“We’re Here to Die”: The Night My Hotel Shift Turned Into a Scene from a David Lynch Movie
Have you ever had a work shift that made you question the very fabric of reality? Maybe you’ve served an odd customer or fielded a strange complaint. But unless you’ve spent time behind the front desk of a big-city hotel, you probably haven’t heard a guest cheerfully announce, “We’re going to die tonight!” as they check in.
That’s exactly what happened to Reddit user u/Suspicious_Orange_71, who shared their surreal, unsettling, and somehow darkly hilarious story on r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk. Buckle up—it’s a wild ride through the twilight zone of hospitality.
The Check-In That Went Off the Rails
It started like any other evening shift: two guests walked in, looking a bit worse for wear. If you’ve worked in a city hotel, you know the drill—a little suspicious, a little guarded. Sometimes folks who appear homeless come in and try to score a free night. Our intrepid desk agent, thinking ahead, let the duo know that only credit cards were accepted, expecting them to leave.
Plot twist: The man produced a credit card. And, after some frantic rummaging, an actual matching ID. “Well, okay then,” thought our host, “guess I’m checking you in.”
As the trio strolled to the room, the agent tried to make small talk. Maybe they were in town for an event? Visiting family? Nope.
“We’re going to die tonight,” the man replied.
Cue the awkward smiley face: oh nice 😃.
Death, Baking Soda, and Tinfoil
Later that evening, the pair returned to the desk—friendly as ever, just looking for a kettle. Curiosity got the better of our host, who asked if they’d really said they were, you know, planning to shuffle off this mortal coil. The woman confirmed it, almost gleefully: “Yes, we thought it would be better to die here.” The man added, “Sometimes you just know.”
Now, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Surely this is when the desk agent called the authorities?”—well, welcome to the world of city hotels, where every shift is a high-wire act between empathy, skepticism, and “I just want to keep my job.” The agent did what most of us would: braced themselves for whatever the morning would bring.
Spoiler alert: The guests survived the night. But not before the man ran up to the front desk at checkout, fists shaking, and threatened the agent with vague curses, while the woman chimed in, “You better watch out.” (Nothing says “thank you for your hospitality” like a good old-fashioned threat.)
After the duo left, the agent checked the room. The bed? Untouched. Their belongings? Just a box of baking soda and some tinfoil. The implication? Probably best left to the imagination (or a quick Google search—don’t do drugs, kids).
Surviving the Weirdness: A Front Desk Rite of Passage
If you’ve never worked in hospitality, this story might sound like a fever dream. For those who have, it’s just another day in paradise. The combination of unpredictable guests, odd requests, and the occasional existential declaration (“We’re here to die!”) creates a cocktail of chaos that’s oddly addictive.
There’s a delicate balance to be struck: treating every guest with dignity, but also protecting yourself and the hotel. The Redditor in this tale handled it with a mix of professionalism, humor, and the kind of emotional resilience that only comes from years on the front lines. Their reaction—mild concern, a dash of gallows humor, and a healthy dose of “not my circus, not my monkeys”—is honestly the only way to survive in this business.
The Takeaway (and Why You Should Tip Your Front Desk Agent)
What can we learn from this oddball encounter? First, never assume you’ve seen it all. Second, always check the room after a guest leaves (and maybe wear gloves). Third, the people working behind the counter at your hotel have seen—and heard—everything. Seriously: everything.
So next time you check into a hotel, spare a thought (and maybe a kind word) for the person at the front desk. They just might be having a weirder night than you.
Have you ever had a bizarre hotel experience—or worked a job where reality seemed to take a coffee break? Share your wildest stories in the comments below!
Hospitality veterans, what’s the strangest guest you’ve ever encountered? Comment below, or share this post with your fellow front desk warriors.
Original Reddit Post: Guest told me they were here to die