Weaponized Incompetence in Aisle 3: The Curious Case of Grocery Store Kevins
Picture this: You stroll into your local grocery store, ready to snag your usual favorites, but something’s off. Mountains of Raisin Bran, rivers of white cabbage, and a suspicious absence of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Is it a supply chain crisis? A cereal conspiracy? Or… is it the handiwork of a Kevin?
If you’ve ever wondered how your supermarket ends up with bizarre quantities of the weirdest products, you’re not alone. Thanks to a viral Reddit post on r/StoriesAboutKevin, we now have front-row seats to the slapstick world of grocery store inventory—and the weaponized incompetence that fuels it.
When "Kevin" Gets the Clipboard: How Orders Go Awry
Let’s set the scene: a local grocery store, a well-meaning employee (let’s call him Kevin, for tradition’s sake), and a warehouse full of temptation. As u/greyshem put it, “Someone has discovered a way to harness the powers of Kevin! Weaponized incompetence.” It’s the kind of self-sabotage that seems almost intentional—except, it’s not.
In the original Reddit tale (and its gallery of photographic evidence), the store keeps receiving comically unbalanced shipments. Think: enough Raisin Bran to build a fortress, with the good stuff like Cinnamon Toast Crunch vanishing before you can say “breakfast.”
Reddit’s grocery insiders chimed in quickly. As u/graflexparts explained, “Those damn GM cereal mods come ONLY as that variety mix. Cinnamon Toast Crunch sells the fastest and they ship in the smallest quantity per mod.” Translation? It’s not always Kevin’s fault—sometimes, it’s the arcane ways of bulk ordering. Retailers order “packs” or “mods” of mixed cereals, and the crowd-pleasers are always in shortest supply.
But wait, could stores just order single items? u/YourPhoneIs_Ringing wondered the same, prompting u/kuckbaby to clarify: you can, but “you usually get a deep discount on the ‘packs’ like that, but you can order the individual cereal at a normal cost.” In other words: pay more, or brace yourself for an avalanche of Raisin Bran.
And then there’s the classic “crate vs. box” confusion. As u/rfc2549-withQOS joked, “What do you mean, crate is not the same as box? I need 20 of these, I guess I say 20, and I want that to be in a crate, so 20 crates, right?” IT support, they say, is eerily similar.
Tales of Inventory Woe: Crates, Cabbages, and the Curse of Kevin
Ordering mishaps aren’t restricted to cereal. As u/Future_Direction5174 confessed, “My boss managed to order 20 crates of white cabbage, instead of 2… No he wasn’t called Kevin because this was back in 2007.” The “Kevin” moniker may be new, but the phenomenon is timeless. Whether it’s a slip of the mouse, a misread form, or just plain confusion, grocery stores have always been at the mercy of their most well-intentioned (or absent-minded) staff.
The Reddit crowd couldn’t get enough. “Who keeps letting Kevin order anything?” wondered u/HeroORDevil8, echoing the collective exasperation (and amusement) of anyone who’s worked retail.
u/desertsidewalks chimed in with a practical angle: “I’ve heard that the grocery store ordering systems aren’t especially user friendly?” If you’ve ever stared down an outdated computer terminal with a blinking green cursor, you know the struggle is real.
Tonic Water Trauma and the Myth of Guilt-Free G&Ts
But the saga doesn’t end in the cereal aisle. The Reddit thread veered unexpectedly into beverage territory when u/CaptainHunt asked, “What even is diet tonic water?” This innocent question sparked a mini-exposé.
u/recovery_room dropped some knowledge: “Regular has a Lot of sugar in it. If you’re an enjoyer of vodka/gin & tonic, the diet version is just as good.” Cue the collective gasp from gin lovers everywhere. “I was shocked when I first learned that tonic water has a not-insignificant amount of calories and sugar (almost as much as regular coke),” admitted u/Nickbou.
Let’s clear the air: tonic water is not soda water. As u/CaptainHunt confessed, “I always thought it was just quinine.” (You and half the gin-drinking world.) The revelation left u/TravelingGoose “shocked and dismayed,” vowing a full reassessment of their cocktail choices.
Why Do We Love These "Kevin" Stories So Much?
There’s something universally relatable about the “Kevin” archetype—the person who means well, tries hard, and somehow manages to create chaos anyway. As u/recovery_room playfully suggested, “We need to talk about Kevin.” u/PonyFlare agreed, “Why else are we here except to talk about Kevin—or just read the stories when others are talking about Kevin?”
Whether it’s the thrill of retail schadenfreude, the comfort of shared incompetence, or just the reminder that everyone messes up sometimes, these stories strike a nerve. And as u/merpixieblossomxo pointed out, it’s even the title of a movie—one you should definitely check out if you enjoy both dark comedy and retail drama.
Conclusion: Next Time You See Raisin Bran—Thank Kevin
So, next time you’re standing in front of an inexplicable wall of Raisin Bran (or dodging a cabbage avalanche), take a moment to salute the Kevins of the world. They keep our grocery trips interesting, our Reddit threads lively, and our gin and tonics—well, maybe a bit more caloric than we realized.
Have you witnessed a “Kevin” moment at your local store? Ever accidentally ordered way too much of something at work? Share your stories in the comments—after all, we’re all here to talk about Kevin.
Original Reddit Post: Apparently this just keeps happening at my local grocery store