solvraev explained, “when I was in Leicester, England…we had a Land Rover Metro with a 900cc engine. But in more urban areas, they go on foot or bicycle.”
The thread became a support group for ex-evangelicals. “As an ex-Jehovah’s Witness (we are evangelical doomsday cult cousins to Mormons) I salute the fuck out of you OP!!!!” wrote u/EatMeEmerald, sparking cheers for “emancipation” from the “J-dubs.” Others, like u/Atillion, an ex-Mormon, gave their stamp of approval, while u/Fresh_Process6822 summed up the community’s consensus: “I salute you—not because the offending party was a group of missionaries, but for taking appropriate action against entitlement rule breaking.”
And then there was the theological debate: Was this doing God’s work, or Satan’s? “God obviously needed them to learn that lesson, or their cars would not have been towed,” mused u/Druid-Flowers1. “I wonder if you knew you were doing god work?” Score one for the divine comedy.
A Parable for Our Times
At the end of the day, this is more than a petty revenge story—it’s a modern morality play. Whether your own nemesis is a fleet of missionaries, an overeager neighbor, or just the existential dread of not finding parking after work, OP’s tale resonates with that little voice in all of us that cries out, “Not today, interlopers! Not today.”
As u/NoIndependent9192 put it, “A tale as old as time.” At least, as old as the invention of the parking permit.
So next time you see a suspiciously full parking lot and a group of strangers canvassing your building, remember: Sometimes, the meek don’t inherit the earth—they inherit the last parking spot, thanks to a well-timed call to the manager.
Join the Congregation—Your Turn!
What’s your pettiest parking revenge story? Have you ever felt a little too victorious after enforcing the rules? Or, have you been on the receiving end of parking justice? Share your tales of triumph, woe, or neighborly drama in the comments below—because if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s that parking wars bring us all a little closer together (even if only at the tow yard).
And may the Tow-ly Spirit be ever in your favor.
Original Reddit Post: Missionaries parked in our lot to knock on doors, so I had their car towed.